Preface: This is a personal essay I am writing for admissions to university. In this essay I really wanted who I am to come out, and I hope it did. Additionally, it is around 800 words and it should be around 500; any suggestions to cut it down are appreciated. Of course, all constructive criticism is welcome. Happy reading!
The biggest risk I ever took was going to a pizza store on a Friday after school.
Thanks to a mutual friend, James and I found ourselves in Union Square: James with his slice of pepperoni pizza and me sheepishly leafing through a plastic container of overpriced lettuce. My teachers from the solely Jewish, conservative yeshiva I attended for nine years would have scolded me had they known I was entering a non-kosher eatery, and on the eve of the Sabbath of all times!
I was going against everything I had known my entire life, but I felt at the time it was necessary to know what it was like to be a regular teenager by actually experiencing it. I was committed to finding out the truth about what I had been sheltered from for so many years. I came to public school for this very reason… how could I deny myself this opportunity for personal exploration?
Well, I got exactly what I asked for. After talking with James in Starbucks about the fundamentals of religion, its practicality in the modern world, and the current state of Israel in foreign affairs, I had met my match. For the first time, my views were truly questioned and I had to defend both to James and to myself why I believed what I did; the “I was brought up this way” answer was not going to suffice anymore. That was the day when I knew we needed to be friends, for I had never been able to discuss religion, politics, and theory with anyone in such depth before. I would make the friendship work despite our differing views.
Our friendship was blossoming, but I soon had to decide whether it was becoming a rose with thorns or thorns with a rose. One night, the friend I had known so closely told me he was gay; the first gay person I had ever knowingly encountered.
This was no grand revelation on a mountain. A mutual friend had told me in advance so as to lessen the blow, and prevent an overreaction to the news. The painful truth about this time was that I couldn’t accept it. How could someone I liked so much identify himself with something that I learned and thought was immoral? I didn’t think he was any less of a person for being gay, but I still didn’t see how this was a positive thing. How could someone I cared about so deeply have such a flawed moral compass? James’ needle was fine, mine however, wasn’t. How could I pride myself on having such high morals when I was being so judgmental? It wasn’t a matter of validating homosexuality or not, it was me being unnecessarily closed minded to a concept that was new to me, and judging feelings that were part of a person.
I truly learned to understand James and homosexuality in general by spending more time with him and learning about how he felt. I sat in my room pondering and realized that it did not matter. So what if he liked other boys? He was one of the nicest and most selfless people I ever met. He was the same person who had been there for me, who had made me laugh and helped me get through the darkest of days—the days of anxiety over lots of work and little sleep, coping with a friend’s suicide attempt, and not fitting in with many of my classmates. He taught me how to act pragmatically when situations are less than ideal, and that the things that need to get done will get done, for they must. James was the person who had so much admired my personal choices, as I dressed and acted differently from my peers and in that same way I learned to appreciate him being who he is: proud, and fearless in the face of opposition. I was becoming more socially aware, but stopped caring so much about not fitting in; I realized that I, like James, was born to stand out and make a difference.
After accepting James’ sexual orientation, I realized just how critical the other people in my life were about homosexuality. It is unfortunately commonplace to hear homophobic slurs in the hallways. Until meeting James, I never thought anything of it. Now, upon hearing one, I say something--both because it is offensive and because I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. A youth group friend asked me how I was becoming more religious if I had a gay best friend--the two were mutually exclusive in his mind. But for me, this was not at all hypocrisy. By learning to accept people who are different from me and relate to their hardships, I have become a better human being and thus feel closer to the entity that created us all.
But your sentences are too long sometimes.
Gender:
Points: 2046
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