Young Writers Society

Anya looked curiously at Jet Steelsheen as he walked in, wondering what kind of person he was. It was common knowledge among the students at the Academy that he was the leader of the Freedom Fighters, a mysterious band of rebels who devoted their considerable skills to resisting the Imperial rule. However, they were very careful to keep this valuable information from the ears of the teachers and the Headmistress, who would no doubt report him to Her Majesty's police force if they found out. One aspect of Jet's aura of mystery was the fact that he rarely went around in public; but when he did, he was constantly under the admiring gaze of the common people of Silver City. His most ardent worshippers were undoubtedly the children and teenagers. The boys regarded him as a sort of superhero. The younger ones idolized him; the older ones envied his life of adventure but felt they would not be brave enough to lead that kind of life even if they could. But if the boys' fascination with him was great, the girls' was infinitely more so. He had but to glance at them to elicit a chorus of squeals, giggles, and excited whispers. As Anya studied him, she realized that his heartthrob status was not just due to his heroic reputation. He was exceptionally handsome; or, as her friends would often sigh, "He is so dreamy!" She had always laughed when they said that, and she still thought it rather funny, but now that she had seen him she rather agreed with them. He was tall and lean, with tanned skin and facial features that were unusually chiseled for someone his age, which appeared to be about sixteen or seventeen. His long blond hair was swept over one eye. He glanced at Anya and Nixie and flashed them a mischievous, lopsided grin. As Anya had expected, Nixie began bouncing up and down and squealing like a little rat. Anya gave Jet a polite smile, at the same time pinching Nixie so hard she stopped her hopping and gave Anya an exasperated look.
"What did you do that for?" she grumbled, rubbing her arm.
"I can't have you losing your dignity over a stupid boy," Anya replied. She had never been one to lose her cool over a guy, no matter how dreamy he was; and she was not about to let her friend do so.
"How dare you call him a stupid boy!" Nixie exclaimed indignantly. "He's easily the hottest guy in Silver City." She gazed longingly at Jet as he walked down the hallway.
"We're both only fourteen, Nixie," said Anya. "Neither of us have a chance with him, so we might as well not drool over him like idiots. He--" She stopped as she noticed Jet glance back at her. Their eyes met. She tried to look away but couldn't. Jet grinned and winked at her. Then he turned and vanished around a bend in the hall.
Anya blinked, her cheeks burning, then looked cautiously at Nixie, hoping she hadn't seen what had happened.
She had.
"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!" she squealed, grabbing Anya by the shoulders. "Did you see that?! Oh my gosh he winked at you!!"
"I bet he does that with all the girls," said Anya, her dry throat making her voice husky. "He seems like a pretty big flirt."
"I know; don't you just love him?" Nixie sighed.
Anya didn't have a smart reply ready, so she just said, "Oh, snap out of it. I'm thirsty. Let's go get a milkshake."
"Okay," said Nixie. "Race you there!"
Laughing, Anya ran off after her. But despite all her cool, calm, and collectedness, she could not help but hope that she would see the mysterious Jet Steelsheen again.

Wow, this is very good. At first I didn't know if I'd like it, but I do - it reads smoothly and actually kept my attention quite well.
I can't see anything to critique about, so just keep up the good work!
-Aeritha

the freedom fighters.

Maybe you should capitalize the group name? Also, I hate to say this, but the name "freedom fighters" is associated with several other things in real life, so I personally would suggest changing the name of the group.

She stopped as noticed Jet glance back at her.

I think you're missing a word here.

Anya looked curiously at Jet Steelsheen as he walked in, wondering what he looked like and what kind of person he was.

I feel like I'm completely over-analyzing this, but I find it a little odd that she's looking at him, while at the same time wondering what he looks like. I may just need to get some more sleep or something, so this is totally up to your own discretion.

I especially enjoyed this since I already read part one about the escape. I look forward to reading more of your work.

It was common knowledge among the students at the Academy that he was the leader of the Freedom Fighters, a mysterious band of rebels who devoted their considerable skills to resisting the Imperial rule. However, they were very careful to keep this valuable information from the ears of the teachers and the Headmistress, who would no doubt report him to Her Majesty's police force if they found out.

I find it a little hard to believe that something known as common knowledge wouldn't reach the ears of a teacher, headmistress, or police of some kind. I know you said they try to keep Jet's position as head of the resistance a secret, but it would be hard to keep such a thing that's known by so many people (Some of which are bound to gossip (Especially since they're girls (no offense to any girls reading this (including you warrior princess)))) quiet for too long. Someone is bound to over hear. I'd suggest having everyone know him, but not who he really is or does. It would add more of an air of mystery to him. This is mostly my opinion, though, and It's one of those things that's up to you, the author, to decide to do. It's not so illogical that no one wouldn't buy it. Especially if you heavily play upon the card that everyone fears and hates the headmistress to no end, and that's why it's kept such a secret. I'm just a personal nitpick about such things.

He was exceptionally handsome; or, as her friends would often sigh, "He is so dreamy!

Hehe. This made me laugh. Reminds me of my sister.

Once again, like your other part of this story, I was exceedingly entertained. This is a great story you got going here, and I like all the characters (Anya's friend may be a bit hyper, but oh well). I like Anya since she's such a contrast to the googly eyed girls in the story, and I like Jet (Mostly because of what I learned in the other part, but he was still interesting enough here). They seem like a fun hero and heroine to follow in a story. Good luck, and keep it up. I'm really into it.