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An Unbelievable Conversation



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Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:46 pm
Elizabeth says...



I read some jokes earlier which I put into here. It's just a random 10 minute work. It's funny though, in my opinion, please read it.

An Unbelievable Conversation
By Elizabeth Mathers

“Are you the man that performed an autopsy on my Aunt Cathy?” asked a thin man in a black suit. He walked up to a man in a white coat with a surgical mask on his face.
“Yes sir.”
“Was she alive when you did this?”
The man in the white coat turned and began to walk to the other end of the room. The man in the black suit ran up to him.
“Sorry, I didn’t introduce myself, I am Cathy Gannet’s nephew, Randy Gannet, I heard that she died last night and was brought here,” hastily said the man in the black suit.
“Indeed? I’m Harold Johnston; I own this cozy little death hole. Somebody did ring up last night, around 7 o’clock, saying that they had arrived to find Cathy dead in her sleep.
“Oh, how horrid! Did they say who they were?”
“No sir.”
“Well did Cathy know who they were?”
There was a long pause.
“No sir.”
“So they just barged into her house, found her and then called the police and you?”
“Possibly.”
“Those sick freaks! On the phone, could you tell if it was a man or a woman?”
“It was a man.”
“Did he come by to see you or anything?”
“Yes sir, as a matter of fact, he did.” Harold removed his surgical mask to show a busy brunette mustache.
“Oh, what did they look like?”
“They had graying reddish hair, a bandage on his right cheek and a beard.”
“Was it a man or a woman?” asked Randy.
Another long pause.
“Sir, did you drink a lot of paint when you were little?”
“Ha ha! Why?”
“I was just curious sir.”
“How did she die?”
“Died in her sleep. No traces of alcohol abuse, drug use, a heart attack, stab marks, or anything like that. Peaceful sleeping death.”
“Why didn’t anybody wake her up?”
“Sir, honestly now, why did you come here this afternoon?”
“I wanted to see her, before her funeral.”
Harold smiled at this and unclenched his fist.
“Of course sir, how rude of me for not asking sooner. Follow me.”
“Oh no, I’d prefer if you brought her to me,” Randy cleared his throat.
“Why? I can’t be expected to drag that coffin in here! The wake isn’t till tomorrow we mustn’t disturb the coffin,” Harold explained.
“Well wake her up earlier, we must discuss funeral arrangements.”

That, was the last that anybody ever heard from Randy Gannet.


All proceeded comments will be converted into brain cells and donated to Harold Johnston. The More the Marrier!
  





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Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:46 am
Rincewind says...



I'm totally confused.
The surgeon is stupid?
I thought the dialgoue was pretty good. Nice flow at least, but I don't understand what happens at the end. I am getting the impressiong that Randy is a necropheliac. Is that correct?

Is there more to this story?
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
  





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Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:50 am
Elizabeth says...



:P lol the surgeon wasn't stupid, he was annoyed
Randy was stupid. No I dont' think randy was meant to be a necrophilliac because he is too stupid to tell a living person from a dead one...

No there isnt' any more as far as i can muster up. It was afterall a 10 minute rant :P
  





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Fri Aug 05, 2005 4:01 am
Sam says...



*cracks up*

Well wake her up earlier...lmao...
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Fri Aug 05, 2005 4:25 am
Meshugenah says...



oh my gosh.. Liz.. that was insane. Could have been a bit clearer.. but on wow..

Randy is.. yeah, I think you said it best.

*is still laughing*
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Fri Aug 05, 2005 6:05 am
deleted6 says...



Well done Liz good, but don't get it oh well, well done
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
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Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:40 am
Emma says...



lol,

I didn't get it either, but its pretty good...

*walks off confused*
  





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Fri Aug 05, 2005 8:43 pm
Elizabeth says...



Wow.... People actually read this....
IS IT ME OR IS THIS SUDDEN CHANE AFFTECING THE HEAT IN HERE?!?!?!
*hides in some foreign dictatorship country where I AM THE DICTATOR... MY COUNTRY!!!*...
I'm off the edge today, sorry, missing my friend haha...
  








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