It was raining, dark, damp, cold and raining. I know, happy memories are meant to take place in the sun. People are supposed to be climbing up a hill for a picnic, they’re meant to lean against a tree and the man should softly rub his wife/girlfriends arm just below her shoulder as she turns and curls up close to his body. Then they should smile. Well fuck that, in my happy memory it’s raining, the sun is hidden behind dark clouds and we’re both wrapped up warm in thick jumpers and raincoats. Oh, and she punches me in the chest. Yeah, this is my happy memory. What of it?
I smile as I hand over my card, the shop assistant, doesn’t smile back and I seethe a little inside. I know it shouldn’t, but impoliteness just really gets my back up. I get my card back and leave the shop, coming out onto a quiet high street in the middle of the day.
“Derek,” I turn, see her and pretend I haven’t, walking quickly on towards the tram stop.
She punches me in the chest and I make some strange, gruff noise and fall back a little.
“Come on you pansy,” she laughs. A drop of rain falls from the top of her hood and onto her nose. She doesn’t notice.
I get up and lift my hands as if we were about to box. She jumps up and down, her heavy bag clanging from the pots and pans she was carrying to make our meal that night. Then she slips, her foot flying straight into the air.
She lands on her bum and sits there, arms folded like a spoilt child told she could have no more sweets. While I'm lifting her up I notice that her arse is covered in mud.
“You look like you’ve shat yourself.” I say.
“You’re a sexist pig.” She retorts, running forward and talking to the girls walking in front, the rain still falling.
“Derek” It was louder this time, more forceful. I don’t turn. A hand on my shoulder, it’s over, I have to talk. I have no choice.
A coffee shop is the chosen destination, it seems that that’s is where our generation have all our serious conversations. Too much watching repeats of friends straight from school I think. Anyway, we both hate coffee so I buy two hot chocolates and put them down at the table near the window.
“It’s good to see you Derek, I haven’t seen you since…” The silence is almost ridiculous in it’s appropriate placement. She always loved drama; she always knew she wasn’t going to finish her sentence. God she pisses me off.
So that was the happy memory, it is closely followed by unhappy memories, but I felt I should let you know that it was good for a while. In brief, we got together around the fire that night. Sounds like a good memory I guess, making out by a campfire, I suppose it was, but it acts like a bumper. Things quickly got sour. We decided to go into her tent and have some privacy but her friend Helen came in just as we were about to… well anyway I suggested my tent and, because he was a decent human being, my friend stayed out of our way. I always hated Helen.
It wasn’t great if I’m honest. It was too cold to take of our clothes, I tried to feel her breasts, but her walking coat and what must have been about three thick jumpers made that close to impossible. It is a testament to my teenage horniness that I was able to, as it were, rise to the occasion. Anyway with us both of us having as many clothes on as you can in that situation, it was far from a sexy occasion and I somehow managed to have sex with someone with out even seeing her boobs. I left the tent with a smile on my face all the same.
Helen smiled at me at me and grabbed my hand. “How are you doing Derek?” She said it in that very sincere totally insincere way. Her eyes were wide and, oh so very honest.
“Fine” I mumbled. I sipped my hot chocolate it was too hot and I burned my tongue. I was starting to get annoyed.
“It wasn’t your fault.” She said squeezing my hand
“I know.” I just about stopped myself saying 'it was yours.'
The next morning, she gives me her pans to carry.
“You’re my boyfriend, now. You’ve got to carry them, it’s your job.” I was her boyfriend I thought to myself and smiled.
“Course it is” I say, kissing her. The sun is shining. We walk a little apart from our group, talking all day. I can hardly stop smiling.
We reach the top of the hill we’d been climbing, standing with the rest of the group talking. I reach round her hip and softly grabbed her bum. She gives a little jump up and giggles. Helen turns looking at us sharply
“Look, I know you’ve never believed me, but she wasn’t a nice person Derek”
“Whatever, it doesn’t really matter now does it?. “
“Why don’t you smile for once Helen?” I ask. Now I can only imagine how smug I looked.
“Fuck off.” She storms off
“I tried to stop them."
“Look I’ve got to go Helen.”
Helen turns around and storms back towards us, "for god’s sake you’ve got a fucking…” the pause for the dramatic effect was ridiculous, she was ridiculous.
I get up and leave, I bump in to some guy as I walk towards the tram.
“…boyfriend” the word rings in my head as I see Helen sitting alone in a coffee shop with two drinks on her table. Some guy hits into me as I look at her sitting alone. I walk on towards the shops, deciding I needed some new happy memories.
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