Young Writers Society

only read bobo's so far but i have just printed this off and will get
back to you!!

from what i have seen though, it looks like a great story!

keep it up both of you!

Heh, I'll never be able to keep up with Hunter. Although he does have a bit more than I do to take up his time...

Not to mention I can't get on my comp to type things up >_<
Speaking of which, Hunter, I just looked at my outline for Boundless, and it's awesome! I'll definitely be writing more of it soon.

gmail it to me....(the outline)

and Kay--hope you enjoy it!

Next time I get on the comp I'll bring my outline. And since you asked, I'll finish it up, as well. I just hope I can get my muse back soon, because last time I worked on Boundless, it wasn't very good.

i just finished reading everything you've posted hunter! go me!

and... i think its great!! i like the most recent bit where its like he's
getting memories he didn't know he had or something!

i wish i could be writing a story with someone, if i got writers block
or something i could get help and share ideas and stuff. is it as fun
as it sounds?

it's easier if you already have an idea of what you want written, becuase then there wont be any radical changes......

i like the new avvie hunter!

The beginning of this was awesome! Had me in suspense the entire time. Love the style as well, it's different. Keep writing, it seems like this will make an excellent story when finished!

Man, I really wanna get farther into the story!!!!!!

Would any of you mind if I posted the beginning of the second book? Gah, never mind, that would be silly.

Read poll, answer. Do it now!

Um, it won't let me...

There's no poll, Hunter.

In regards to your story, however;

This seems like a rather abrupt beginning to a story...the dream was well described; it flowed well, used simplistic yet dfitting words to help keep the difficulty of reading down, which is always a plus. Many people don't want to read a story that makes you keep a dictionary next to you as you read it. You describe all your characters at once, which could prove to be confusing to the readers in the long run. for I'm sure they will get many characteristics confused between the characters. Perhaps if you made a further distinction between them there would be less confusion?

The fight scene was really well done, I enjoyed reading it very much! It ran well, I could picture the fight as it unfolded, and you didn't overdescribe everything. Also a plus.

This is a good start, I'm curious to find out where it goes from here.

--Q

Thanks Quiz--I moved Emergence to JustGoat, since it's turning into quite the Noir story. Check it out if you're interested in reading a new beginning for it.

These are really cool pieces of work, with lots of suspense and mystery, but the thing I want to know is: What happened? In the first piece, it leaves us with a cliffhanger and in the second it's a completely different scene. Are you going to write about what happened in between?

-Cobra