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Young Writers Society


Critiques, Anyone?



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245 Reviews



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Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:20 pm
Firearris says...



Hi ^_^ I don't like part 1 as much as 2, but you need 1 to understand 2. It was a contest entry :razz:


part 1: topic25786.html

Part 2: topic25787.html


There!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard appears "We have weasels now!"
[Firearris] 10:45 pm: askes the guard for the weasel!
[Griffinkeeper] 10:45 pm: The guard gives Firearris the Weasel.
[Firearris] 10:46 pm: aquires the weasel and renames it "Cat"

Take that, Lumi.





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Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:40 pm
christy says...



    It would be greatly appreciated if you would look at this for me. I really like your review style. I'll definitely make some time to look at some of you work.





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Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:10 am
JFW1415 says...



Wow; I went from nothing to review to 19 pieces plus anything of gryfs, all in one day! Woot! ;P

Feel free to post anything else. I will get to it, and I want more... ;P

Also, this will take me awhile. I take 1/2 hour to one hour per review, unless I just feel it needs a quick overall comment. Be patient, but do expect something soon.

~JFW1415





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Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:43 pm
cmarie159 says...



I would love it if you reviewed "And Its Quite Lovely". When you get time =] thanks.





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Thu May 01, 2008 11:53 pm
OverEasy says...



Hello!


Got another one for you, it's a really short prologue, but here's the link. (Don't worry dear it's not a poem *giggle*)

topic29591.html


Please and Thank You!

OverEasy
Life is for living.





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Fri May 02, 2008 5:49 pm
Alainna says...



Hi there Jen.

I was just wondering if you could check this out :

topic29530.html

Sorry about the length!

Thanks so much!

Alainna
xxx
Sanity is for the unimaginative.

Got YWS?





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196 Reviews



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Mon May 05, 2008 10:46 pm
OverEasy says...



First chapter dearie

topic29760.html

Be as harsh as possible. I want this one to turn out good. I might try to get it published. Lol


Please and Thank You

OverEasy
Life is for living.





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Wed May 07, 2008 8:25 pm
Myles Wong says...



Chapter one: topic28870.html
Chapter two: topic29024.html
Chapter three: topic29678.html

I notice your "chapter 23" rule but chapter two has completely different characters and setting from chapter one and three and It'd be helpful if you could look at 3 after 1. I'm looking to hear about
* Tense changes: I try to only use this in Sothna's chapters - it's in an "interview" sort of format and I imagine him as the persona who would change the way he's talking half way through - but I'm worried I may be doing it too much.
* Grammar and spelling: I think I'm all right at avoiding these mistakes. Prove me wrong at all costs.
* Flow: Slightly worried about this - What sort of flow are you supposed to have in an interview?
* Anything else thatt's wrong with the story: Please point out anything that's wrong so I can a) change it, b) point out why it's there.
Take a look when you have time, thanks muchly.
But enough about me, what do YOU think about me?





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438 Reviews



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Wed May 07, 2008 9:00 pm
JFW1415 says...



Myles Wong wrote:I notice your "chapter 23" rule but chapter two has completely different characters and setting from chapter one and three and It'd be helpful if you could look at 3 after 1.


That just means don't tell me to start in the middle of the story. I'm perfectly happy to start at chapter one and follow you 'til the end, as long as you poke me often with reminders. :wink:

I'll get to this soon. My list looks to be clearing up, just some long stuff in Advanced Critiques. I'll let you all know when I've finally caught up. I kind of got ahead of myself and had nearly 40 items - possibly more - waiting. I had links in word documents, NotePad documents, on here, in PMs...it was getting ridiculous. But it was just April Vacation week, and I did a ton!

I have reached my goal of four stars. My new one is five stars (about 25 more reviews) by June 6, when I'll have been a member for a year. I wasn't active for the better part of the year, so maybe I'll get five red by the end of my second, since I plan to be on as much as I have been lately?

~JFW1415





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Sat May 17, 2008 4:25 am
AWritersFantasy says...



Caelestis: Keeper's Throne is a fantasy fiction story/novel I'm working on. It's actually a sequel to my Child of Ashes: Outcast story I was writing, but I decided to work on the sequel as a way to get more background information and ideas for the first story. I only have one chapter up of this story, but I may (or may not, depends) have another chapter up soon. This story doesn't have any reviews yet (at least as of this post), so anything you can give would be appreciated.





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Sat May 17, 2008 11:50 pm
Conrad Rice says...



Hey, its me. Thankfully, its something new this time. Two somethings in fact. Dandelion Season in the Other Fiction forum and All This But Mere Perceptions in the Science Fiction forum. If you need a review look me up. I owe you about a million. :)
Garrus Vakarian is my homeboy.





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438 Reviews



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Sun May 18, 2008 5:14 pm
JFW1415 says...



Hey guys!

It seems I'm falling pretty behind in my critiquing, as well as my writing. I've been struggling to catch up, but I never can.

So, I'm not accepting requests at the moment. I'll catch up with this and my writing, and then open this once more.

Anyone waiting for a critique, poke me until I remember. :wink: And expect quite a wait...but I will get to it! And hopefully it will help.

Maybe this is good? You're supposed to put something away for a while before editing, so this will encourage you to do so.

Eh, I'm just trying to find the silver lining. :roll:

Sorry!

~JFW1415





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438 Reviews



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Sat Jun 07, 2008 4:04 pm
JFW1415 says...



I'm reopened! Now as an Instructor!

Send in those requests!

~JFW1415





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Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:37 pm
Incandescence says...



topic31235.html

That should be the story.
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson





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Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:36 pm
Emerson says...



Hullo love! Either because I love you, or because you are pestering me [your take!] I'm here to request things.

They have many comments, but I would still appreciate all of your thoughts.

God Still Loves You
Chance of Snow


Thank you, darling. You're wonderful.
β€œIt's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo








I wouldn't think "impossible" was even in your vocabulary.
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