anyhoo, i luffed it all. S'funny. It is quite like Douglas Adams' work, which is a good thing..cause he's ace!
"Sometimes we see a cloud that's dragonish,
A vapour sometimes like a bear or lion,
A towered citadel, a pendant rock,
A forked mountain, or blue promontory,
With trees upon't that nod unto the world,And mock our eyes with air.."
And another ‘chapter’. I doubt there will be much more after this one…
All I need to do is figure out how to bring this to a conclusion…
‘Look, Ahveen… do you actually have any clothes to buy here?’ Chris asked impatiently.
‘There is so much… more… than clothes here. Enlightment… spiritual happiness… ever lasting peace…’ Ahveen whispered impressively, her eyes alight with joy.
‘But no clothes?’
‘Well…’ she began, the mysticism disappearing from her voice ‘No, but-‘
‘Right. Good. As long as that’s clear. Ted, we’re leaving.’
Ted began to follow Chris, still in the daydream he had been playing his hero daydream in his mind. Now it was Ahveen he rescued. But she had larger boobs. And less clothes. And hair that didn’t seem to be the mortal enemy of physics.
Ahveen looked momentarily shocked as the du began to leave, than ran – rather impressively, given her robe like clothes – to block the door.
‘You must not go! Stay! Here!’ she cried hastily.
‘Look – crazy women – get out of our way. Or else.’ Chris said, his eyes raised to look up at Ahveen, his voice quiet.
‘Or else what?’
‘I shall have Ted bit you. And I would be not at all surprised if you then caught rabies.’
‘Why buy clothes? You can have much more her! Heavenly pleasures! An endless supply of happiness!’ Ahveen cried, desperate to keep her two visitors.
‘Look, we want a clothes shop, not a brothel. Now please, get out of our way.’
Ted thought that Ahveen had sounded quite lonely, but followed Chris out the shop regardless. He gave the sagging Ahveen an apologetic look, as he left. The women shook her head. Either their departure saddened her greatly; or else she was vaguely offended at being called a prostitute – though why anyone would be offended at being called a prostitute Ted could not gather.
Many people had suggested that Ted would end up being a prostitute, and – not knowing the finer details of what exactly it was that they did – he had rather unfortunately proudly claimed that was what he wanted to be when he was older during his career options interview.
As they left the beautiful room, and once again found themselves in the run down road, Ted spotted something just down the street…
‘Hey! Chris – look over there!’ he cried, pointing to the object of interest.
‘Ted.’ Chris said in an exasperated voice, ‘I’ve told you before. Stop pointing out every cat you see. It’s annoying.’
‘No Chris. It’s not a cat this time. Look!’
Sighing, Chris glared in the direction of the object as though hoping to scare it into non-existence.
Then he stopped. Looked again. Rubbed his eyes.
There was another clothes shop a little way down the road… one he could swear wasn’t there early…
And the shop’s sign had all the grammar of a deranged and chronically illiterate armadillo...
Sorry, haven't read all of it, only the first section. But I actually really enjoyed it.
I'd be happy to read more and properly critique it, if you'd care to remind me. Just PM me before Tuesday and I will.
Yeah, that was a good story.
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