The a deep sound of a melodic cello resonated off the walls and into my body flowing through my veins and into my heart. Strumming my soul, to awaken. I float in the cloudless sky and a fortress appears in my line of vision. I walk on air lightly, so novel and yet the steps do not matter. How quaint; the music calls to me, so regal and inviting me into it’s stone walls. No longer standing on air, I begin to fall from the sky, no longer floating.
The realm of her fantasy slipped from Emily’s grasp and extinguished as the rude and annoying sound of her six-thirty alarm clock pierced through the cloudy stupor of her sleep. Emily stared up at her white ceiling and sighs pushing the need for more sleep away. She sits up reaching under her pillow for a square notebook. Emily yawns again stretching with the motion of opening the book, uncaps the pen and writes…
Dear Diary,
Same dream again tonight, about the
castle in the cloudless sky…I didn’t make
it to the castle this time either.
Em.
“I’m hungry” Emily shoves the note down her bag and lugs herself to the bathroom. “And so begins the day.”
________________________________________________________________________
Emily felt restless again moving through the school halls at a snail’s pace. “Last class of the day, Em, come on, we can get through it!” She moved through the door and eyed the evil mathematic “do now” that stood proudly on the board. It staring her down as she made her way to the back of the classroom.
‘Notebook’ Em thought bored again, ignoring the late students that she saw lounging in the halls walk in.
Dear Diary,
When I was twelve I wondered if my steps could ever
take me to that tall castle. My dancing feet, could they ever carry
the passion that was in my heart or would my lefty-lefty feet be my
down fall. Well I have rehearsal after school so I must be
doing something right.
Em.
Emily glanced up from her notebook, not in the slightest shocked that it was empty. She breathed a sigh of relief. She made it. “Another day, another unknown Algebra lesson” She whispers quietly to herself. Emily gathers her books quickly shoving her note to the bottom. Feeling her Math teachers eyes. Standing Emily tries to make a quick B-line for the door.
“Trying to sneak pass me again, are we Miss Gray?” Emily pauses in the threshold of the door.
‘Crap! So close’ she thinks quietly as she turns around. To see her teacher whose eyes did not so much as leave the papers he began staking.
“Never! Mr. Rivers, I just I have so much work-” he cut her off.
“Yes indeed quite a lot of work your going to be doing this evening as well as this weekend” He spoke as a matter-of-factly looking up from his desk with those aforementioned papers. Peeling through them before he started again. “Geometry, Algebra 1 and 2, decimals, Trigonometry, defining three dimensional figures in accordance with graphing and the list goes on” He handed the wide-eyed girl the entire stack.
“But I-”
“I mean if you want to make up for the many unfinished lessons and class works to pass my class with the minimum requirements.” Emily looked at her teacher, then the work that crushed her dancing the weekend away dreams.
“Okay, I’ll get it done” She said quietly. The taller man nodded as she left the room.
“I mean truly if that girl put half as much effort into her school work as her dancing…” He trailed off.
________________________________________________________________________
Emily dragged herself to her locker the ball and chain that was this weekends homework still on her mind. “Ugh, there’s no way am getting all of it done!” she pulled her head out of the locker to close it.
“Look it’s that Emily girl why is she always alone?” Emily looked out of the corner of her eye to see the red head senior that was in her junior Earth Science class talking the a blond who seriously thought she was natural. “I don’t know Kory but shhh she coming this way”
‘They thought they were whispering! Oh that’s rich’ Emily almost snickered as she walked pass. ‘I hate teenagers.’
The sun outside could blind. “There’s the bus” Emily breathed out running lightly as it approached. She took a seat in the far back.
Dear Diary
Gosh Mr. Rivers gave me so much more
work to do this weekend. I’m practically drowning
in it, between dance rehearsals and school work eating
and sleeping! I cant keep up It’s getting--
Emily felt her body jerk forward as the bus stopped and all her papers and book bag contents fell to the floor.
“Crap!” Crouching down to gather all her things she caught the shameful and angry glares of the elder generation that happen to hear her rather loud exclamation. Falling once she felt the bus take off. Taking a moment from her papers and books she glanced out the window. “Oh no!” Panic struck her features as she scrambled her papers and things inside the swollen knapsack.
Making her way to the front of the bus she spoke frantic almost “Excuse me sir, but that was stop! Could you-” He cut her off.
“Sorry little lacey can’t let ye off in the middle of the road now can I?” The middle aged mans Irish twang tickling her ears but she ignored it.
“But please that was my stop! Please I’m going to be late!”
“Eh, I’m terribly sorry little miss, ye should have been playin’ closer attention.” Emily looked down at her open bag, kicking her feet softly against her rubber footing.
