Here is another short story, this is only the second one I've ever written so any suggestions on how to improve are welcome. Hope you like it.
The doctors say I have a twenty percent chance of living. I’ve always been ‘the glass is half full' sort of person but it's hard to be optimistic when your cup is three fourths of the way empty.
Cancer. You hear about other people having it but you just don’t understand until you’re going through it yourself. The feeling of being trapped. The horrifying sensation of being unclean. Held captive by your own body.
The poison of it seeps into every potion of your life. Every joyful time tainted by the silent question in the back of everyone’s mind, but most prominent in your own.
Is this the last time?
People avoid talking about it when you’re around, but it, with pity, is always there. An almost tangible presence, as unforgettable as the stark smoothness of your scalp.
My parents tell me they’re so proud of me. How strong I’ve been and that they know I’m going to beat this, but their eyes say differently. There I read the truth. Unspoken words of sadness, fear, and pity lay within them so deep that I want to scream. But I don’t. I can’t. So I smile and their lips turn up in response and we pretend that we aren’t scared senseless.
Sometimes, after a treatment, they ask me, is there anything I need or do I want anything? I say no, but that’s not true. There are so many things I want.
I want to walk up a set of stairs without having to stop for breath. I want to go to the mall without people staring at me from the corners of their eyes. I want to stop hurting. I want to learn how to drive. I want to go shopping for my first piece-of-crap car. I want my hair back. I want to have my first kiss. I want to go to college. I want to visit another country. I want to run a marathon. I want to be healthy. I want to get married. I want to go sky diving. I want to have a family.
I tell people I love them a lot these days. My parents, my siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. I tell them to live life to the fullest. That’s what I’m doing. It would be easy for me to be bitter about this and to be honest, at times, I am. But I don’t want to be remember that way. I don’t want to waste the time I’ve been given. So I try to be brave, but sometimes it is so hard, because more than everything else,
I don’t want to die.
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