Young Writers Society

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So far so good, although I see that it's not quite done (bridge cough cough). I like the "message" (for lack of a better word) in this. I do have to say that the title's a little obvious - as soon as I saw it I was like, "and this must be about someone who used to be in love but now is so far from caring for the other person that they don't even remember their name anymore..."

It took me a few tries to understand the line "they have made me what I ain't," but once I got it I liked it. I mean, usually we talk about things making us what we ARE, which is what confused me here, but I like the idea: We are not our mistakes. The only criticism I have to make is "they have" - I think just "they've" would fit the dialect of the song better. Someone who's using "ain't" is probably not being all proper and saying "they have."

But other than that, good job - although I admit I'd have to hear a tune to decide for certain whether or not I like the song.

~Blue

Thanks! Love the "They've" suggestion. It sounds much better that way. I played with that line a lot to get it to fit so now I really like it! Thanks!