Young Writers Society

i hurt myself today, to see if i still feel, i focused on the pain, the only thing that's real...

Wow i thought, it's real windy up here
I looked over the edge of the balcony, the cars looked like toys.
We're really high up, this is going to hurt
-It's going to hurt less than living- they said, -much less-
They we're right, as always, it will hurt much less.
I climbed carefully over the balcony edge, unstedy in the strong wind.
-The others don't understand us, they can't see how there can one body and many minds-
I nodded my head. They were right, of course they were right, no one understands us.
All that was left to do now was jump.

i still feel, i focused...

I watched with facination as the blood welled up from the cut i had made on my wrist and ran
down my arm.
I could it dripping to the floor in the silence of the flat.
It wasnt the terrifing scilence that my father eluded, it was peaceful, beconing.
My father was due home in an hour but by then it would be too late.
He could do whatever he liked with my body then because i won't be there.
I'll be free, free at last, free, free at l-

today, to see if i still feel...

i feel...nothing. Ever since He told me he was getting back with his wife, I've felt completely numb.
It started in my hands, my right one first. I thought it was because i had slaped him so hard, but
then i couldn't feel my left hand either. How do you explain that?

i focused on the pain, the only thing...

I felt lightheaded, like how you feel after you give blood, but more intenense.
So I lay down.
I'm going to ruin my dress
How can i think about my dress at a time like this?
But i was right, the stain is never going to come out...

I hurt myself today...

I jumped.
I screamed, inside my head but to us it's just as loud.
I'm sorry, we yelled, our many voices as one, but you wern't ready for us, you couldn't possibly understand, one body, many minds...

to see if i still feel, i

Soon my whole body was numb. It wasn't the type of numb where you can't feel anything, it was
the type of numb where you can't feel anything. Joy, happiness, sadness, love... i felt no emotion.
But I could feel pain. That's the only reason I'm sure I'm still alive. For all i know i could be like that guy out of the sixth sense, the shock of Him leaving me could have killed me but i didn't realise...
So I cut myself, just a little, to make sure I'm still here.
I hurt myself today, to see if i still feel,
I focused on the pain,

the only thing that's real...



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Feel free to criticize, it's better than nothing!
Thanks

Wow... I'm not at all sure how to respond to this. The flow was interesting, it kept me reading. But besides that, my mind is still in a bit of a whirl. I'm not even really sure what was going on. Was this more than one person? Or just the one? I mean, I know the person was schizo, but was there another person besides that?

It was freaky and confusing, but the descprition kept me there. Good job.

Thanks,
yeah, there was more than one person there, soo....
anyways, thanks for the comments, as tescos says, every little helps!


Have a nice day
~blue~

Decent tribute to Mr. Reznor's work but a smidge too confusing. There were two people? Literally or metaphorically?

there were actually three people. one jumped off a building, one slit her wrists, the other practiced self harm.

P.S. who's Mr. Reznor?


have a nice day
~blue~

Aaaaah I get it now!

WHO'S MR. RENZOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate not knowing things *sobs with dispair*

~blue~

Trent Reznor, lead singer of Nine Inch Nails who wrote the song "Hurt" which you reference throughout this story. The late great Johnny Cash also did a cover.

ohhhhhhhhhhh, i only heard the Johnny Cash version, it was in the background in on of the Smallville episodes and it stuck in my head.


~blue~