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Another starless night. It seems that even the stars have left me all alone. How much longer must I wander, how much longer must I wonder? Where am I, who am I? It seems so long since I have seen another person here in the grassy wasteland. Where did I come from; where am I going? Ahead? There’s no reason to move back I suppose.
It’s cold, the solitary tear rolling down my face seems to have froze there, unmoving. No! I cannot cry, I must move on. I have to find food for tonight.
The creature was right up front, as I noticed from my hiding spot behind the bushes. I didn’t know what this creature was. Maybe it was nameless, like me. Either way, I knew I needed food or I would get that painful sensation in body. The sensation that not only hurt in itself but brought overall weakness as well. But I’ve never hunted a living creature before. I use to live off this abundant supply of food in the building. But as all things, it soon ran out. So I left the building, the place where I lived for so long and searched for food. Something, anything, to eat.
The small animal began moving away. I had to catch it now, or it would escape. Slowly, I crept out of my hiding spot in the bushes. I sprinted towards the animal, closed my eyes, and leaped onto it, grasping it with all my might. I slowly peaked open my eyes to gaze upon my catch.
It’s not here! How is that possible? Looking to the left and right, I noticed a white tail retreating into the bushes. I had failed to catch it, failed to catch my food. Distraught, I turned around and laid on my back. My eyes became heavier and heavier. Perhaps I would try again later, or maybe this was the end. I pushed those thoughts out of my head and imagined I was safe. Safe in a home with someone looking after me. Soon, it began to drizzle, and the drizzle grew larger into rain. The droplets of water fell onto my face, each becoming bigger than the last. In a way, this rain was like the world’s way of crying. It is this crying that echoed throughout the rest of nature, this crying that matched the crying in my heart.
Just as I was about to fall asleep, perhaps never to wake again, the rain suddenly stopped splashing onto my face. Opening my eyes slightly, I saw a figure standing over me, blocking out the nighttime rain. The darkness prevented me from seeing this person’s features and soon, my body lost interest. As I drifted into sleep, my mind wondered who this person was and what was he doing here. But soon, even my mind had lost interest and the world became oblivious to me.
Soft, the surface beneath me was soft in contrast to the hard rock ground that I recall laying upon when I fell into darkness. Where was this new place? I wondered silently in my mind. Slowly, I opened my eyes to take a better look at my surroundings. The environment seemed to be that of a small room. There didn’t seem to be much furnishing, a simple table in the middle of the room upon which a solitary tea kettle rested. Beside the table were three chairs, all appearing very old, covered with black stains. Then there was the bed upon which I was laying on, explaining the softness of the surface touching my skin. Directly across from the bed was a door that seemed to barely stay on the hinges. From this door, a man walked in.
“Ah, so I see you’re awake,” the man said in a hoarse voice. The voice wasn’t rough but it was one that seemed burdened with age. Likewise, the man’s hair was grayish white, matching his age. Though he did not seem like a dangerous man, by the way he kept his posture. It was not one that was straight and proud but rather a slouched posture weighed down by time. Soon after this man arrived, another woman appeared behind him.
“Ah, so it is,” the old lady said in a much smoother voice in contrast to the man’s. “So you really have finally woken up. I wasn’t sure if you would for a moment.” She left the room and soon returned with an object in her hands. Handing it to me, she said, “Eat, I’m sure you’re starving.” To me, these words meant nothing; it was like the spring breeze, here one moment, gone the next. I gave her a look of confusion.
“Don’t you want food? Here, I’ll feed you.” The woman took something from the round object, it appeared to be a stick. She scooped up some of the liquid from inside the round object, which I just realized was there. Slowly, she moved the stick closer and closer. “Open wide,” she said. Though I had no idea what that meant, I could now smell the liquid on the stick. Without knowing, or caring, what the liquid was, I jolted forward and gnawed on the stick. Though the stick itself didn’t taste so good, the liquid did. I grabbed the round object with the rest of the liquid in it and began to quaff it down. I could feel the liquid trickling down my throat, soothing my body that was crying out from pain.
After I finished the liquid, I looked up. In the few moments that I was drinking the liquid, another person had entered the room. This person, however, was much younger than the other two people, perhaps my age. His face was mostly hidden in a big piece of cloth that was way to big for him. Occasionally, he would peek up from under his head garment and glance at me. Then quickly, he would shun away and look at the ground again.
