"Okay Charisma, can you give me a pose that says I'm powerful?" asked the photographer
I was dressed in a black leather jacket and black skinny jeans and of course, black stilletos. I spread my legs apart, put my arms on my waist, and leaned in forward, giving a gentle growl face. Click. I turned at an acute angle and then flexed my arms muscle, leaning forward to the camera. Click. I took off the stilletos and backed up a little, then ran off and jumped into the form of a hawk ready to strike , but making sure to keep my face ugly-pretty. Click. Click. Click.
"Charisma, the meaning of your name is expressed through your pictures." The photographer complimented.
I went over to where the pictures were being looked at and my heart jumped at the beauty of them. I never believed in this modeling career but after receiving callbacks from many photographers and modeling companies, I started thinking otherwise.
The people usually let me go home with the outfits which I was going to do tonight. I only started doing modeling for a year but it felt like a century. As I walk down the noisy sidewalk of Town Square, I smile whenever I see my pictures on the walls of the tall buildings.
I stop when I see my picture right of a picture of a plus sized model and left of a picture of a Victoria secrets model. I almost took the job as a Victoria Secret's model but I wasn't the one for lingerie. I took a look at the plus sized model and started admiring her hairstyle. She was red haired and I love the curliness of her hair and how it was parted on her right side. She was wearing a black dress and diamond studded heels. She had her head angled up and the way her mouth was made it seem like she was just rocking it out. What I most loved was her freckles but basically, I loved this picture.
I then looked at the Victoria Secret's model. The model was blond and her hair was straight. She was wearing those seven in one bras with a bikini and heels. She had a serious face on but you could see the innocence in her face.
I started walking on the path to the hotel, crossing paths with three girls.
"Oh my gosh!" one of them screamed. "Are you Charisma?"
I was a new model so I didn't expect anyone to actually know me but a few fans is better than no fans.
I smiled at the girl who screamed for me. "Yes, yes I am."
"You're really pretty," It was the youngest of them that said it. She looked about twelve. "My mommy said your style is very mature for a girl your age."
I laughed. "That's really nice of your mom to say."
"Well, could I get your autograph?" she asked eagerly.
"Come on Abby," the oldest one whined. She looked to be in her early twenties. In her hand, she had a chili cheese hotdog. My stomach started to grumble. " She probably has other stuff to do."
"Oh no, I'm actually very available," I said, then going into my bag to get a picture of myself that my agent had me carry around. " I'll just give you an autograph right now."
"For a model, you have a lot of time on your hands," The second oldest said this. " Aren't you suppose to be out with guys or going to clubs?"
"Oh no honey. Club scenes are not my thing."
"But aren't you like, twenty one?" she asked, with a hint of surprise in her tone. " You can do anything. And with your body, you probably have guys calling after you everyday."
I could estimate this girl to be about sixteen when her hormones would be at its peak. I could see her perspective but I wasn't going by it.
I finished my autograph for the Abby, the little girl, and gave it to her.
"Well it's been a long day," I said. "Hope to see you gals later."
They all waved goodbye and we started walking our separate ways, but I stopped at a corner when I saw that they stopped at the three pictures of me, the plus sized model, and the Victoria Secrets model. The youngest one pointed at my picture.
"I want to be like her!" She exclaimed. "She has a lot of style."
The oldest one looked my picture too and smiled too. " She really is a beauty."
The oldest then backed up and looked at her own image, then her mood changed. I could see that she was intimidated. She noticed that her body size was bigger than mine, even though I was probably her age. I was slim but it was a healthy slim. I have brown hair and hazel eyes, and fair skin. Most people would come up to me and say "for a skinny person, you sure look very alive." This offended me greatly at times, but I found the good in their words if there were any.
Through the girl's eyes, I could see her mind working. If I just handled my diet perfectly, would I be like her? I need to work out. I need to get rid of this hotdog and as if on cue, she disposed of her snack.
I felt bad for her but she was beautiful and she also had a beautiful body. There was a difference between being fat and just being plus sized and I bet if she went to an agency for plus sized women, she probably would have landed a job the first day. I prayed that she would go over to the plus sized model's pic and she did and right there, her mood changed once more but into something positive.
"I want to be this girl." I saw her mouthed.
Both of her sister's saw her and the youngest hugged her. " I bet you could become just like her. She's pretty too."
The second oldest scoffed. "I don't know why."
"And why would you say that?" asked the oldest, offended.
Her sister walked up to the two pictures: the one of me and the one of the plus sized model
"Because no one pays attention to a fat model and," she went to my picture. " No one pays attention to anyone who's so safe."
This concerned me. I didn't have anything against underwear models but models came in varieties. Plus, some of these models pushed girls to trying to be too skinny and a little too sexy, if that's how you would put it.
I got an idea. Those models lived a few floors from me back at the hotel.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"Charisma, I don't know what your main motive is here," said Janay. She was the Victoria Secret's model. " But I kind of like it."
We watched as our picture was being hung on the wall of these abandoned buildings. From the corner of my eye, I saw River, the plus sized model, come over with chili cheese hotdogs.
"Sorry I'm late, " she said. "The vendor guy wouldn't let me go."
Janay and I took our hotdogs and waited for the men to be done hanging the poster. It was hard planning the production of the picture but I managed to get it done. The picture was of all three of us in white tank tops and white boy shorts. We cuddled in the center of the poster with me hugging River from the front and Janay hugging River from the back. We were all smiling and on the top it said
All of different sizes. All of different styles. Can you tell me who's the prettiest?
Usually at that point , people would be thinking about who is the prettiest but will soon realize the bold letters at the bottom.
Oh wait, that's right...all of them.
We all did a toast with our hotdogs and laughed after spilling some of the chili on the floor after taking a bite. As we kept on enjoying our hotdogs, a crowd of girls appeared. They all looked at the poster for a moment and then a revelation was made. We watched as some of these girls disposed of laxatives and diet pills they had hidden in their pockets. Some of them ran over to the fast food restaurants as if they hadn't eaten for days and it seemed like they didn't. Some of them hugged each and other and kept telling each other " You're beautiful. You're so beautiful."
"You're an angel Charisma," Janay said. "You've been put on this earth for a reason."
"I agree with Janay here," said River. "So is your mission accomplished?"
"Mission accomplished."
We went to go get a taxi to bring us to our next photo shoot till a group of girls stopped us.
"Can we take a picture?" they all asked.
Janay, River, and I stood next to each other with our half eaten hotdogs in our hands and smiled. Click.
"I know what I'm going to call this." said, the oldest of the group. It was the oldest sister I saw the other night. "Inner Beauty."
For the rest of the day, all I heard was news about the crowd of girls gathered around our poster and their reactions. A cleaning crew had to do something about the trashcans full of laxatives, diet pills, and diet drinks. It turns out that some of the restaurants closest to the poster had a great increase of income from their sudden rise in customers.
When I got home, only two words rang in my head.
Inner. Beauty.
Who knew that I would be the one to tell other girls to find that. I went to go look at myself in the mirror. I was in my sweats with no makeup on and a dirty t-shirt. Normally I would never go out like this but tonight I made an exception. I went down to the to the restaurant and ignored the stares I got from the clerks and elevator men and maids. I got a table for one in the restaurant and took a sip of water.
"So what look is this Charisma?" asked the waiter
"I call it , " then I sat up." Inner beauty."
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