Young Writers Society

Okay so like I was bored and i came up with this >.> and I haven't posted a story in such a long time so why not? Anyways hope you like it Reviews would be much appreciated.
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What's the saddest thing you've ever heard? Hearing that someone had just passed away? Hearing a sad love song that reminds of you and your ex? Or maybe it's because 2 million people had just died due to an earth quake.

Well to me? It's children playing. Those little kids scattering about running and screaming you see on the playground. There is just something about sitting in your room next to the window wide open and you could see children playing as you listen to their joy and laughter. It's as if there's some sort of magic going on outside and you knew that you can no longer join them.

It's like a secret club you had had once entered that requires a password that you no longer remember. You'd wish you could go back and reverse time where you could join those children and when your biggest issue was what kind of flavour ice-cream you were going to have, not trying to avoid those annoying teachers that gave you detention everyday. But it seems as though that was a long time ago. We realised we've grown up.

Grown out of the things that used to make us so happy. You used to dream of chasing your wildest dreams when we were young. Don't we always wonder, how we wished to grow up when we are young but when you have, you wish you hadn't.

We hadn't realised what we had have when we used to be a kid. You didn't have to stress out on how well you had to do in your exams to please your parents when you've grown up. You just had to try your best. You didn't have to worry about your future, you had a chance to enjoy the present. You didn't have to worry about anything. You were a kid, and you'd wish you'd gone back to just being that. A kid. Young and happy.

When we have grown up, there's too much. The stages of life, you learn things. But sooner or later , the words become hurtful yet you still wish to become older. So why is it that we keep wishing to be young again.

Wow... That's all I can really say... That was sad... but it was very truthful. Very sweet and relatable. I rmember some of my childhood and sometimes I miss it. I haven't seen any of your other works but I bet it's good. I'll try and read more of your stuff later on. I promise. Anyway, I think you did good with your grammar, spelling, and punctuation. I found no errors what so ever. Kudos.
~Ladypurple.

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What's the saddest thing you've ever heard? Hearing that someone had just passed away? Hearing a sad love song that reminds of you and your ex? Or maybe it's because 2 million people had just died due to an earth quake. (this sounds a bit awkward, try: Or maybe it's hearing that 2 million people had just died due to an earthquake.)

Well to me?(again this sounds a bit awkward, try rephrasing it to: 'For me, it's children playing' or 'The saddest thing for me is watching children play') It's children playing. Those little kids scattering about running and screaming you see on the playground. There is just something about sitting in your room next to the window wide open and you could (you've changed tenses here, it should be 'can')see children playing (play) as you listen to their joy and laughter. It's as if there's some sort of magic going on outside and you knew (know) that you can no longer join them.

It's like a secret club you had had once entered that requires a password that (delete 'that')you no longer remember. You'd wish you could go back and reverse time where you could join those children and when your biggest issue was what kind of flavour ice-cream you were going to have, not trying to avoid those annoying teachers that gave you detention everyday(this is a very long sentence, try breaking it up a bit and re-phrasing it to something like: 'You wish you could reverse time and go back. Back to a time when your biggest issue was what kind of flavour ice cream you were going to have. Back to a time when you don't have to avoid those annoying teachers that give you detention every day.' Or something like that. I think it would be good to add a few more things that children do/don't have to worry about. But it seems as though that was a long time ago. We realised we've grown up.

Grown out of the things that used to make us so happy. You used to dream of chasing your wildest dreams when we were young. Don't we always wonder,(unnecessary comma) how we wished to grow up when we are young(,) but when you have, you wish you hadn't.

We hadn't realised what we had have when we used to be a kid. You didn't have to stress out on how well you had to do in your exams to please your parents when you've grown up. You just had to try your best. You didn't have to worry about your future, you had a chance to enjoy the present. You didn't have to worry about anything. You were a kid, and you'd wish you'd gone back to just being that. A kid. Young and happy.

When we have grown up, there's too much. The stages of life, you learn things. But sooner or later , the words become hurtful yet you still wish to become older. So why is it that we keep wishing to be young again. (should end in a question mark)

This is pretty good. There's just a few errors highlighted above. Keep writing

Wow, this is very touching and deep. I loved it. I don't see any major mistakes and I don't really have much to critique about it. Keep up the great work.

I didn't find any other errors that leebass did not point out. Woah, that's all I can say to this. This was really good. It made you think and it was very deep. It brought so many emotions to me thinking about being that kind of kid again. I loved your ending, so why is it we keep wishing to be young again? Personally, I think its just the feeling of freedom and innocence we experience as children. Not caring, not getting hurt like we do as we grow older and not having any responsibilities. I hope you post more things because you are really talented and I hope I can see, read and hopefully review some of your work. You ARE talented, keep up the amazing work.
Wicked <3