“So, mind telling us how you ended up half dead in the middle of no where? You’re very lucky to be alive,” the old man said, looking at me. I just gave him a look of utter confusion and perplexity.
“Do you suppose he doesn’t know how to speak the tongue?” the old lady chimed in. I simply continued looking confused.
“Impossible, he must be six already and can’t speak tongue?” the old man questioned. He reached into his pocket and took out a shiny object. Walking to me, he pointed to the object and said, “What is this?” I just stared.
“I guess you were right, dear. It seems he doesn’t know,” the old man sighed, “I suppose I will teach him.” He pointed once again to the object and mouthed, “Knife.” Knife? What was a knife? I suppose he was referring the object and that the object’s name must be knife. I tried mimicking the sound, the object’s name, “Nnniv”.
“No, no,” the man chuckled, “Knife. Knife.”
“Nnnive, knive.”
“Almost there, knife.”
“Knife,” I said. It was almost identical to the sound the old man had made. The old man smiled at me, I smiled back. And that was the beginning.
After that day, I continued to learn more of this language that the old man and woman spoke. I had no idea how much time had past, it seemed irrelevant to me. My life was absorbed in learning and working around the old man’s house. I later learned that the old man and old woman were married and the boy I saw was their grandson. The boy’s father and mother went away a few years ago. He has been living with his grandparents ever since.
One day, after Grandpa, I adopted the old man to be my grandpa since I had no one else, had finished the day’s lessons, I went off to play in the backyard. There I found the boy, Grandpa’s grandson. I was curious, did this boy have a name? He was about my age and I wanted to know if he knew his name. Grandpa had told me that a person’s name is something they are referred to by and it is one of the most important treasures a person can have; no one can take it away. Grandpa had even given me a name, since I never had one given to me before.
I walked up to the boy and called out to him. He turned around and asked what I wanted. Running up to him, I asked, “What’s your name?”
He seemed a little taken aback by my straightforward inquiry. This was quite noticeable in his sudden shift of eyesight to the blades of grass on the ground. “D-don’t you know it’s rude to ask for other people’s names without first introducing yourself?” the boy half said, half mumbled, “That’s what Grandpa always says.”
“Oh I didn’t know,” I remarked. I smiled at him and responded, “You can call me Zack, Zack Gekkou.”
“Zack Gekkou? What a funny last name,” the boy said, giggling.
“What’s so funny, huh?” I said offensively, “It’s because Grandpa found me on a dark night when the moon was gone. So then what’s your name?”
“My name? I’m, ummm, I’m Koi, Koi Hikari,” Koi said timidly.
“Now that’s funny!” I pointed out, starting to giggle.
Koi puffed up his cheeks and lunged at me. Catching me completely off guard, we both tumbled to the ground, rolling around trying to stay on top of the other. Though it may have seemed like an aggressive conflict to outsiders, smiles were present on both our faces. From that day, whenever I was with Koi, I was with him laughing.
“Hey Zack, do you think you’ll every meet your parents?” Koi asked while we were sitting in the garden looking at the fluffy white clouds.
“I hope so. My parents disappeared when I was really young, so I don’t really remember them too well.”
“Well, I know I’ll meet my parents again one day.” Koi turned around and stared at me. Looking me right in the eye, he said, “I’m sure of it.” The fiery passion in his emerald eyes said it all. It was this determination that gave me hope of finding my parents, wherever they may be.
Another day like any other, or so it appeared to be. As usual I woke up later in the day when the sun was already quite a ways into the sky. Grandpa told me this was a bad habit, waking up late. But I couldn’t help it; I was always tired. Plus, it has sort of become a necessary habit. When I was living alone, no one ever told me to wake up or go to sleep. I would often just look up at the stars and somehow fall asleep, whether with exhaustion or a tear.
Trudging along, I went to the washroom. The washroom was nothing grand. It was a small room, about five feet long and wide. In the corner was a hole used for getting rid of bodily fluids and such. In the center of the room, against the wall was a simple faucet used for washing up. Since the washroom was so small, there wasn’t any room for a bathing area. So, in order to bath, we had to go out back where there was this huge tub for bathing. As anyone can imagine, it would be extremely cold in the winter, so I didn’t take many baths in the winter. However, Grandma always said I should even if I was reluctant. She told me that she didn’t want her children looking and smelling like they lived in a pigsty for a few months, though that didn’t really sway me. But I always ended up taking a bath anyways. Usually, Grandpa always got the water for the baths by himself, since we were too young. But one winter day, when I was eight, Grandma suggested that we should go and help Grandpa get the water, since we were bigger now. I remember that day very clearly.
