Young Writers Society

Something not working for my life
people telling me all these lies
wasting away, what a suprise
what all alone outside.

The chorus
The sun is shinning, but not for me
the sky is blue, grey to me


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That's just the start and chorus
me and my friend wrote it
and i don't got the whole thing
memorized yet.

This is good, too short to really critque but you should have this part like this:

CHORUS
The sun is shinning, but not for me
the sky is blue, grey to me"

Insted of:

"The chorus
The sun is shinning, but not for me
the sky is blue, grey to me"

Can't wait to read the rest

I liked this I can't wait for u to have the rest of the song on here.*sits on a bench and waits*

Something not working for my life

I think this wou;d be better as "sxomething's not working in my life"; to me personally it reads better.