Talking to the Moon
"Oh there you are, old friend." Alicia suddenly said. I was confused, we had only just walked outside and nobody had yet joined us. "It's good to see you again."
"Alicia, who are you talking to?" I asked.
"The Moon, of course. Who else?" Of course. Lately she had been talking to the moon at night. I don't know why, but she started doing it a few months ago, when she got sick. She would break into cold sweats and pass out. Sometimes she would only be out for a few seconds, sometimes hours. Once she was out for 39 hours straight. The scary thing is, her pulse would stop and she would get cold whenever she passed out for longer periods of time. But she wouldn't be dead. You could tell she was still alive, I don't know how but you could just tell. She never remembered any of this, so I never bothered asking. But what I did ask about was her conversations with the Moon, whose responses I never seemed to hear.
"Alicia... Why do you always talk to the Moon? It never answers, it never speaks. It's like talking to a wall. Why bother?"
"Carter, do you really want to know?" She looked at me and just stared, her deep blue eyes locked with mine.
"Yeah, of course," I answered.
"Because of my grandfather." A tear slowly welled up in her eye, but she wiped it away and continued talking.
"Before he died, he always told me he'd be there for me. He said he would become part of the moon, along with all the rest who died, to help light the night for those they left behind, and that for every soul brought to the Moon, it would glow a little brighter. He also said that I would hear him. Him and all my other loved ones who have died. I would hear them when... When my time was coming." Her voice broke a little, but her expression remained the same: almost completely empty with a small touch of sadness.
"You're going crazy. You're not dying anytime soon. You're healthy, your body is in perfect shape. Don't talk about your time coming soon. And you're not really hearing your grandfather. You let yourself think you're going to die soon, so now you think you can hear him. But you're not." I couldn't believe what she just said. She can't have been lying about hearing her grandfather though. I know he can't have really been saying anything, but she spoke to the Moon like her grandfather was really talking to her.
"Carter, I'm not crazy, and I'm not healthy. I know I don't remember anything that's happened to me, but don't think I don't know that it's been happening. I heard your mom on the phone. She was telling my mom that I had been out for three hours. I also heard the doctors. They've never seen it before, and they think they can fix it, but I know they can't. Anyway, let's go home. I don't want to talk to the Moon in front of all these strangers." I looked around, and saw one couple quickly turn away. But by the short glimpse I caught of their faces, I know they heard her talking to the Moon. I quickly led Alicia back toward my house, where she had been staying since her parents were out of the country and couldn't return for a few more months. After around twenty mintues of walking, she stopped and looked into my eyes, the way she always did whenever she got serious.
"Why can't you believe me?" She began to tear up, which was unusual for her. She never cries, but lately she'd been letting a few tears through.
"I don't know. It's just that it sounds like something I'd never believe." I felt bad about saying this, and I didn't know any other way to put it. After I said it, though, I immediately regretted it. She began to cry. I brushed her long, jet black hair back, and wiped away the tears. She'd been my best friend for years, and seeing her cry, as rarely as that is, just made me feel so helpless.
"Don't cry now... Come on, let's get back home, then I'll let you pour out anything you need to." I put my arm around shoulder and pulled her close to me, like I always did whenever she felt sad. She continued to tremble, but not as much, so we kept walking. After walking for half an hour, we arrived back home. I led her upstairs and let her lie down in my bed. She stopped crying, but only because she had fallen asleep.
"Good night," I whispered. I threw a blanket over her and laid on the floor. Eventually I fell asleep too. I wish I hadn't. I kept having dreams of Alicia, truly dead. Of her body, laid into a coffin, cold and unmoving, as I had seen so many times. And of her grave, one I hoped never to see.
The next morning, she woke me up to get ready for school. We dressed in silence, and I noticed she was still looking a little sad. As we went downstairs and had breakfast, she shook. The milk and cereal would occasionally fall out of her spoon as she lifted it. I looked at her, concerned, and she looked back as if to say "I'm fine." I believed her and went back upstairs to brush my teeth, but halfway up the stairs I heard a loud crash.
"Oh my God!" I heard my mom scream as I ran back into the kitchen. Alicia had passed out again, this time right into her cereal bowl. I picked her up and laid her on the sofa, wiping away the milk and cereal still clinging to her face. I thought I'd have to leave her there, but she opened her eyes.
"I don't think I'm going to wake up this time..." Her head fell back again. I told my mom, and left her to watch Alicia. I know what was happening was serious, but I still wouldn't be allowed to skip school for her. Besides, my mom took good care of her. But not this time.
"Students, I have some terrible news," the PA blared. "Alicia de Angelo, our dear friend, has passed away this afternoon. Carter Rayne, you are dismissed from school for a completely unrelated reason." Great attempt at hiding things. But I made no effort to hide my sadness. The tears grew in my eyes as my friends came up to me to try and console me. It didn't work, I simply ran out of the classroom, out of the school, and sprinted home. As I burst through the front door I saw her: Alicia, my best friend, dead. Her body was still laid on the couch as she was when I left, but surrounding her were two doctors, both with sad looks on their faces, and my mother, whose face was red and wet with tears.
"Is she really dead? Are you sure she isn't just passed out again?" I thought there was still a glimmer of hope.
"This time she's really gone," one of the doctors responded. "We've run a few tests and confirmed that she is really dead. I'm sorry, son."
I dropped to my knees. I couldn't believe she was really gone. The shock of it must've struck me hard, because next thing I knew I was falling over as everything went dark.
~~~~~
I fixed my collar and combed my hair one last time. It was my best friend's funeral, just as I had seen it in my nightmare. The speaker continued on about how Alicia had lived a great life, and how she would live on in everyone's hearts, especially mine. I turned off everything, blocked everything out except for Alicia. She laid in a pure white casket, with a jet black trim. As everyone got up and walked away, I stayed. Once everyone had left, I walked up to look at her one last time. The sun was slowly setting behind her casket, just as it had set on her life. After a while I had to be pulled away from her side, but only because the night had come, and it was too dark to stay with her any longer. I looked up and saw the Moon. I don't know if it was just me, but that night it seemed brighter than it had ever been before, and I knew why. That night I went home and after everyone had gone to sleep, I went out on the balcony. I looked up to the Moon and spoke.
"Alicia. I know you can hear me. I'm sorry I couldn't have been by your side when you left. I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you said your time was coming. But I'm happy for you. You're back with your grandfather, and all your family members who have gone on. You're there, lighting the way for those at night. And I know you're there, waiting for me. I don't know what else to say, so I won't keep you. Good night." It felt weird, but I just knew she heard me. So after that, for years, I did the same thing. I went out on the balcony, every night, and spent time talking to the Moon.
-67 years later-
I wiped the dust from the picture of Alicia on my bedside table. Tears still well up in my eyes whenever I see it. I looked outside and noticed the sun had set. I stepped out onto the front porch and looked up. I opened my mouth to speak, but then I heard her, her voice sweet as it was 67 years ago.
"Carter, did you miss me?"
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