“Yeah tell me about it” She kissed her teeth, staring intently out the window. ‘Missing my stop! Great now am going to have to run at least eight and a half blocks just to be slightly if not remotely on time to the theatre. Ugh!’ Em sighed.
The bus’ doors opened, Emily clutched her bag tightly to her chest and bolted out of the mechanical monster that held her captive.
Racing down the streets, the theatre was in view. Her journey came to a halt once more as she crashed into a solid structure. Looking up to see that solid structure was another person, a boy to be exact. She looked around all her book bag content on the ground…once again.
“Ugh” The boy began to pick himself up, as Emily shoved her belongings hastily into her bag once more, “Um sorry for bumping into you” She spoke absentmindedly focusing on the papers on the asphalt, he began to help sensing her haste.
“No problem, it was kinda funny” He looked at her as she grabbed the papers he held in his hand.
“Yeah, thanks!” She sprinted into the red and black building at the corner, still on the ground he scratched his head.
“Okay, that was odd” he looked around, a small black and white book catching his attention. He picked it up.
________________________________________________________________________
A woman with light brown hair in a booth labeled ‘Box Office’ yelled out “Your Late!”
Emily ran up the steps yelling out an out-of-breath “I know Renee!” He chuckled lightly. Making her way into the house she smiled as she spotted her Mother talking on the phone.
“Oh there you are Em.” Her mother embraced her asking. “How was school?” Emily grunted lightly.
“It was okay”
Her mother smiled. “You must learn variety dear” A grunt was the woman’s only reply. Emily threw her bags into the nearest chair, and made her way to the stage. “Em, I’ll be in the office” The tall brunette exited, Emily paid no mind as she sat center stage.
Construction for the next show had yet to start so the stage was bare; black curtains, black walls and the floor was black also but held specks of white that from afar resembled glitter. She was content.
Emily breathed, she sat Indian style and finally after all the days craziness she could relax.
________________________________________________________________________
The knocking of boots against the stage floor pulled Em from her meditation. She tried to concentrate harder, hoping to drown the sound out with peaceful thought. “Ah, so it really was you! What luck! The dancer who never smiles” It didn’t work out so well. Poor Emily. She scowled lightly, irritated with this person already. “You don’t look so scary?” The boy unaware of the Indian style sitting girl’s raising anger. “Human, Female… What’s their to fear?” Emily’s head snapped toward the stranger to glare at him only to see the boy from earlier.
“You?” She shook her head tired with the days antics “Did you follow me here?” He laughed. The sound almost foreign to her ears.
“It certainly could seem that way but oddly no, this is just coincidence, if you believe in such a thing” He peered down at her, smiling. Emily rolled her eyes.
“Please then get ou-“Her words cut off as he swiftly dropped down to her level taking her position. The now wide eyed girl cried almost “What-” he turned to her eyes open. Emily stopped talking on her own this time, and stared into the mossy green of his eyes. Blinking.
“You dropped this when you bumped into me, earlier” he held out a plain notebook that to the naked eye held no true significance. The boy felt the object leave his hand fiercely. Emily shot up clutching the item to her chest, she stood a few steps away from the boy.
“Did you open it?” Unconsciously tightening her hold.
“…No” tension slid off Emily in fathoms as her shoulders dropped from their up righted position. She turned back to him.
“Thank you” he looked up to her and smiled, It seemed some how brighter.
“No biggie chicka” and once again those orbs of mountainous grass startled her.
“Emily” She spoke quietly.
“I know,” His reply was littered with knowing. “My name is-”
“Adryan! You’re here” Emily’s Mother came walking down the from the house.
Emily looked at the boy, Adryan bewildered. “You know my Mother?!” He shrugged nonchalantly.
“So I see you two have met already, but Em, Adryan here is an amazing dancer you two will be doing a couple of duet performances together. Isn’t that great?!” It took Emily a moment to process the words that came out of her Mother’s mouth, specifically the ones ‘Performance’ and ‘Duet.’
“No” was her firm answer that reverberated off the theatre walls. Confused, Adryan and her Mother stared.
“What do you mean ‘No’ this is wond-” Her Mother’s nasally voice irritating her, she cut her off.
“No, I don’t need a partner!” Putting her projection to work in the rather large space, anger quickly spread through her entire being. “You don’t think I’m good enough on my own! I don’t need him! I’ll work harder if need be but I can do this!“ Emily ragged out hoarse. “I can put on an amazing show without the need of a partner” She said the word with much disgust, Emily could taste the venom.
Emily turned away. “Emily, That’s-”
“I don’t care” She jumped off stage running into the wings to the stage door.
“Emily! Wait!” Her mother chased after her, watching her retreating back for the stage left door. She turned to Adryan. “I’m so sorry Adryan I should have told her sooner, She’s never had a partner before…I didn’t think she’d react like this.” The woman knitted her eyebrows.
