Young Writers Society

***this is an article I've prepared to submit. Harry Potter was one of the choices in the topic suggestions, so of course, I choose that. I'm open to critque. Be honest. But please try dont to discriminate because its about Harry Potter.***


Harry Potter: The End of an Era

J.K. Rowling tells us of how James and Lily Potter gave birth to a child on the night of July 31st. They named him Harry James Potter; and his influences on the world have been insurmountable. He is known in almost every household around the world with access to books, film, TV or media. Harry’s face, along with that of his two sidekicks Hermione Jean Granger and Ronald Bilius Wealsy, are plastered on walls everywhere.
The world-wide phenomenon started in 1997 when the first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s (Sorcerer’s) Stone, was released by J.K. Rowling. At the time, the then single mother had little hope that the book could be published--let alone turn into a multi-billion dollar franchise consisting of six additional pieces of extraordinary literature, eight immensely successful movies, Hogwarts school books, wizard fairy tales, cookbooks, and much, much more.
In 2000, Daniel Radcliffe was a boy of eleven who had very protective parents. The had both had plenty of experience with show business and tried to keep their son as far away from it as possible. This, however, did not last long. Once being approached multiple times about auditions for the casting of Harry Potter, the Radcliffes finally gave in. Daniel auditioned and was set to play the infamous role of the Boy Who Lived. Once he was cast, he got to meet his fellow co-stars. Emma Watson, perhaps better known as Hermione Granger, the know-it-all best friend of Harry and Ron, had been recruited after the casting crew went to her school and took her picture when she was just 9 years old. They called her just mere weeks later asking her make her way to London for the auditions. She brezed through these auditions and has established herself as one of the most renowned actresses in the world. Alongside Harry and Hermione, Ron Weasly was also going to be and extremely important part of the movies. His actor, Rupert Grint, won his role by sending a video tape of himself rapping to the director, Chris Columbus, at age twelve. Rupert had always felt that he looked a great deal like the descriptions Rowling had given in regards to Ron. This along with his “mad rap skills” seemed to have the creators convinced that they had just found the last member of their multimillion dollar trio.
Ten years later, fans across the world are feeling their childhoods coming to a halt as we dawn the epic finale. Through the years, we’ve watched as these energetic, young children become famous and successful adults. They have done a most brilliant job of portraying these characters with utmost enthusiasm and perseverance. Someone, much like myself, would find it very hard to imagine spending ten years working on one ongoing project, that in itself is a credit to these wonderful, young actors. Despite what was expected, they have pulled through all these years and continued to produce record-breaking films. Each performance even better than the last. They have truly grown up with their fans. This is what made the books and movies such a hit. They are going through things identical to what people in everyday life encounter but with the help of a top-grade wizarding school, wands, spell books, and owls.
As the end nears the theaters, we wonder, what will happen to this astounding series? Will it come and end as quickly as it all began? Or will it continue to grow and prosper for many years to come, bringing the triumphs and tragedies of Harry Potter to the next generation? Personally, I believe the same as author J. K. Rowling, who is now the richest woman in the world with more money than even the Queen of England, as she proclaims, “The stories we love live in us forever. So whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.”
Chills fall over every inch of my body as I recite this quote. Harry Potter and its prodigious, unique story is something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I know if there is ever a time in my life when I need a friend, I will always be able to confide in the pages of my worn and torn Harry Potter books. I can turn my back on the rest of the world, and simply luxuriate in the profound tale. To the world, Harry Potter may be nothing a 6.4 billion dollar franchise. But to true fans like myself, it is the reassurance that we will always find a home within the pages.




**sorry for any grammatical errors, please note them if you find any. thanks!!**

The only error I noticed was in the quote. It said 'weather' in the place of 'whether'. Maybe it was originally written that way, but I didn't know. Other than that, it was great, and made me really think about Harry Potter as more than just some stories.

Hello Lexie
I've come out of my YWS-Leave to review your piece as requested. My suggestions/comments are in blue. I hope this helps.

lexieells wrote:The Influences of Harry Potter

James and Lily Potter birthed a child on the night of July 31st as told by J.K. Rowling. This start in itself is a bit off. It's mainly to do with your chosen syntax here. If I were you, I'd re-word this to put J.K. Rowling as the sentence's subject, so it reads: J.K. Rowling tells us of how James and Lily Potter gave birth to a child on the night of July 31st. - sounds a bit clearer. They named him Harry James Potter; and his is influences on the world have been insurmountable. My suggestion here to merge these two sentences improves the fluency of your writing, otherwise it jumps from intro to point of view acclaimed. He is known in almost every household around the world with access to books, film, TV, Comma not needed or media. Harry’s face, along with that of his two acclaimed sidekicks Hermione Jean Granger and Ronald Bilius Wealsy, They're not so much 'acclaimed' as they just 'are', I'd reword this or remove 'acclaimed' are plastered on walls everywhere.

