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The greatest challenge facing my generation.



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Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:26 am
dolwright says...



This is an essay I wrote for a competition, the topic is " What will be the greatest challenge facing your generation over the next decade? Enjoy :)

The Economic downturns, political crisis and worldwide environmental degradation are only a minor threat in the face of the challenge of having a generation with a closed mind. A generation crippled and stagnated, with the inability to accommodate new concepts and to find new answers.

The human identity can be viewed as being made up of the body and the mind. The mind itself is the factory where great destinies are produced and is capable of endless possibilities if put to right use. Every achievement, act or doing had its origin in the mind. But unfortunately, the youths in my generation have had their minds dulled and have indeed lost their identity; they are satisfied with being complacent.The number of individuals with a lower than average IQ is on the increase daily; there's a dominant conception that being gifted or creative is measured by a high IQ; this intelligence scale holds true in the sense that someone who has a low IQ has a lower potential of becoming creative, innovative or revolutionary. In the educational curriculum in our schools today, be that elementary, high school, or college, little attention is given to creativity or innovation. This closes the minds of the students and thus their ability to think abstractly.
Adolf Hitler, in his youth, had wanted to become an artist, but his mind was exposed to extreme political ideas that led him to become one of 20th century most powerful dictators. He introduced the holocaust system that saw to the death and destruction of many Jews.
Oppositely, Martin Luther king Jr.,was in his youth, exposed to influences that made him to develop a strong attitude against racism and segregation. He became a symbol of revolution and freedom in his generation.
The conditions of our mind's now is what determines if we later become agents of change or destruction over the next decade.The environmental influences in which the youths today are exposed to will determine the future of that generation in ten years time.

The low level of illiteracy and the lackadaisical attitude of the youth today towards education is a major threat to the growth and development of a nation's economy. A Country affected by this stands the risk of breeding a new generation whose minds are closed to change and innovation. The present situation of violence and terrorism in Northern Nigeria, where the young ones are being harnessed as weapons of mass destruction would not have surfaced if they were enlightened and educated.

In the Bible, it was recorded that the tower of Babel was built by a group of primitive men who refused to be limited by the lack of modern equipment and civilization. They were men of strong minds and even God acknowledged that nothing they propose to do will now be impossible for them. Likewise, in our generation today, new records can be broken, perceived unattainable heights can be reached, if practical efforts are made in grooming the present generation in the right state of mind. The lack of originality of today's youth is a problem that if not checked will be amplified in the next ten years.

There is no doubt that the youths in my generation today are the future leaders of tomorrow. They are a key factor to improvement, change and growth in the worlds' economy. Their minds should therefore be harnessed in a productive manner. If this is done, my country Nigeria and the world at large would be given the opportunity of building a team of qualified and positive minded intellectuals capable of bringing her into an unprecedented realm of prosperity.

NOTE TO THE READER: The present situation in Northern Nigeria is a religious crisis where extremist ideas are being forced on the minds of young ones and they are being used as weapons to lead riots and raids against those groups that do not belong to their religious sect. This situation has become a topic of national nuisance for the government of Nigeria.[url]http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post897990.html#p897990
Last edited by dolwright on Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:07 am, edited 5 times in total.
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your word is a weapon, either of destruction or re-construction, whatever you make of it,
It's your choice.'
  





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Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:01 am
shiney1 says...



**If I am missing something, please let me know :)

This is not bad at all. It is pretty in-depth while not getting to into it that you can't change from one main point to the next.

1)But, being Nigerian myself, I didn't really find a connection in this essay. I had thought that you were talking about the American youth at first, until I read the bottom. Maybe you should put that info at the top of your entry here.

2)And maybe you could use some Nigerian leaders in your examples if you could do so properly. Hitler and Martin Luther are great and all, but maybe something close to home would do better.

3) As I stated before, I couldn't really connect this...I do agree that youths are growing more complacent and laid back as time goes on, but the way you described it made me think more of the American youth than any other youth, much less Nigeria. Maybe you can expand on that or modify it somehow? I am not sure, but it didn't really feel..."accurate" to me, what with the subject group and all.

But maybe I'm wrong? Sorry, I just read it with the knowledge of what I know about the the Nigerian background, traditions, educational standards, whatever you want to call it.

But it isn't bad :)
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Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:37 am
dolwright says...



Thank you shiney, on the issue of it not addressing the Nigerian youth, I think the statistics that show the high level of illiteracy, the number of youths that are unemployed, idle and constituting national nuisance for the country, either because they are under-skilled or they lack the appropriate motivation to engage in anything positive is relevant in Nigeria today.
secondly, I did my research and I couldn't find a Nigerian leader who had a clear track record and would be appropriate in explaining my point. But notwithstanding, If you have any, please do not hesitate to tell me.
I think this essay would be a lot understandable if it is noted that the topic covers a broad spectrum which includes my generation in the world generally, so i think I'm speaking for all youths generally.
Thank you once again.
'when I'm gone, my words will remain...
your word is a weapon, either of destruction or re-construction, whatever you make of it,
It's your choice.'
  





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Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:47 pm
shadowraiki says...



Overall, there was nothing to majorly wrong. However I did notice a few things:

A generation crippled and stagnated, with the inability to accommodate new concepts and to find new answers./quote]
This sentence is an awkward fragment. Here are a few examples as to what you could do:
-- We have become a generation crippled...
-- Throw in a colon at the end of the first sentence
-- That challenge is a generation...

Adolf Hitler, in his youth, had wanted to become an artist, but his mind got exposed to extreme political ideas that led him to become one of 20th century most powerful dictators.

"Got" seems so out of place here, I would change it to 'was'.

So also, in our generation today, new records can be broken, perceived unattainable heights can be reached, if practical efforts are made in grooming the present generation in the right state of mind.

The 'So also' is unnecessary, you can take it out.

Another issue I noticed was the mentioning of IQ. There hasn't been a lot of talk of 'IQ tests' and what not because scientists are still debating whether or not the IQ test actually measures a person's intelligence. This is stretching it a bit far, but IQ doesn't always mean intelligence. I could be making straight A's, yet have a low IQ. To reflect intelligence, you may want to say 'test scores'.

Also, you mention there is a link between intelligence and creativity. Elaborate on that a little more and I think it'll be perfect.
If words are just letters put together, why do we decide on what they mean?

I step away from the grammar to review the story.

I don't do poetry.
  





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Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:33 pm
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MasterGrieves says...



I loved this essay. I really did; it had facts, opinions and chuck full of greatness. Excuse me for saying this, but you have a great mind. I am serious you do. I especially loved how you linked stories, from Hitler to the Bible, together. I also liked your use of structure, and the paragraphs were just the right size for me. No grammatical errors as such, and the punctuation was spot on. Loved every pragraph, loved every sentence, loved every word. In my opinion, flawless. Absolutely amazing. If you don't win that competition, I'll go up to the judges and I'll protest against their decision to not have you win. You have to win; it was way better than anything I've ever done. Good luck- you rock!!!!
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Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:16 pm
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Shakyll says...



This was a good essay. You did very well. I like how you mentioned people like Hitler and Martin Luther, and how you generally introduced real examples instead of going on just speculation. And good job with bringing in stuff from the Bible. Shakyll is impressed.
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Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:35 pm
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dragonlover92 says...



I like this a lot! it explores all the bits it our generation and i really enjoyed reading!
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Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:04 pm
XxMattxX says...



I'll review it, here.
I'll save the space!
I'll keep my promise!
Hahaha!


I actually like doing this sort of stuff.

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