“It’s okay Ms. Austin, Emily just needs some time.” he spoke, wishing his words would help. The older woman sighed.
“Yes, I suppose so.” Worry laced her face still.
________________________________________________________________________
Emily stared up at the annoying white ceiling of the greenroom. Sighing loudly she sat up, and looked at the television that was still on mute. When she burst in she popped in one of the many videos from her dancing career that was stored here. She was ten years old in this one doing an adaptation of Swan Lake. She opened her diary…
Dear Diary
A partner! she wants me to have a partner! This day
just gets worst and worst… Does someone up their hate me?
Is it make Emily’s life hell day! I can’t believe her, My own
Mother does she not think I’m good enough on my own? I
can do It. I can, I’ll work harder.
She shut the note closed when she felt someone sit on the couch next to her, She took a glance. Adryan.
“What do you want?” Adryan accepted her anger.
Sighing “Your Mom-”
“I don’t need you or a partner for that matter” She cut him off moving to the sink, her arms supporting her, the sink having seem very interesting at that moment.
Rolling his eyes “I never said you did”
Emily gasped quietly, she turned on her heel burning holes into his head “Then why are you here?!”
He paid no attention to her attempts to make him spontaneously combust, but stared at the unsmiling girl in the video playing. “You’ve been working very hard, for so long” Her face softened.
“Dancing is the reason I breath” she said as if it were the simplest thing.
Almost unconvinced he said “Dancing is the reason you breath but it doesn't mean you enjoy it, you never smile”
Tired of his questions Em sighed “I am very happy when I dance, I'm too focused on putting on a brilliant show to worry for my facial expressions.” Adryan scoffed.
“Too busy calculating your next steps, making sure your footing is spot on, what are you the perfect dancing robot?” He stood up pointing accusingly at the blank television.
“Perfection is unattainable” Emily said simply, he just stared at her, head bowed slightly. “…but I come close”
“Blah! Perfection is over rated. People aren't perfect! They don't want to see it they come to the theatre. They come to get away from real life! Standards! Perfection! It’s our job as dancer’s to hold that reality of fantasy and bring it to life” Panting from his overly passionate speech.
Emily grabs her diary. “I’m very aware of my job description thank-you. I don't need you telling me how to do anything especially my job!”
His speech apparently igniting a fire, he sighed as she left.
________________________________________________________________________
Dinner was quiet nothing was heard except for the soft clanking sounds of dishes against plates.
Diary Entry; 20 minutes ago
Dear Diary
Okay so the partner thing is apparently still ago their
Even staying in our house, granted it’s a big enough house
but come on I don’t want them here. Adryan and his sister whose
a dance teacher, Catherine; She’s nice. Adryan is a-- I can’t describe
him he’s like I totally get you hate me one moment then telling
me how to do my job the next. Doesn’t he get it my job not our.
Now I have to go to stupid dinner with bipolar Adryan and Mommy-dearest.
Em
Present time; Dinner table
The tension at the table was so thick you’d dull your knife. Emily picked at her food tired written all over her face. After their face off in the greenroom, Emily couldn’t stand to meet Adryan’s eyes. Impossible anyways his head was drooped so low all you could see was the top off his shaggy black hair. Catherine sighed, sick of the suffocating feeling in the room, tried to strike conversation.
“Emily, The studio is it really like a green house?” Emily smirked, her attempt was almost laughable.
“Yes, actually I designed it myself when the our home was first made. May I be excused? I have homework to do before bed.” Emily stared at her Mother her emotions towards her still wild but at bay, for now. She nodded. “Goodnight everyone”
Emily dumped her food in the trash. Adryan watched from the corner of his eye.
________________________________________________________________________
Diary open, latest entry reading ‘Mr. Rivers! Why????‘ Text book open, latest definition Parallel lines reading line going on that never blah bla blahhhhhh, eyes closed, latest mission sleep.
The last one not working out too well seeing as she is still awake. Emily stared at her neatly purple painted walls, her meticulously placed stuffed animals and her many rows of ballet slippers. From the first year she started to now.
The door creaked opened, Em didn’t budge. “Em…” It was her Mother she walked in slowly closing the door behind her enough to leave a slither of light on Emily’s back. She sat the foot of Emily’s bed. “I know your awake you don’t have to say anything just listen, I’m not sorry for Adryan, I want you to know he doesn’t pose a threat he’s a nice kid.” She paused to take a breath “…But never think that I think that your not good enough, Em I love you. I’m your biggest fan, you always do an amazing job to me. I just think a little interaction with someone your own age and interest will be good for you. I know it will.” She reassured.
Emily shifted and looked at her Mom, “Why?”
