z

Young Writers Society


Internet Activism and Arab Revolution



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Gender: None specified
Points: 1040
Reviews: 4
Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:04 am
parasdahal says...



In December 17, 2010 a young Tunisian Mohammed Bouazizi self-immolated against his government which set the entire Arab world on fire. Over just a period of 6 months since that date, around 19 countries have faced major or minor protest that includes the ousting of President of Egypt and Tunisia, a civil war in Libya and civil uprising in the countries like Syria and Bahrain. As this sudden mass revolution all around the Arab seems a great feat to be achieved over this short time span, it is undeniable that the internet activism has played a great role in it.

Since the beginning of the Arab Revolution, internet has become the most reliable source for communicating among the activists and the outer world. Because of the nearly blacked-out media condition and government imposed censorship, many photographs and videos uploaded online and information spread using social media by numerous activists are the only reliable resource to know what's going on in Arab. In fact, it was social media like Facebook and twitter that acted as the main catalyst of the entire revolution. With these new means of instant communication and interaction, Arab world is being changed into a more tolerable and equitable countries. But the question remains, will it hand the power to armature leaders and not help to compensate the victims? That is left for us to see.
  





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104 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1145
Reviews: 104
Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:37 am
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paintingtherain97 says...



This is a good article, but I think that if you worked on it, it could definitely improve and become an even better article. I think the main difficulty you're having is with organization. In articles, it is usually best to have an introduction, a body paragraph (more than one if necessary), and a conclusion. What you've done isn't bad, stating in one paragraph all of the different revolutions and, in the next, the resources that made that possible. But I think it would definitely be stronger with the intro, body, conclusion format. As for the content, I like that there isn't any fluff or anything and that it is pretty to-the-point. As for grammar, I spotted only a few little things, like the way you referred to the whole region as Arab. It's better to stick to calling it the Middle East. Anyway, I loved the article. A lot of younger people aren't aware of things like this and it's pretty informative. I hope my review helps.
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known..." A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.
  





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40 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 4279
Reviews: 40
Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:16 am
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RoachRedford! says...



Hey there :)

When writing an article, it's always important to ensure you don't assume the reader knows too much about the subject. For instance, I don't know what self-immolated means, (I do now, thanks to Google), and I don't think many people would. I get the pun in the opening line, but when you're talking about people lighting themselves on fire, maybe humour can be put aside. Also, I think if you could just flesh out the information you give, like naming the presidents that have be outed.

When we write historical investigations in history, we use the TEEL method to construct paragraphs.
It stands for;
T - Topic sentence: sums up what your paragraph is about.
E - Example: an example that shows what you are talking about.
E - Explain: a description and linking of the topic to the example, why it matters and what it means.
L - Link: link the paragraph back to the topic.

Try writing another article with that format and PM me when you're done. Good work, and a very interesting topic!
Well done.
It's not the fall that kills you.

GENERATION 31: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 1040
Reviews: 4
Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:18 pm
parasdahal says...



Wow I'm blown away by your reviews. Those are more than help to me and next time, no doubt I'll consider your suggestions. Yeah, lack of organization was a problem to me, and I think I will work hard with that. And it was also very stupid of me to write those technical words and confuse the readers.

Regarding the content, I just pasted the article that wasn't finished and was having a lot of problem with. But I am way much inspired now and I will keep writing better articles. Thanks for the review, it is very very helpful. :D
  








For in everything it is no easy task to find the middle ... anyone can get angry—that is easy—or give or spend money; but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive, and in the right way, that is not for everyone, nor is it easy; wherefore goodness is both rare and laudable and noble.
— Aristotle