Late in the morning, us three, Koi, Grandpa, and me, went to the frozen pond way out back in the backyard. We had to walk a pretty far distance and go down a slope to get there.
“Be careful going down the hill,” Grandpa said, “It can be very slippery especially with all this snow on it.”
After we went down the slope slowly, we reached the frozen pond at the bottom. The pond itself, though not too big, was large enough for Koi and I to slide around on. We slipped and slidded, destined to bump into each other and knock the other down. Then we got up and argued whose fault it was that we collided.
“Why did you bump into me?” Koi accused.
“It’s your fault for turning so fast!” I’d retort.
“Your fault!” Koi shouted.
“Yours!” I shouted louder.
Soon, we were in a shouting contest to see who could yell louder. It continued until Grandpa bear-hugged both of us and picked us up. Koi and I would squirm and laugh, all the while yelling for Grandpa to let go.
After we all calmed down, Grandpa got out the tools to get water for our baths. There was a wedge-thing, that’s what Grandpa called it. To me, it looked like a very straight stick. It was black and had a flat end and a sharp pointy end. Grandpa also brought a tool called a hammer. It was also black and looked like a rock attached to a stick. Lastly, Grandpa had a bucket to carry the water we would get from the pond. Once Grandpa got all the tools ready, we began the actual process of getting water.
Grandpa first stuck the black wedge into the frozen pond. Then Grandpa took the hammer and began hitting the wedge.
“I want to try, I want to try!” Koi exclaimed.
“No, me first,” I pleaded to Grandpa, pushing Koi out of the way. He pushed back and next thing we knew, we were rolling around on the frozen pond, each trying to get an advantage, a leverage, over the other. Once again, Grandpa had to bear-hug us and said, “Why don’t you two take turns? Zack, you go first and then Koi will go.”
“But Grandpa…” Koi began to protest.
“No buts,” Grandpa cut in.
“Fine,” Koi accepted though unsatisfied.
So Grandpa let us down and I went to retrieve the hammer.
“Now, hold the hammer in both hands and carefully hit the wedge with the hammer,” Grandpa instructed, holding my hands as they held the hammer. Grandpa guided my hands up and then suddenly down, hitting the wedge. When the two objects collided, a crisp ping sound echoed from the objects.
“You see?” Grandpa began, putting down the hammer, “Just like that.”
So I reached for the hammer so that I could try to hit the wedge by myself. The hammer was a lot heavier when I was just holding it alone. So when I picked it up and raised it high like Grandpa did, I ended up losing my balance and slipping on the ice.
“Ouch,” I cried out.
Grandpa and Koi both laughed aloud and I joined them in laughter soon after.
“Watch a man do this, Zack,” Koi boasted as he reached for the hammer. I watched in awe as Koi smoothly lifted the hammer high into the air, far above his head. The hammer appeared suspended there for a moment as I looked on, amazed. Then Koi began bringing the hammer down and…he lost his balance and fell down right next to me. At this, Grandpa let out a hearty laugh, with Koi and I laughing along.
“How about leaving the hammering to me? You two can take turns carrying the water bucket back to the house.” So Grandpa began hammering the wedge into the ice. Soon, there was a crack and the ice broke through. Where there was once ice, Grandpa had created a small hole in the pond, large enough to draw water from. Grandpa took the bucket and dipped it into the water. Then he lifted the bucket that was now half full of freezing cold water. Koi and I both dashed over to Grandpa and felt the cold bucket.
“It’s super cold!” Koi and I both shouted in unison, pulling our unshielded hands back. Grandpa was the only one who had a cloth covering his hands because Koi and I had both refused Grandma when she offered us hand coverings. The coverings were too tight and I couldn’t move my fingers.
“Who wants to bring the water back first?” Grandpa asked.
“Me, me, me,” Koi and I both volunteered.
“OK, how about Koi first,” Grandpa suggested.
“Aww,” I moaned while Koi let out a big Yay.
