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Young Writers Society


Hourglass...new one, finally!



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162 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 162
Sun Mar 13, 2005 7:01 am
nickelpickle says...



It was interesting... *turns laptop upside down* nope that didnt help..im a bit confused, but it kept me reading..it needs more...gret writing though:)
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 1160
Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:17 am
Elizabeth says...



Favor for a favor great job Sam... i am too tired to point out mistakes or nything but.. otherwise good....

MONKEYS!!!
  





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323 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 323
Mon Mar 14, 2005 11:23 pm
hekategirl says...



This isn't my favorite of the Hourglasses, but its nice. For some reason I don't like it when you use 'Tis' I don't why though. And this one was a tad confusing like when you write this:

I’m Thomas. What’s your name?” He absentmindedly asks, his attention mostly focused on George.

“I’m Luke.” Thomas’s head jerks upward.

“You’re the boy who…” He makes the motion of firing a gun, with a little ‘bang’ in it for dramitazation effects. I look down, uncomfortable.

“Yes.” Now, apparently unimpressed, he turns back to the worm.

“That mussa been scary.”


Huh???? you'll proably clear that up in the next chapters but it was a little confusing to read with out any backround.
  








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