The Things I learned before I turned 17
There is no better quality than being true to yourself. If you don’t know who you are, it is quite difficult to espouse yourself. In 8th grade, I took a risk. I went against the advice of every educator in my Jewish yeshiva and elected to enroll in one of the best schools in the country, albeit, a public one.
When I entered 9th grade, I had a mission. I wanted to see if I could retain my Jewish identity and reconcile it with my adventurous self. I channeled passion to creative outlets; I started writing, playing sports, acting, and being involved in my community.
Who is wise? He who learns from every person, as it is said: 'From all those who taught me I gained understanding' (Psalms 119:99)- Ethics of Our Fathers
The mission I signed up for was a team effort; I needed other people to help me find myself. In order to be true to myself, I needed to understand myself, and to do that, I had to see myself in the context of the world (an impossible task in a homogenous Yeshiva). The good thing about my new school is I only had to walk a few steps before I found who I was looking for. School is a rainbow adorned with people of every race, ethnicity, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, and economic status. Some of my favorite memories include chats about our different customs with my Chinese Buddhist friend Marion, sitting at the Hispanic lunch table everyday during junior year, and agreeing with the Vice President of the Muslim Student Association about the mutual strife both politically and in the context of being a religious teenager in a secular world.
I praise my mother for teaching me to never be afraid of opening my mouth, a freedom I have taken advantage of in numerous occasions. I did however learn to open my mind, my eyes, my heart, and my arms. My bookish yeshiva girl self soon befriended two gay peers who after coming out of the closet themselves, helped me unleash my true sociable self to the world. I became an activist and a leader both in my Jewish world and in school, and managed to use this duality to my advantage.
I learned in order to earn respect from people you must first respect them. Nobody likes listening to other people rant about things they don’t care about, like conservatism, and liberalism. As someone who speaks in front of crowds often, I learned to hear these people out. When I do recycle, I thank Rachel from the environmental club for making me care. When I hear “that’s so gay” in the hallway I am the one who tells people not to say that because it’s offensive to gay people. Had I not met Thomas, Eric, or the kind hearted people in the Gay-Straight Alliance I probably wouldn’t have cared or even noticed. My friendships have changed too. I became close with Ariel, a girl with a panic disorder and emotionally abusive parents. I learned to be more empathetic; I was her on-call therapist if she ever needed to talk to someone, and when I was having parental issues she was first on my speed-dial. I learned to appreciate my background, the Jewish education I received, something my public school friends who are becoming more religious wish they had.
Some things never change. I still think a Torah lifestyle is one I want to lead, but I will defend anyone who wants to live another way. I’m a hardcore Zionist, yet I go to Israeli Apartheid week and hear people out; I incite dialogues. I admire the people in my school who wear burkas and turbans despite the fact that they make “less inviting” friends to society, a stereotype I find utterly repulsive and untrue. I rejoice with my vegetarian friends because we both have dietary guidelines we follow that are both satisfied with the numerous Kosher-vegetarian restaurants New York City has to offer. Our favorite: Indian.
I have swallowed my pride long ago. I will ask anybody for help. I will talk to strangers (I blame my mother for not scolding me for this). I will skip down the hallways in my modest clothing, or run down them in the newest fashion trend I made up (like sporting a 50s style bob when I donated a foot of hair to children with cancer). I always argued with my peers, but now I can agree to disagree; religion and politics are never off limits.
I learned to make sure when I say yes to someone else I am not saying no to myself. I learned that with every decline for a hangout over the Sabbath, an offer should be made to schedule alternate plans. I dance in the park when people are watching (fine, attempt to). I pick the latest adventures: an LGBT Purim Party, museums, old forts, rock climbing, parks, giving cookies out to people in Times Square…
I learned the delicate balance between work and friendship. While staying up video chatting when I have a term paper due is a bad idea, when a friend is having a crisis, I delay my homework for an hour or two to lend an ear and some insight.
I learned that as long as you respect yourself it doesn’t matter what people think. I turn the other cheek if I am ever subject to anti-Semitic remarks, insulted about my studious nature, or vertically challenged stature—some people are just insecure or ignorant.
I learned in order to get what I want I have to be my own advocate. I sold myself to acquire a research internship, become the NY Jewish Student Union Coordinator, and plan to use this zeal to make the case for Israel when I get to college.
But most of all, I learned to be thankful for who I am. I plan to be happy wherever I end up, and make a positive difference in this world using whatever resources I have. I challenge you to throw me the world, and I affirm to throw it back at you, affected, inspired, and more fabulous.
Gender:
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