Young Writers Society

Prologue: ( the last letter) (working title)

i awoke with a start, i had just dreamed that i was falling again, but this dream was different from all the others because it was really happening. It was really happening to my brother, Kai. My brother and i have a strange connection, if something happens to me, that night my brother would dream what had happened to me and the same with me.

It all started a year ago i had just turned 17 and my brother has just turned 19, when he got the letter, the letter that would change everything. Kai got a letter saying that he had to go to war. Little did i know that that day was the last time i would ever see my brother...Alive.

I like this start, but you should work on your grammer a lot.

Also, I always find that it's a lot easier to write about people who are an age close to you, because you don't know what it is like to be the age you are talking about.

Hope that helps!

RR*

thanks roxanner but i normally write storys about boys as the main character and around my age but this time i wanted to push the boat out further

These type of intro's where you write in first person are confusing and in a sense annoying. I have found out that stories written in first person tend to lack. Mainly they are confusing, yet also the Main character seems to lack emotion and it is hard to identify/express/explain the emotion of other main characters or sub characters when it is all from his or her (MC) point of view.

Its and interesting idea, i just think it should written differently for a more effective piece of writing. Also the little '...' part isn't needed, just put the alive right there.

thanks i'll keep that it in mind

thank you every one who helped me with my grammar i really mean thanks because i know my grammar was and still is terrible but thanks for all the tips and things

Okay. Answer me something. Why should I bother helping you, when you don't bother to use basic grammar? And when I say basic grammar, I mean grammar that six year olds know.

Don't give me the 'I just don't get grammar' stuff. You know how to capitalise your sentences and use commas. So do so. And th other things, learn. I had to. So just do it. There's really no excuse for not.

-Fantasy