“I want you to be happy, Em” Her Mom smiled, Emily nodded. The taller woman moved the books that crowded her bed to the floor and kissed her daughter’s fore head. “sleep good dreams” She left.
‘If only she knew’ Emily thought solemnly.
Emily pulled her diary for the spot on the floor.
Dear Diary
She can often be more of a manager than a Mother,
but she has her moments, I love her. I’ll try…for her.
Em
She laid back, closing her eyes; whispering “And maybe abit for me too”
________________________________________________________________________
Emily squinted her already closed eyes, hoping to shut out the sun that was currently beating her in the face. Groaning loudly when it didn’t work, she turned and landed body first onto the rugged floor.
“Ugh!!! Why me?” questioning the world and pulling herself up off the floor she dragged herself into the bathroom to shower.
________________________________________________________________________
Adryan stayed quiet and lagged behind following his sister and Emily’s Mom. The tour she was giving them of the theatre apparently boring him as he looked around disinterested at the green room. Emily’s words ringing on his ears.
“I don’t need you telling me how to do anything, especially my job!”
His head began to pound at the intensity of the misunderstanding.
________________________________________________________________________
Emily walked through the park slowly, not in a rush to get to the theatre at all.
Em,
Gone to the theatre early to
give Adryan and Catherine a tour.
Mom
It wasn’t a long walk, Emily usually liked to walk anyways. “Mom knew I’d need the morning to myself” Emily skipped a little as she heard Renee’s big mouth on the phone outside the door.
“Oh hey Em!” The blonde woman said while hanging up the phone.
Smirking Emily leaned on the box office window. “Hey Renee, My Mom still here right? With that boy and Catherine?”
“Yup! And Em you know that boy has a name cut him some slack” Renee pursed her lips.
“Yeah right he’s moving in on my territory and dictating to me how to do my job! But everybody wants me to cut him some slack!” Keeping a reign on her anger Emily sighed.
“Yes! You don’t even know the kid Em and you sound like some animal with all that territory junk just cool it. You never know the two of you could make good friends!” Emily rolled her eyes. “And plus he’s not bad looking anyway!” She just had to point out.
“Renee!” Emily blushed. “Whatever I’m going!” Making her way up the stairs, Renee shouted to her.
“Play nice!” Feeling as if Renee was mocking her she shook her head.
________________________________________________________________________
Emily walked into the meeting that was going on inside the green room. “Ah there you are Em” Everyone turned to see her some waved some didn’t make eye contact, she barely noticed. Emily sat down next to Catherine, who was the only one to wave. Emily gave a curt nod to the older girl. “As I was saying, The next performance will be next Saturday nine PM were already sold out, construction begins today as well as rehearsal, dress rehearsal Friday evening. Okay any questions?” No one said a word “Good, meeting dismissed.”
The drive home was quiet.
________________________________________________________________________
Dear Diary
Rehearsals start today, not a total disaster, yet!
He’s getting the steps almost as quickly as me
and he a good dancer--aware and focused I just wish he weren’t
that good so I could have something to complain about.
UGH! I mean really the choreographer, Daisy is so excited
about the partner thing she has him touching me abit too much
for comfort. She put us on a five minute break while she took a call. I’m
hiding out in the bathroom, shameful I know… Adryan seems-
Ms. Daisy knocked on the bathroom door. “Emily are you ready” She slipped out book well hidden.
“Yes” Monotone as usual.
“Well now lets see what we have so far, shall we!” Ms. Daisy sat at the far end of the room watching.
Emily turned to Adryan his hand extended to her, hesitant of his eyes, she took it. His grip, tight for the first time unlike the previous feather like touches.
I felt like a girl that was about to dance with a
boy for the first time as he reeled me in. So many
ludicrous thoughts ran through my head.
Will he step on my toes?
Would we move so gracefully the wind would envy us?
Will he look me in the eyes as the non existent music guides our steps?
I couldn’t cease the girlish thoughts…
Adryan grabbed her waist and pulled them close. Those forest green eyes locked with honey amber.
They were on fire, his eyes, I couldn’t focus on
which way my feet were moving, I could only sense his
Airy emotions in the way he spun, lunged and moved
at me, with me, and against me in perfect unison.
Is this what it was like to dance with vigor?
Is this what it was like to siege and conquer new land with our feet?
Is this what it felt like to float on air with the wind beneath your wings?
He held me against him and with his meadow colored orbs he told me it was.
Emily and Adryan stepped away from each other as Ms. Daisy clapped. “That was splendid, that’ll be all for the day, Great work the both of you!” She stepped out of the room.
The two teens just stood their, the sun pouring in from the rather large windows. “Emil-” She ran out the door.
