I liked this a lot. It reminded me of The Raven meets American Psycho. I found the narrator quite humorous, particularly in the bit involving sex with the corpse.
(upon request)
:ahem:
Well, over all, I enjoyed it. And yes...the narrator was rather comical.
But there were a few things....
1. Indent! Indent! Indent!
2. "As I noticed the dark, musty shadows in the scullery undulating, my heightened sense of fear and adrenaline reached its apex." I didn't really get the musty shadows part...I'm not sure...it may just be me.
3."I leapt to my feet, now almost certain I had heard the moa—dongggg dongggg—ning. I whirled around, heart racing (thud thud, thud thud) and breathed, for the clock had only struck 1." Shouldn't the "dongggg"s be "dooongs"?
Okay, I seriously am making no sense here...or am I? I don't know. But that's all I had to say about this. Usually in stories where there's little to no dialogue (even in a first person story) the story can be dead and just kind of stay on the surface. But the narrator here was very realistic and not dead at all,lol.
Overall--good work.
Uhm...Brad, you officially creep me out. But that's OK...I have to agree with everyone else. It was really funny. Especially the first two paragraphs...the whole sort of goth thing really shows throughout the piece.
Interesting...
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.
I thought this was really funny too. Written in an amusing style, the narrator is lively and great to listen (read) and really grabs your attention all the way through. I've never read any of your stories before, but if they are all like this, you should post/write more.
Although it was a little hard to understand, this piece was quite funny and... let's say interesting lol. This is the story I've come across by you, and I did enjoy it.
ohhhhhkayyyyy...
that was kinda wierd, I'm glad I'm not called vera or I would be REALLY freaked.
*looks over her sholder just in case*
okay, no ones there, but I'm still freaked.
It was a cool story though.
~blue~
To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. – William Blake
I was lying in bed, watching the stars and i thought, 'where the hell is the ceiling?'
I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live? — Homer Simpson
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Reviews: 915