Young Writers Society

Love is such a sensitive thing
It leaves you if you’re not too careful
Love’s such a tumultuous sting
It drains you when you get too careless
Over and over
Over and over again
Over and over
Over and over again

~Chorus~
Do what you want
And make the best of it
Do what you want
And shake the least of it
Do what you want
Pull my strings some more
Live how you want
Smother me some more

Over and over
Over and over again
Over and over
Over and over again

Tug at my poor intimate thoughts
And see just how I feel so ashamed
Many needs get taken away
And replaced with so much reckless blame
Over and over
Over and over again
Yes, over and over
Over and over again

(chorus)

Nice song. I like the message about love, although this is kind of short and repetative. I think you should maybe add a few more lines or something so it doesn't feel like it's just the chorus for the most part. I liked your rhyme scheme and everything though. Work on it and keep it up. It's catchy.

Hello! Awesome piece you have!

It took me a minute to figure out what the song was saying. I got it at the beginning, but then I think I found out where I got confused!

Tug at my poor intimate thoughts
And see just how I feel so ashamed
Many needs get taken away
And replaced with so much reckless blame

Particularly the last two lines here, I couldn't quite get why they were there. I couldn't tie it in with the rest. It was as if the song wasn't quite over, that there was another verse coming to clear things up for me.

But that's my only complaint really! There doesn't seem to be enough meat to the song. I understand that the message is how unpredictable love can be, but the way it's expressed doesn't quite satisfy me as a listener. It was getting somewhere at first, until that verse I pointed out. My brain did somersaults and couldn't quite figure it out.

I really like your chorus. It's catchy! The parallelism is used effectively, in my opinion, and it ties well with the message. I hope all the overs don't get annoying. I can't very well hear it, so I can't properly criticize whether or not they're good or bad. Many good songs have repetition, so it's probably fine! Keep an eye (ear?) on it.

So yeah. The repetition seems to outweight the verses, which I see as the meat/heart of the song. I'd prefer to see it the other way around, but maybe not everyone does. Anyhoot, considering the only thing I had to pick on was structure, good work! Do edit and keep it!

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!