She slammed her bedroom door, standing behind it breathing a sigh. Unsure Emily set her note down. Pulling her books from the spot on the floor. “I still have homework” The silence never responded yet she took refuge in its empty reply.
________________________________________________________________________
Papers littered the floor around the flustered brunette, Emily sighed loudly picking up her pencil.
Homework Homework Homework… No biggie right!
Wrong! Math, Algebra, Trig and an essay on graphs Jeez.
Mr. Rivers must be trying to kill me. Ahhhhh!!!!!
“Emily”
The freckle faced girl looked up from her diary to see Adryan. ‘Wonderful’ Emily thought. “What do you need?”
“I’m sorry” Emily could only stare at him, obviously taken aback at his composure. The defeat in his shoulders sincerity in those moss eyes.
“I… don’t.. understand…” her short broken reply shocking her own self.
Adryan gazed at her finally stepping inside and taking a seat next to her, knees drawn to his chest. She could hear him breath quietly before he started.
“My parents are dead” His morbid statement took her by surprise. Though before she could admit her sorrowful condolences he began again. “I felt like everything was so out of my hands, life was suffocating, complicated I didn’t- couldn’t dance after they were gone” Emily stared waiting with breath that was bated for him to continue.
“Someone helped me through the pain and confusion she was brilliant,”
You could hear the admiration in his voice. ‘She must be special’ Emily couldn’t help to think.
“She gave me courage and confidence to move forward with my head held high” Adryan didn’t look at her he stared forward into his reflection in the adjacent mirror.
He turned to her softly looking into her eyes “I’m sorry, my being here has been pushing your buttons and I gave you that feeling I knew all too well, for that I’m sorry”
Emily didn’t trust her voice, he had just shared with her a piece of his soul it was obvious. She nodded.
“You need help with your math?” He smiled.
“Why?” she stammered out.
“Because by the answers you have on that Trig sheet, you need it!” he chuckled. She blushed.
“Hey no fair, I tried! But no why are you-”
He cut her off “I think we’d make good friends” He said smiling, and goes to the math.
She whispers to herself “Friends?” Content.
Dear Diary
Adryan is seriously bipolar,
but he’s kinda okay. Nite.
Em
________________________________________________________________________
The pitter patter of little rain drops hit the rooftop of the house, all morning and into the afternoon. Raindrops caressed the windows on the outside of the dance studio as two bodies moved against the ray of the sun casting shadows onto the wood floor.
As they dance quietly to the nonexistent music. Adryan grabs Emily tightly by a spot on her arm slightly towards her armpit. Emily pulls away abruptly and holds the same spot on her arm.
Frantic Adryan speaks “Did I grab too tightly? I’m sorry” Emily whose head was down looked up and laughed slightly.
“No no it’s fine, I’m tired as all we’ve been running since one this afternoon” She sat on the floor. “I’m pooped”
Blinking watching her movements as she peeked on the inside of her arm, he saw a small scar. He turned away and began stretching as she turned back to him, yawning abit.
Emily watches Adryan. He stops and sits down next to her.
“Are you almost done all the Math sheets?” he say casually.
“Yeah, just the essay on graphs left. Um… thanks for the help” She says quietly. A soft pinkish hue staining her cheeks. Adryan smiles, his shoulders relax.
“no prob” Daisy from over in the corner smiles as she walks over to the pair.
“Hey guys, so rehearsal for the day is all over. You two learn so quickly! So the game plan for the rest of the week is practice practice practice and we‘re going to add the music” The red head spoke to emphasize her point. “Refinement and restoration, anything that doesn’t feel right tell me I want you too to be completely comfortable with the way your body will move.”
They nodded their heads.
“Good, now Emily your mom left you two some sandwiches for lunch then she wants the both of you to run down to the theatre to pick up a package.” The woman left with a quick gesture of her wrist and was out the door.
Emily ran into the kitchen with a loud exclamation of how hungry she was. Adryan unconsciously left behind glanced over to the window.
“Its so wet” He mumbled watch steadily.
On her second sandwich Emily stopped for a moment. She looked at the boy standing in the threshold. “Hey, you okay?” He smiled lightly and nodded.
“Ready to go?” He watched her finish the sandwich.
Noticing the two left on the porcelain plate. “Your not going to eat?” He shook his head.
“Not hungry” His voice was quiet.
“Okay” Emily put the food away, for later. “Lets go”
________________________________________________________________________
Out the door… Rain slickers, galoshes, and umbrellas invaded their view of the world, as the fresh air assaulted their nostrils.
The walk was quiet. ’I don’t much care for tension, he’s usually the talkative one.’ Emily thought.
“How does a boy who wears combat boots manage to be so light on his feet?” Adryan glanced at her out the corner of his eyes smiling at her indirect question.
