Young Writers Society

It's a little short. Feedback please

Revenge

My one mission.
I stand here, the gun in my hand, ready to exact the revenge I deserve to give. The metal feels cold, icy to the touch. I can feel my whole body trembling.

I can feel my body willing my finger to pull, get it over with, end it. Do I have the will? The strength? Do I want to do this? Is it right? Is it my right to decide the fate of a life?

No, I think. Stop questioning yourself. It is your mission. Your revenge. You have to do it.

I knew I would doubt myself. I knew I would break down like this. I knew I would cry, not be able to do it. But I must. It is my mission. I must complete it. My mission.

I tried again.

Again, I failed.

I fell to my knees. Still pointing the gun, feeling the cold trigger on my sweaty finger. Just pull, my mind kept saying. No! stop, it would say, like a confused teenager deciding what to wear to a date.

I’ve almost done it. I just felt the trigger click where I was exerting pressure on it. I can do it. My mission. I can complete it. I can do it.

I feel it slipping back. With my last strength- I pull. A sound! Then…then… Darkness……….. I…have….Reven…g…..e…!



Again, short, but I didn't want to drag it out and keep repeating myself.

intresting
But what led to this explain please and it too short

Your story was short, rense, gripping and very confuseing. It sounds a little bit like he end of a story, more than the whole thing. Perhaps you could make a prequal?

Oh, and was He/she killing themselves? or someone else?

It's very bland and uninteresting. At the very least, you should have some sort of motive for why your character did what he did.

Its good, but I would of loved to know what happened before and why it happened.