Young Writers Society

Hi its me again...I seem to be putting a lot of songs in lately huh...lol..
well, heres a new one for you.
She used to know the truth
now its gone, nothing left
only tears, only shame
nothing left to give
Chorus
Shes giving up
shes to tired to
hurt, to go on
well you ought to be
ashamed, Did you care(Did you care)
All her tears are dry
she hasnt any left to cry
she doesnt understand it
She wonders why your gone
What did she ever do to you
(Repeat Chorus 1x)
Shes losing control now
All her angers boiling now
She cant believe youve left her
to cry and weep(cry and weep)
(Repeat Chorus 1x)
Why did you do it
why did you go and
leave her to wonder
(real softly song) shes giving up
nothing left to give
(yell now)she giving up(hold up)
I hope you guys like this one...thanx

Okay, yeah, I can dig the lyrics. Nice work.

But I should suggest just one thing to you. A bridge. It needs a bridge. The same two things ove and over again just with different lyrics sometimes gets pretty boring.. You might as well just make a chorus and a verse and loop it over and over again (that is, if you were to record it). The only reason that I'm really telling you this is because the actual music in a song is more important to me that lyrics.

So, anyway, good lyrics, needs bridge. Later!

Oh yeah, and If ever you get access to any recording equipment, it'd be cool if you posted some of your music on a website. You know, like Pure Volume or somewhere like that. I'd love to hear your band's music.

ohhewwo wrote:Oh yeah, and If ever you get access to any recording equipment, it'd be cool if you posted some of your music on a website. You know, like Pure Volume or somewhere like that. I'd love to hear your band's music.

me and little dreamer will be trying to record at least 15 of our songs and post them somewhere online or on our official site

Thanx for your opinions...and like ashleerox said we are currently trying to get some music together for everyone who wants to hear it...just give us a little time.

i dig it.

what's nice about this is that there's an intrinsic rhythm in the lyrics that most songs loose when you cant actually hear the music.
i also really liked the echo-ing-thing.

if you get it posted, that would ROCK MY SOCKS.

Again Thanx...It should be towards the end of summer before we get any demos going...but ill keep you posted

It's cool, but i agree with ohhewwo- needs a bridge. Whats your site address; i'd love to check it out?