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Young Writers Society


'Wars never won'



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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 4
Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:59 am
waydownunder says...



You can never be a psychic if your such a defensive pessimist Charlie” fuck that. All his life Charlie worked to disprove his mum’s psychic visions. So now, with every pessimistic bone in his body, he saw into the swirling orange-yellows of the future and he could see he was going to die…crawling on all fours, through the virus filled darkness of his apartment, Charlie couldn’t help but see delusion from the corner of his eye. like light reflecting off water…water, bleeding with the smell of Indian incense sticks and floating dead with oil….troubled times..the army of matchsticks were mobilising. there are ready for a coup…the charm of the Captain Chemo was wearing off…wearing off on everyone…world war 2 has got a new life…fuck that…Charlie had seen worse in Vietnam…world war 2? Those German captains can kiss his ass…

but he knows he cannot lie…the razor had started to smile …the mush of blood and hair from the back of his head was bringing him down…”Sagen Sie ein Gebet für die Armee von Matchsticks, Leutnant Dirkman?”” prayer?. you German pricks..Ive seen hell in Vietnam. what the fuck do u know?…and now..now u ask for a prayer?..at my weakest hour?…fuck you..” no church bells rang for Charlie’s tears….the band started to play..1, 2, ,1,2,3,4,….Charlie’s been off the wagon. sure he was, he promised his mother remember. and if he did drink she would know right?....but the smell of beer in his breath will tell a love story….

Charlie was dying and all he wanted was a light….a light for his smoke..so he can die a happy man..he was gonna get high with a little help from his friends…” Wurden Sie mögen mich Ihren Freund zusammenrufen HIV?.. Er vermißt Sie überhaupt soviel...?”…the oil seemed to have leaked onto his floor..he couldn’t grip it with his hands and he fell to the ground…he could hear the sycronized steps of the army…” guilt?..you will never kill me with guilt you bastards…your all prisoners..prisoners of responsibility…I celebrated responsibility…I celebrated freedom…you know it…this world will knows it…”….” Sodomized alle Männer Sie zurückgekommen, um you?..Are u zu frequentieren, das diese Welt ängstlich ist, würden wünschen Sie getragen nie an allen? Hallo? Hallo?”…”hey..man..come on..ask them stop marching will you..im dying..give me a light will you..come on man..hey!!..”…

the motel next door finally got their lights working…the white-blue neon seemed to fill the room…as charlie looked down to see the dark purple patchwork quilt that he had become..he finally conceded defeat..he had been waiting for someone and he knew he was closer that he had ever known but…but tonight he was too dumbstruck to thank his lucky stars…because tonight they sang a song of everything he didn’t want to know…captain chemo had started laughing again…” Wachen Sie auf! Mommys Haupt, wenigen Charlie.’
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67 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 67
Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:29 pm
QiGuaiGongFu says...



You need a lot of work with basic grammer, punctuation, and spelling. Fix that, and I'll be happy to critique this.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- HL Mencken
Lie together like butt.
Presenting the GFuture, soon to be the Gnow, reality presented by Google.
Welcome to GEarth.
~Baske in the randomness~
  








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