‘Emily…’ He smirked inwardly before answering. “They double as rain boots and they keep my feet firm on the ground”
“Like weights!” Emily spoke before she thought, surprising herself.
“Yeah!” He laughed at her awkward excitement. “That part helps when I dance, I can be extra light on my feet, a trick someone taught me” He said staring down at his shoes.
“Oh I see” she nodded.
“I start school with you on Tuesday, What are your friends like?” Emily turned away slightly. The fact of her friendlessness had never bothered her before so why now? “Em?”
Before he could speak again she interrupted “I don’t have friends. I’m so involved with the theatre I don’t really… and no one really likes me” The quickened pace of her words were jumbled but Adryan heard each word.
“Their loss” Emily blinked her eyes at him, he’d said it as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “Well I’m your friend now!” he exclaimed with much pride.
‘He continues to amaze me. Thank you, Adryan’ Emily gave him a secret smile.
An angry gush of wind blew Emily in the face water from the street crashing into the curb. Adryan moved Emily to the inner side of the street. Emily studied his face. His eyes lacking the beautiful spark it always held.
“What’s wrong?” Noticing she’d asked him twice that day already.
“Nothing, I just don’t want you to get wet” Simple.
“Thanks your such the gentleman” Adryan laughed. His laugh was light, hearty yet complemented his baritone voice kindly.
The halting screech of a car in the road broke the moment. Adryan felt as if his entire world stopped. Emily’s words of concerned fell on deaf ears as blurred images of violent rain and blinking skies danced before his vision. Adryan closed his eyes tightly in a feeble attempt to block out the pictures. The dark of his eyes only intensified the view.
‘I’m scared’ With that single thought he grabbed Emily’s hand and ran. His legs ached, he knew not of his direction or path but he ran only stopping when the world finally seemed out of view. The thick bark of a tree supported him.
He grabbed his head as the images blurred out of focus leaving behind the white hot pain of an on coming migraine.
“Adryan your hurting me” The voice brought him back fully out of his confusing and non too pleasing reverie. He dropped the fleshly mound that he was unconsciously gripping.
“What just happened?” Holding tightly to his head , his eyes wouldn’t completely focus. Emily watched his dilated pupils as they dart back and forth his breath straining his throat.
“I don’t know” They looked at each other. His eyes shone darkly with fear. “We should go”
Silently Emily whispered “Okay.”
Dear Diary
It was so odd. Adryan, he seemed so lost and afraid
for a moment a split second he relived something, something traumatic.
I saw it all in his face. I worry for him… Is that something friends
do for one another. For the rest of the day he stayed locked up
in his room.
--
The package hadn’t arrived.
Em
________________________________________________________________________
The day was long and the on coming night for the sake of human sanity we hoped it would be pleasant, but as fate would have it…
Emily lay snug tight in her bed tossing and turning a weight on her head.
The rain beating hard on her window.
Memories commenced to flow.
She lay in the wistful plane of other worldly dreaming. Sitting in not living the memories of her past.
Emily couldn’t tear her eyes away from the moving image.
It was her and her father in the studio of their old home in Massachusetts.
“I was twelve here, this was a bad day” Emily said to herself as she watched her mini-me stand before her father. She remembered how her father always towered over her, she was so small.
“I had forgotten the steps he’d taught me the night before.” She continued to mumble to herself.
“Emily…” Her fathers booming voice caught her attention. “Why can’t you get such an easy step it’s just a simple kick ball change” He sighed.
“Sorry I’m not perfect, Dad” The girl glared at her feet.
“Emily you will never be the perfect dancer. You can’t move as gracefully as the girls in your ensemble, and you have two left feet that stomp the floor, Oh Emily” The pillar shaped man walked away shaking his head.
The small girl takes her stance, the reality of her fathers words they hurt. She begins again. Body trembling, eyes watering, heart breaking… she begins again.
The images fall apart, moving at a fast pace seemingly into her future Emily watches.
A woman stands in the wings her eyes distant, the air around her still. Her demeanor somber.
Julia Austin, Mother of Emily, age: 34.
She stands just barely on her trembling ankles, the stage lights refract off her fallen sorrow.
Emily can clearly remember the first time she witnessed her mother weep. She knew things were going down hill.
“…But what I didn’t know, was what I couldn’t know; is why?”
Flashback
A man stood before an ensemble of dancers, his eyes darting back and forth, searching for one in particular. A woman with brilliant eyes, clear as the ocean.
Richard Gray, Ballet instructor, age: 22.
“Julia…” A breath. He wanted to watch her, as he has done so many times before, stretch her dainty legs, curl her back, and bare to him her neck.
Ready for instruction.
Richard loved to watch Julia.
They were naturally together, and all was well. Class ended. No Julia to watch.
