Young Writers Society

I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
This is a way, that I say I need you
This is a way, this is a way
That I'm learning to breathe,
I'm learning to crawl,
I'm finding that you, and you alone
Can break my fall.
I'm living again, awake and alive.
I'm dying to breathe beneath abundant skies...
-SWITCHFOOT "LEARNING TO BREATHE"

Ever just feel completely happy? Like nothing is going to go wrong for once, and that you actually mean something to someone. 'Cause that's how I feel right now. I'm not on the ground anymore, I'm watching from the sky the rest of the world breathing and smiling. And as I sit here thinking of how life gets so much better, after your broken and bruised on the ground, I realize that there is hope in life.

There is hope for everyone. Life gets better at some point, it can take a minute, a day, ten years, or forever. But life will get better. Even in the hardest of times, you need to keep your head up and walk yourself into the future, because that is where you may find happiness.

I just want to make everyone feel like they can achieve happiness like I have. You can do it. You need to set yourself out to find it and it will come to you. Don't ever doubt that.

"And when you see, see the beauty, all around and in yourself, and it will help you feel okay. And when you pray, pray for strength to help you carry on, when the troubles come your way. And when you dream, dream big. As big as the ocean blue. 'Cause when you dream it might come true, and when you dream, dream big."

The little snippits of text here feel more like diologue out of a monologue than anything else. I really like the second bit. These would work very well as parts of diologue among two people. You even put the last stanza in quotes, which solidifies that in my mind. I'm not sure if this is poetry, or a short story. It almost looks like a journal entry to me. Overall this is decent, but it doesn't feel connected, other than the similar subject matter, and I do feel strongly that each part belongs in something seperate from one another, wheather or not they are in the same piece, they dont belong right next to eachother. There is serious potential for story in between them.

Switchfoot's song, Learning to Breathe.

brandenwallace wrote:Switchfoot's song, Learning to Breathe.

Yeah, it is. I do feel that it doesn't all go together well, but I've been in such a writing mood, apart from the song, that I write whatever comes to mind. Prehaps I should add more or space it out? Just a question. And just to clear things up, I will credit the song to Switchfoot. Right now in fact. I just felt that it went good with the story when writing it, but I guess not.