Young Writers Society

Sunday 24/10/10
3:02 P.M

I went to the ocean today.

It was just as rewarding as I thought it would be.

Brendon and his friend were going to catch some paua on the peninsula, and I decided to stay on one of the hills while I was waiting.
I wanted to soak up some of the beautiful scenery around me and just be with the mountains, the water and the wind for a while.

And so I did.

(Just then it was another aftershock. Quite a big one. I can still feel the adrenaline pumping in my legs and arms. I kind of like it.)

I sat there on a rock, and I looked up to the sky.
Up into the clouds.

The sun was shining so I couldn’t focus my eyes on the sky for a very long time before I got blinded. But what I saw, during that short time, was the great mystery.

You know what I’m talking about don’t you?

I’m talking about the origin of life.
The perfection and magnificence that life consist of.
The Source if you like.

In my mind for a millisecond, I zoomed out, from where I was sitting, on that rock, somewhere in Christchurch, in the country New Zealand, on the Planet we call Earth, which belongs in a galaxy, that we call the Milky Way, which in turn was born through the very womb of the almighty Universe.

And that’s where we belong.
We belong to everything.
And everything belongs to us.

Our life here in this place, we call the universe, is endless.
We can never die, we can only change shape.
There is nothing to fear.

I zoomed back out again. And I could see and understand, that, of which I am speaking about.

Everything is a reflection of everything.

I snapped out of my inner vision quickly.
And I looked around.

I wanted to spend 10 minutes of just feeling. Just touching.
So I did.

I lied down, on the ground, and I started to touch a straw of grass.
My whole awareness was in my fingertips.

My mind wandered off a couple of times thinking things like
“I wonder how many people die everyday, who have never really felt the sensation of a straw sliding through their fingers?”
I caught myself thinking and consciously went back to being present.

As I was lying there in the grass, seeing and feeling, the true essences of nature, it also hit me how perfect everything is.
Every straw of grass, every flower, every bee is the result of perfect creation and manifestation. I picked up a flower and looked at it. Looked at the shape.
What I saw was myself looking into my own eyes.

I looked up, at the sun, and I saw the same thing.

I felt that,

This force, that is the creator of all things, that is within me, as well as within you.
It is perfect. It knows what it is doing.

The world consists of two things; Destruction and Creation.

We need to accept both of them.

They need to be in balance.
Most importantly, we need to see these two forces within ourselves.
We need to identify how they are playing out in our lives and also realise that for every time something is destroyed, there, right there, is your opportunity to create something even more fulfilling.
To create something, that will take you to the next level.

I feel a peace inside of me.
A gentle tingling in my stomach.

The world is unveiling itself in front of my eyes.
There is no reason to look for mystery and magic in the stars.
When it’s right there, in front of your eyes.

Or even better.

Right there within your beautiful heart.
You don’t need to go anywhere, you don’t need to do anything.

Just let your breath show you the way.

May I ask the purpose of the bracketted part? I found it kind of disrupted the flow of the story a little bit. You have a good use of words, but overall I think you coudl do a bit better. It has great potential to be something- you can make it that great if you balance quality and quantity. I know this seems a bit vague, but I've got a headache lol. However you have great potential to write a great story. Keep up the good work.

Hello, Chulel.
When I write my diary entries, I just write what comes to mind, just a stream of my consciousness. I understand that this is your diary entry, too, but I don't like how choppy it is. If you want to turn it into an article, I think it should be more in paragraph form. I think that's what 567ajt was trying to say, "It has great potential to be something--you can make it that great if you balance quality and quantity." You do have quality sentences. I can't find anything wrong with them. I would just prefer to read them as paragraphs.