Young Writers Society

In our modern day society, with the invention and development of new technologies and various examples of mass media, the world has become a closely connected society through interaction and communication. But before being part of a large and interglobal society, human beings are members of smaller groups which shape them into the future roles they are to take up.
Such groups are the family and peer groups without which an individual is likely to struggle.

Communication - being the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions or information by speech, writing or signs etc. - is a very important factor when talking of family and peer-group life. Without this, individuals in these groups will be in constant conflict. With the arrival of television since the 50s, sociological reports have been made and have shown the rise in different conflicts that were very rare before the arrival of 'the box'. This is one example of television being a factor of destruction in the communication of families and friends.

Another limitation is that television often broadcasts certain shows that affect the behaviour of members in a family.
For example, shows in which teenagers are stop talking to the rest of the family may affect teenaged viewers and influence them into thinking that this is normal. Therefore they too, gradually reduce communication with their families.

However, television has helped families and friends to come together and communicate through shows that teach people to assemble with the people they love. They teach parents how to help their children and visa versa. They also aid people who are looking for friends and advise kids into doing the right thing.
This shows another influence of television on communication between friends and amongst the family.

Also, in many families, where being all together is very important, people decided to spend some quality time watching T.V, without any arguments concerning which show or channel to watch. These moments aid communication amongst family member, help shape an individual in society and also avoid arguments of any kind.

To conclude, television has many advantages, as well as disadvantages but in the end, all depends on discipline and how various members of a family or peer group have been raised. Television itself cannot affect (negatively) communication amongst people in a group but is the first step towards misunderstandings because people allow themselves to be negatively influenced and add their own pinch of enemies of communication.

This sounds amazing! Your writing is really good and I didn't see any errors. If it were an assignment you'd most definitely get an A+. Have an apple and be proud of this!~(:

interglobal

Is that even a word?

Liked it! You definitely had a good lot of reasons why your points were true and I found myself believing what you had said as I read on.
I really don't know what I could say to help you impeove, I just think it's a strong piece of work. A+ Definitely!
Thumbs up and Keep Writing!
~Leopard

Hey there, Mikko! Pink here!

I'll be doing a short review for you today.

In our modern day society, with the invention and development of new technologies and various examples of mass media, the world has become a closely connected society through interaction and communication

Wow, this is a mouthful and seems like you tried to stuff too much information into one tiny sentence. Try to separate this sentence or something.

Such groups are the family and peer groups without which an individual is likely to struggle.

You come off as sounding way too professional and that takes away that 'friendliness' that normally is provided in a column or newspaper. You did mention that this was supposed to attract different ranges of audiences. However, the way it's written, a normal young adult or high school student will become bored after the first half. It's not smooth, it's complicated and edgy to read. If you want to use a vast array for vocabulary then you'll have to skillfully use them in a way which will give off their clear meaning with the context and without looking like a rambling of communication/imparting/telepathy/intricate/complexity. They are not overly ginormous crazy words such as communicability and all but they still need to be used in the right manner or it'll come off as looking like you're trying too hard or have no idea what you're talking about.

For example, shows in which teenagers are stop talking to the rest of the family may affect teenaged viewers and influence them into thinking that this is normal. Therefore they too, gradually reduce communication with their families.

You say for example but the example should be more clarified. "Shows which teenagers are "to" stop talking to the rest of the family..."
I want to know what kind of shows. Also, I think you're over using the word communication here, try some other synonyms.

However, television has helped families and friends to come together and communicate through shows that teach people to assemble with the people they love.

I had to read this sentence about five times because for a second, I had no idea what you were trying to say mostly because of the word 'through' which threw me off.

This shows another influence of television on communication between friends and amongst the family.

I feel like you've said this about three times before. Which I'm sure you haven't, maybe just once but it sticks to your mind and you notice it, you know?

Television itself cannot (negatively) affect communication amongst people in a group but is the first step towards misunderstandings because people allow themselves to be negatively influenced and add their own pinch of enemies of communication.

I switched around the bold part before affect because it sounds better. You don't say affect negatively communication but negatively affect communication, right?
Anyway, the underlined portion was confusing. I don't understand what 'pinch of enemies' even means in correspondence to communication overall.

Now, as for the entirety of this piece. It's has some good arguments but you lack the depth of it and you don't provide any specific examples which would have elevated your arguments. You come off in your writing as too far from the audience and too professional and the way you worded some of the sentences makes it difficult to understand the main point that you're trying to put across. In addition to that, it makes your writing a chore to read instead of something that would flow through your head. I had to make sure I read every single word and understood where you were taking me and analyze what was said before I even finished reading. So, with that said, you might want to take a breather and tone that down and become more realistic with your writing style. Be professional but don't go overboard with complex words and sentence structure, it'll only backfire.

I hope this little review helped some and let me know if you have any further questions.

All the best,
-Shear