New Paragraph
The world-wide phenomenon of Harry Potter started in 1997 when the first book; Semi colon is wrong, it is predecessing a title of which it is introducing and therefore you should use a colon instead. HOWEVER, here it acts as an embedded clause witht he sentence finishing "was released by J.K. Rowling and therefore it should be neither colon nor semi-colon but a COMMA. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s (Philosopher’s) Stone "Sorcerer's" should be in brackets considering "Philosopher" is Rowling's original title, was released by J.K. Rowling. At the time, the then single mother had little hope that the book w could be published… don't know about you but ellipses '...' annoy me when I read. The more modern choice is to use a hash '-' instead let alone turn into turn into a multi-billion dollar franchise consisting of six additional pieces of extraordinary literature, eight immensely successful movies, Hogwarts school books, wizard fairy tales, cookbooks, and much, much more. One rule for Non-Fiction I was taught when I become Editor in Chief for my magazine was that "If the number you're writing is below twenty, write the word not the number." Therefore I have changed your digits to words here as a suggestion from my own received advice.

In 2000, Daniel Radcliffe was a boy of 11 that who had very protective parents. They had both had plenty of experience with show business and tried to keep their son as far away from it as possible. This, however, did not last long. Once being approached multiple times about auditions for the casting of Harry Potter, the Radcliffes finally gave in. Daniel auditioned and was set the to play the infamous role of the Boy Who Lived. Once he was cast, he got to meet his fellow co-stars. That was very well written and comfortable to read. Emma Watson, most well perhaps better known as Hermione Granger, the know-it-all best friend of Harry and Ron, had been recruited after the casting crew had went to her school and taken took her picture when she was just nine years old. They called her just mere weeks later asking her to fly to London for the auditions. Fly? Are you sure? Watson lived in Oxfordshire since she was six years old, which is only around an hour or so drive from London. It's not a big deal but to English people it sounds very out of place, I'd change it to "make her way to London for auditions." Obviously, she was quite successful during these auditions because she is now one of the most renowned actresses in the world. Mm, true, but you're comparing her then to her now so it is not as "obvious" as you claim here. It'd have been better to say "Watson breezed through auditions and has now established herself as one of the most renowned actresses in the world". See what I mean? Alongside Harry and Hermione, Ron Weasley was also going to be andextremely important part of the movies. His actor, Rupert Grint, won his role by sending a video tape of himself rapping to the director, Chris Columbus, at age twelve. Rupert had always felt that he looked a great deal like the descriptions Rowling had given in regards to Ron. This along with his “mad rap skills” seemed to have the creators convinced that they had just found the last member of their multimillion dollar trio.


Ten years later, fans across the world feel are feeling their childhoods coming to a halt as we dawn the epic finale. Keep the tenses engaging, hence my alteration of your use of past tense to present - it involves the reader moreso in the moment. Through the years, we’ve watched as these energetic, young children become famous and successful adults. They have done a most brilliant job of portraying these characters with utmost enthusiasm and perseverance. Someone, much like myself, would find it very hard to imagine spending ten years working on one ongoing project This sentence finishes abruptly, you need to continue to engage; you could say "ten years working on one ongoing project, so that in itself is a credit to these great, young actors. Despite what was expected, they have pulled through all these years and continued to produce record-breaking films. Each performance a little more improved better than the last. Be confident, Lexie. It's your opinion, flaunt it! They have truly grown up with their fans. Changing "the" to "their" involves fans rather than alienating them. This is what made the books and movies such a hit. They are going through things identical to what people in everyday life encounter but with the help of a top-grade wizarding school, wands, spell books, and owls. Good ending to the paragraph and rather amusing too. You seem to focus a lot on the movies though, rather than the books. I had a feeling this'd be a Harry Potter influence-article in general. Perhaps - since it doesn't seem to be - you could title it something a bit more drawing and intriguing like Potter: The End of an Era or something? See what I mean?


As the end nears the theaters, we wonder, what will happen to this astounding series? Will it come and end as quickly as it all began? Or will it continue to grow and prosper for many years to come, bringing the triumphs and tragedies of Harry Potter to the next generation? Personally, I believe that the same as author J. K. Rowling, who is now the richest woman in the world with more money than even the Queen of England, as she proclaims, “The stories we love live in us forever. So whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.”


Chills fall over every inch of my body as I recite this quote because it is shockingly correct. Your agreement to it being correct is shown already through the way you write. The more use of the subordinate conjunction "because" in your articles means that readers will feel you keep needing to explain your point and thus making your words seems less confident. This sentence would work much better if you ended it after "...as I recite this quote." Harry Potter and his its prodigious, unique story is something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I knowthat if there is ever a time in my life when I need a friend, I will always be able to confide in the pages of my worn and torn Harry Potter books. I can turn my back on the rest of the world, and simply luxuriate in the profound tale. To the world, Harry Potter may be nothing a 6.4 billion dollar franchise. But to true fans like myself, it is the reassurance that we will always find a home within the pages. Smart, well-rounded ending.

Okay, I really hope this helps you. The article was very good (sorry about the extensive edits, its a habit now!), in fact it was to a such a good-standard of quality I would love you to write something for Pie (my international young people's magazine), all the details to contact me are there.

Again, I hope this helps and keep up the good writing.
-Ben