Ali Williams jumped down from the wall, in the process knocking his bag of the wall.
We swept a blond lock of hair from his brown skin. Ali was 5ft 8 and was 14, he lived in East Suseex in a quiet town named Battle, near hastings.
And if this your excerpt of your story, this isn't enough to critique, if you know what I mean. Look around the forums and try to find a sample story to see what an appropriate length is.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
i agree with the other commenters, but i think that you really need to write more on this story. But aways remember never let anyone put you down on your storys (love Jack)
i don't really care anymore if people hate me,
i'm used to it, so don't bother saying anything to me, because you know that i really don't care!
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