For the next hour or so, Koi went back and forth between the pond and the house, transporting the cold water. When Koi was coming back from his third trip to the house, I ran up to him and grabbed the bucket from his hands. “Grandpa!” I exclaimed, “Can I try getting some water?”
Grandpa thought for a moment and replied, “Fine but be careful not to fall into the pond. And here,” Grandpa said taking off the cloth from his hands. “put these on.”
“Do I have to?” I whined.
“Yes you do, Zack. The water is very cold,” Grandpa said sternly.
“Fine,” I reluctantly agreed, taking the cloths and putting them on my hands. Then, excited, I ran towards the hole we made in the icy pond, bucket in my hand. As I ran towards the pond, something gleamed in front of me on the ground. Though there didn’t seem to be anything there, as I ran onto the shining area, I suddenly lost my footing and fell down face first, the bucket flung to the side. My momentum pushed me forward and, still in shock from the sudden fall, it never crossed my mind to stop myself. So I kept sliding forward for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was just a few seconds. In front, the hole in the pond grew closer and closer. Finally coming to my senses, I tried to turn around so that I would be sliding feet first. That way, I figured I could get a better grip to stop myself. However, now I was on the icy pond, the hole probably only two or three feet away. I tried desperately to grab onto something, but the ice provided no holding. Since I was running before, my speed was too great for just friction to stop me. With no way to stop myself, I plunged feet first into the hole. My feet suddenly dropping acted as a lever and swung my head against the opposite side of the hole. My head banged on the rough edge of the hole and then my body sank into the dark, cold pond.
I attempted to swim up, but I didn’t really know how. Also, my vision was starting to blur, probably from bumping my head against the ice. The struggling began taking its toll as my body craved for air. I tried taking in a deep gasp with my mouth but all that rushed in was icy water. My body began turning numb; my vision blurred so much that all seemed a shade of dark blue. I reached out my hand in a last effort to reach the surface, but I already sank too deep. The light from the hole that I fell into seemed so far away now. I began losing consciousness and the world grew silent and darker. All I could hear was my own heartbeat, racing to bring the non-present air to the rest of my body. I remember using my last breath calling out for help, but my cry was swallowed by the surrounding water. A sudden emotion over took over my body but I wasn’t sure what it was. Unable to think clearly, the feeling quickly left my mind. In the distance, I heard a splash, but perhaps I was hallucinating. As my eyes slowly closed, so my consciousness slipped away too, letting me be enveloped by the lightless and merciless water.
“Zack, Zack,” the words echoed through my mind. What was Zack? Ah, I remember: the name given to me by Grandpa, the man who adopted me. Where were my real parents then? Had they abandoned me? Left me all alone? Why did they abandon me? Was it because I’m worthless? If I am, what’s the point of me living still; why am I able to think right now?
Perhaps I have died, these ideas that are bouncing around in my mind were but a residue of my conscious, questions and emotions that were hidden deep down and never answered or expressed. Perhaps I had died, yet I felt something tugging at my very existence, pulling me away from the dark emptiness of death. Above, a point of light appeared and began increased in size exponentially. The light swallowed the darkness that had engulfed me and it was at that instance of complete light that my eyes opened once again.
The light that I had seen before was likely from the sun that was now high overhead. I squinted my eyes trying to figure out where I was but everything was distorted and hazy. All I knew was that I could feel the cold, hard ground underneath me, probably the frozen pond. I could hear soft murmuring though it sounded so far away.
Then I suddenly realized I was holding my breath the whole time I’ve had my eyes opened. Compelled by my body, I took a huge gasp and let cool, crisp air flow into my lungs that were so long deprived of air. After my intake of air, a sharp pain followed near my chest. I winced at the pain and probably yelped a bit because soon the voices drew closer. I identified the voices to be Grandpa and Grandma. Both were now hovering over me and though their figures were vague, I was sure it was them, especially when they spoke to me.
“Ah, seems you finally awoke,” Grandma’s voice said. I tried to move my head so that I could get a better look at her but my muscles refused to budge. “Now, now,” Grandma reassured, putting her hand on my head, “Don’t strain yourself. You just underwent a life or death situation after all.”
“That was a pretty close one,” Grandpa said with a slight chuckle. But this chuckle seemed more like a forced laugh to lighten the mood than the hearty one before.