Everyone left on about their ways, moving on with the time, though Richard felt stuck.
Where is his beloved?
Doors moved, the scream catch the tall man’s ear. “…must remember to oil that” He turned.
Before his eyes stood a woman, windows to her soul cloudy with a storm and yet still beautiful. “Jules…” He reached for her jovial to see his swan. She flinched. Shocked and almost offended he speaks. “Julia…” He could see the on coming tears. She holds her hand to him as she weeps softly in the other, as if to hold him back. It doesn’t work and Richard embraces her, softly yet firm enough to indicate his concerns.
He strokes her honey locks. “Dearest-” She cuts him off.
“Cankles…” She says loud and clear looking into his eyes. They widen a fraction, then close and he embraces her again, smiling.
“Cankles” He says, laughing almost at the meaning behind the word.
They were to have a child, him and beloved his swan.
End Flashback
Julia, older now, watches her daughter perform: Swan Lake. How ironic. Her eyes are hard, no longer displaying that sift of oceanic brilliance. Staring intently at her child, in fear of looking back. In fear of seeing her beloved, leave out that stage left door.
Unbeknownst, Emily watches, aware of how her life is tearing in two.
The silhouette of a man in the doorway, his shoulders visibly slump before he finally disappears in the blinding light of the hall.
Emily looses her footing searching frantically for the shadow of a man as air rushes past her, the world swirls, bends, and blends together.
There is darkness.
Choked gasps are heard from beyond the rain. Emily sits up straight in her bed eyes unfocused in the darkness. A cold sweat runs down her back.
“I need to practice.” Her voice held finality, urgency almost. She tears her sheets back and heads to the studio.
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Darkness is blinding, the sky flashes and gives light to the night.
Adryan stands away from his window, the lighting strokes his walls again. He breathes deeply, and heaves. “…glass of water” Adryan feels the lights following him in the darkness.
Through the halls Adryan begins to see shadows, the ones of his present. Haunting him with it’s lofty being. He holds tight to his glass, afraid to lose his footing he shuffles his feet on the carpet. Shadows, light then darkness.
Calm, for the moment he looks to the sky, searching for the moon to guide him as it always has lost children. Thunder rips open the atmosphere, cuts the air and burns the earth beneath. Adryan frantic runs blindly, forgetting his now emptied cup.
He discovers his legs have taken him to the studio. The shadows return, though this time of a feminine silhouette, curious though also fearful of the large windows, he enters.
Gawking at Emily as she dances as she seems unaware of her sudden audience. Adryan is bewildered, her steps are off, she tripping up this wasn’t the perfection he knew.
“Em?” Her head snaps toward the sound, eyes feasting upon his form though not really seeing him.
“I cant get this step” She states firmly shocking Adryan into confusion. “I can do this I swear I can, but the step is so hard. I’m tired but I can’t stop I have to prove to him…” The words fell from her mouth in broken slurs.
“Prove to who Em?” She seem to be hysterical. “Emily, come on snap out of it.”
She stared at him, blinking away a small sparkle that sat dead in her retina. She pulled away from him, gathering her bearings.
“Adryan, what are you doing awake?“ Contemplating her sudden and abrupt change in persona, he pauses but answers her anyway.
“I couldn’t sleep, I saw you were up” She goes to speak but he cuts her off, continuing. “Why are you awake? Dancing no less?”
Silence was his reply as the darkness of the room was endlessly sliced by the disquieting gashes that reigned on in the sky.
They sit in silence against the windows, staring at the gloom that slides off the wall. Realizing while gaping at the wall her dream, she scrutinized it hatefully. Moving to leave a hushed bolt flashes against the world. Her steps halted, she turns to the boy who remains sitting his hand holding tight to her wrist. He is visibly uneasy.
Adryan takes a breath. “Stay…” he swallows deeply.
“Friends?” That familiar feeling of contentment rose in her chest. She stayed.
The silence, oh the silence.
Adryan sat cautious still wary of the sound coming from the sky. Emily desperate to calm him, “Friends? How do I help?”
“Why are you up?” Emily asked softly.
Adryan breathed. “Can’t sleep, thunder” His reply was short, crisp. “What are you doing up? Dancing no less”
“Your scared of thunder, aren’t you?” It was clear she avoided the question so he didn’t pry.
“Yeah…” Adryan scratched the back of his head, nervous.
Emily gave him a half turn to look in his direction, “Tell me about it…” It seemed almost to be a statement he could refuse, but she wanted to know him; his cautious heart wouldn’t let him.
“I’ve never told anyone-” She cut him off.
Her voice was soft. “We’re friends right?” Thunder, Adryan winces pulling his hands too his ears. A moment’s pause.
