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Young Writers Society


Death gave me Life



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189 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 398
Reviews: 189
Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:52 pm
manisha says...



This story combines four of my most favorite dreams I have had so far.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Now now!’, I tried patting the sleek back of my horse. Nothing seemed to pacify him. He continued kicking his legs in the air neighing in protest.
‘What is wrong with him?’ I asked. I turned to look around at the stranger behind me. I could only see his silhouette as the sun glared at my eyes. His six feet tall body towered over me. I gulped at the size difference between us.
He was a complete stranger; a part of my mind was sure of that but the other part put up a good fight in convincing me that I knew him somehow. I glanced at his horse, which stood calm under the hot sun.
‘Shush Ellie!’ I tried again ineffectively but my horse continued kicking in the air, leaving me hanging dangerously on his back. ,
‘We are nearing the land of Death’
‘Huh?,I frowned, shielding my eyes so that I could look far into the horizon.
‘Death? Do we die there?’, I asked lamely.
‘By death I mean Lady Death’, the stranger corrected me.
‘Like human?’
‘Like Goddess. Goddess Death herself. We will have to fight Her to pass Her land to reach our destination. A one to one duel with Her.’
I could feel Ellie’s muscle tighten. He had stopped moving around but he was still having his jitters.
‘We fight Death? If we lose we die?’,I already knew the answer. I could almost see my world ending.


I stood in a round room I did not recognize. Lady Death stood before me, her sword drawn. Sweat beads appeared on my forehead as I looked at her. Goddess Death was beautiful. Dressed for duel she looked murderous. Her hair was tied back and a lone silver bracelet adorned her pale hand.
The stranger had already won the duel but Death was good at her game. I held my sword tight in my hands and braced for the blow.
I was defeated in two moves. I fell on my knees as the sword clattered on the floor. I looked up at Death; she looked sympathetic. She came over to me and caressed my face softly; it felt good. I felt strangely calm as she hugged me. She took out a tiny vial and handed it over to me.
‘You have to die’ she said sadly, ‘drink it’. She held me close in her arms as I drank the poison. It looked like Death was crying. She seemed to pleading with someone I could not see. She took out a pearl chain and put it around my neck. Death gave me a pearl chain.

When my eyes fluttered open, I was expecting to find myself in heaven. But I felt alive, I could almost sense every cell of my body beating with the force of life. Someone in radiant gold stood next to me. I looked up but everything seemed blurred.
‘You were spared girl’ a voice spoke, ‘and you are gifted with world’s greatest gift’. But before I could open my mouth the scene changed and I found myself sitting on my couch. My sister sat next to me talking too quickly for me to comprehend. She stopped immediately as someone walked into the room. The woman walked right up to me and placed a baby in my hands.
‘Here’, she said, ‘your baby’.
‘My baby?’ I asked, incredulous.
‘Your baby; Serene’, my sister told me. I wanted to protest. I cannot possibly have a baby. It was far more than bizarre but as I looked into the little baby’s face something about it make me feel wonderful. The name described the baby. An indescribable glow was being shared between us; the more I looked at Serene the more I felt brilliant.
This was my gift. The gift of life. Death herself had cried for me, She had pleaded for me. She gave me a new life. I turned to look at my sister. To my surprise my sister was no longer there nor was the woman. A brown dog was perched next to me. It reminded me of my horse Ellie. I smiled wider. I knew somehow that dog was my protector. Even in my dream I felt safe.
If Novels are a bucket of imagination, Short story is a bucket of imagination made to fit a mug.
  





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13 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1259
Reviews: 13
Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:25 pm
Ad1la3tt3n says...



That was a little odd. Your flow was nice and it was a a good concept, but it was odd. I felt totally lost and had no idea what was going on most of the time. What timeline was your story in? it seemed like your main character was from modren times, but most of the story took place in medieval times. What was the motive for killing Lady Death?
I think you could of gone a lot farther with this concept than you did. I'll read through it again and try to make sense out of it.

Please edit.
Signed: Adila
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all."
--- Hypatia of Alexandria
"It would be better not to know so many things than to know so many things that are not so"
---Josh Billings
  





User avatar
13 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1259
Reviews: 13
Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:39 pm
Ad1la3tt3n says...



Okay I understand it a little better now that i've read through it again.
:smt003
Last edited by Ad1la3tt3n on Thu Dec 15, 2011 6:49 pm, edited 4 times in total.
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all."
--- Hypatia of Alexandria
"It would be better not to know so many things than to know so many things that are not so"
---Josh Billings
  





User avatar
189 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 398
Reviews: 189
Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:56 pm
manisha says...



its supposed to be a dream made into a story. Dreams dont take place in any time, do they?
But thanks for the review! :) !
If Novels are a bucket of imagination, Short story is a bucket of imagination made to fit a mug.
  








Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
— Dr. Seuss