Young Writers Society

This song I wrote in the perspective of a girl who realizes that nothing, no one in this world is innocent , including her loved ones.
Hope you enjoy it!

Verse one:
I was once in a dream; Where no one said good bye
I was a free bird; Anywhere I could fly
I was once so naive; With no cares to get me by
Just plain stupid; I know

Chorus:
I thought I knew where the wind would blow;
I thought I knew what direction we should go;
I thought that the sun will always shine down on us all;
Guess I was wrong; I knew nothing at all

Verse two:
I was once in a dream; Where nothing would go bad;
All at once, it's not a dream; And with you I was mad;
I called you once my dream; Now I see something so sad;
Just plain guileless, I know

Chorus:
I thought I knew where the wind would blow;
I thought I knew what direction we should go;
I thought that the sun will always shine down on us all;
Guess I was wrong; I knew nothing at all

(Guitar solo)
----


What do you think?

i actually really like this! i like the whole point behind it, what you said before the song itself.
The chorus i thought was really nice, and, correct me if I'm wrong, but she seems really sad, and i got that feeling from the song; which is really good.
In 'verse two' you say the word 'dream' quite alot, and I kind of lost the rhythm of it. However it is a song, and the rhythm might change anyway, besides that's just me.
I really like this and keep song-writing!
p.s, loving the title!

Thanks a lot!
Yes, the chorus was supposed to be sad, just like you said.
As for the second verse, I intentionally used the words "dream" as well as "once" in each line.
Thanks for your support, and I promise you'll see more of my work soon.

Hi. I liked this! Just a few bits and bobs where I'd have worded it differently

Verse one:
I was once in a dream; Where no one said good bye
I was a free bird; Anywhere I could fly (this feels a bit funny with the order... I could fly to the sky?
I was (?) so naive; With no cares to get me by (I don't like this, a bit forced.)
Just plain stupid; I know

Chorus:
I thought I knew where the wind would blow;
I thought I knew what direction we should go;
I thought the sun would always/ever/forever shine down on us all;
Guess I was wrong; I knew nothing at all

Verse two:
I was once in a dream; Where nothing (COULD) would go bad;
All at once, it's not a dream; And with you I was mad; (don't like that last bit at all, sounds aukward and made me cringe.)
I called you once (once called you?) my dream; Now I see something so sad;
Just plain guileless, I know

Chorus:
I thought I knew where the wind would blow;
I thought I knew what direction we should go;
I thought that the sun will always shine down on us all;
Guess I was wrong; I knew nothing at all

I like it though. Better than a lot of songs out there!
Keep writing!