“Yeah, but I don’t thin-”
“It’ll help” spoken as if by experience. Lighting, he tightens his grip around his pants legs. “If even just a little”
Adryan moved away from Emily abit, then glanced into her eyes… care, sincerity, curiosity is what he saw in her chocolate depths.
“Tonight, we’ll whenever rain falls from the sky I always thought the gods we’re crying; Though for what I never understood.” She nodded, he felt comfortable. “It rained on the night of my parents death, the thunder was soundless almost like some heathen vagrant that whispered softly of utter chaos and calamity. I understood why it rained, why the world would darken-” Adryan breathed, his head beginning to pound, just as his heart.
Slinking into a different realm of consciousness almost, the ubiquitous shadows danced along to the cacophonous blaring of horns, skidding tires and a scream that raped his ear drums. His blurred vision melded into a harlequinesque figure before vanishing into an isolated plane that smelled of rain water and burning rubber.
Adryan came upon a mind block, a mental barrier, set up probably by his own subconscious.
The doors refused to open. Adryan knew, always knew something was missing; just what was that something he purposely hid? What was he hiding?
Sweat caressed his cheek as he panted. There was warmth, Emily’s hand upon his shoulder, her smile small and true.
“It’s okay, keep going” It’s like she sensed his distress. He needed to confront this.
“They, My parents, We’re driving- In the rain so fast. 80 mph on a 20 mph speed limit the reporters said, I remember them. Those poachers, trying so desperately with their camera’s, flashing like lighting to get a story.” He hissed with distaste.
“A eighteen wheeler, hit them on the highway. Where they were going I can not remember, but the driver hit them, smashed the car the poachers said, the wreckage reached out twenty yards in radius. It was dark out, blurry from the rain, it was dad’s old beat up Chevy the head lights were dim, on that car. They never saw it coming, I guess” Adryan spoke frankly about his parents deaths.
“Adryan…” Emily’s voice reminded him the world had moved on and so had he.
He took a moment to observe Emily as she said his name, he decided he likes the way she says his name. Adryan continues to observe her, the sympathy in her eyes, concern etched into her retina.
“The wound has closed, I’ve learned to accept their deaths. It’s for them now that I dance, I wouldn’t dare to stop again, Emily” She gazed into his emerald orbs. “I couldn’t stop doing the thing they loved and supported me in so much. It makes me feel in a strange sort of way, closer to them” His smile was bright.
Emily nodded dumbly, staring. “It’s night like this…” He glanced for the first time to the shadows of rain. “That make me feel… as if I’m forgetting something” The last part came out as a whisper.
“Your very strong, Adryan” What shocked her was the heat of his embrace, in contrast to how cold she had become. Emily found herself comfortable in his arms, embarrassed when he pulled back. She missed the warmth.
Adryan slid his hands from Emily’s elbows to the underside of her arms, Emily was lost in the ever-green forest that was the windows to his halcyon soul.
Emily’s eyes widened.
Air rushes past her, the world swirls, bends, and blends together.
There is darkness.
The skin beneath her arm, is rough. An imperfection that was smooth to the touch, his fingers cautiously ran over it. Her pupils are dilated, he gawks intently.
“Emily?” She knew what he was starving to ask.
She tore her gaze away. “I don’t want to talk about it” The room was quite except for the rains steady beating at the window, like the shrill metronome of father time.
“But, we’re friends right?” his words stung. “Sharing, it’ll help. It does help.” He said reaffirming his statement.
Emily took a moment, breathing deeply. Her lack of response made him subconsciously tighten his grip. “No, it won’t Adryan. I’m tired. Goodnight” Her voice held finality. She pulled away on her out.
Adryan almost distraught and confused. Emily dismissed him curtly, no explanation, no emotion. He staggers forward, toward her clutching her arm. “Emily I swear it will”
“No Adryan. It won’t. I don’t want-”
“Hypocrite!” He yelled letting go of her arm angrily.
Offended. “What?!”
“You’re a hypocrite. You backed me into a corner and made me talk-”
“I did not back you into a corner!”
He shook his head, she wasn’t understanding him. “I talked it felt good to tell someone finally; it felt good to tell you.”
“Adryan please. I’m not at liberty with myself to talk about this” She spoke calmly.
“Liberty with yourself! Emily then you’ll never do it then. You’ll never speak. You’ll let the memory sit their and bury itself like you did with your emotions! Emily-”
“Shut up!” The thunder accentuated her exclamation. “Just shut the hell up! You don’t know anything. This scar.” She touch the inside of her arm as she glared daggers into him.
There was darkness.
Grunting, clenching her fists in the thresh hold. “I fell off the stage one night during a performance.” Her back toward him. She disappears into the darkness.
Adryan felt like a jerk.
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