Where’s Koi, I suddenly thought. I couldn’t hear his voice anywhere. I tried to ask the question aloud but it just came out as a moan.
“Hush now Zack,” Grandma said, “You need some rest. I’ll tell you everything when you get better. So just rest for now.” Though reluctant, I had no choice. Besides, my eyes had begun drooping by themselves. Unable to stay awake any longer, I shut my eyes and let my exhausted body rest.
“Zack!” a voice belonging to Grandma called from the kitchen, “Hurry up and get washed. No time for dilly-dallying or breakfast will get cold. Zack!”
“Ok, Ok!” I yelled back, “I’ll be there soon.” I turned on the faucet and a small stream of water began flowing out. Grandpa always told me to save water since it was a big hassle to fill the water tank outside, especially after what happened last winter. I cupped my hands together to collect some water. Then taking the water, I splashed it on my face. The cold water felt refreshening after a long night’s sleep.
A sweet scent of baked potatoes and pancakes wafted into the bathroom. It smelled delicious and my stomach began to rumble, craving for food after being deprived all night. I hastily finished washing up and turned off the faucet. My flashback of last winter rapidly vaporized from my mind as I dashed into the kitchen. Grandma and Grandpa were already there. Grandpa was at the table reading some book; I could read some of the words but there were so many long, hard words that I couldn’t even understand the meaning of the book. Grandma was at the stove cooking pancakes that smelled so good that my mouth began to water. I quickly took my seat to the right of Grandpa, facing the stove and where Grandma worked. Grandpa looked up from his book as I sat down in my chair.
“Didn’t I tell you not to wake up so late? The sun’s already high in the sky,” Grandpa scolded.
I put on my best innocent face and said in a straight, responsible tone of voice, “ I’m sorry, Grandpa. I’ll try to wake up early tomorrow.” Of course, everyone in the room knew the truth behind that statement, that tomorrow would never come. Grandpa and I burst into laughter.
“Guess it can’t be helped,” he sighed.
“Geez, Zack. If you can’t wake up early, at least have the decency to change your clothes once in a while. You’ve been wearing the same T-shirt and shorts for a month!” Koi criticized as he walked through the door behind Grandpa, carrying an armload of wood.
“It’s only been three days since I’ve been wearing this shirt,” I countered, acting offended, “You always exaggerate!”
Putting down the pile of wood next to the door, Koi looked up at me and said, “Well either way you should wake up once in a while and help me…”
Grandpa interrupted, “Already said that.”
“Oh, I see,” Koi replied, “But today was my turn to scold him!”
“Eh!?” I exclaimed, “Since when is there a reservation for who can scold me!?” At this everyone laughed. Koi took his seat across from me as Grandma handed out plates and food. When everything was set, we began eating. Of course, Koi and I had our usual eating contest to see who could eat breakfast faster. Though this usually ended in one of us choking and gasping for breath. Surprisingly this time no one choked. However, it ended with both of us putting down our forks at the same time. Obviously, I couldn’t just let this go.
“I won,” we both declared to each other, then followed each statement with a glare for the other.
“I won,” I argued.
“No, I did,” Koi retorted.
“I did,” I yelled.
“I did,” Koi shouted. It went back and forth until we were both too tired and out of breath. Grandpa and Grandma both just looked on at us and smiled. When we could yell no more, Koi and I just stared at each other and burst out laughing. While laughing, I looked at Koi and couldn’t help but realize how much he had changed since last winter. Not just his clothes because now it was almost summer. Not even his physic for he did grow an inch or two taller. Now he was taller than me even though we were both eight and a half. No, not just that. The way he acted changed. I couldn’t quite place it: more responsible? Having more fun? Anyways, it was a positive change but I had to wonder if it had something to do with last winter, a winter full of memories, one that I would never forget even if I wanted to.
When I had awakened from my rest, I was once again in my bedroom. The sheets were pulled over me snuggly so it was quite warm in my bed. I was now able to move my head around and saw Grandma walking in through the door on the far side of the room.
“Ah, so you’re awake. Thank goodness. I thought you were going to keep sleeping forever.”
“How long have I been sleeping?” I asked.
“Eh, about two days,” Grandma replied as if it was no surprised that I slept so long.
“What! Two whole days,” I gasped suddenly getting up. Pain shot throughout my body and forced me to lie back down.
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