Wits of Rich and the Poor
Everyday, unusual things happen that can easily be avoided. If you see a turtle dancing and talking, you can merely just go into denial and walk away. However, fact is there is a turtle dancing and talking, but you just avoided some time with the men in the white suits who also are going into denial. Point is, things can be avoided if we choose to. But what if we choose to stare at the turtle and not know what that choice will do for us? If you read the rest of this story, you have chosen to watch the talking, dancing, turtle.
In a small town, not far from here, is a tree that tells an unlikely tale. This is a very tall tree near a bridge and is full of fruit difficult to remove, but so very delicious. A poor man with no home and only about enough money for half a month’s rent in the crappiest apartment in town and a pet who he loved so much always passes this tree and wondering, “What can I do to taste those fruit?” The man’s name is Tom and he does not like to work.
There is another man involved in this woeful tale who also walked under the tree everyday. This man was incredibly rich and wealthy but only thought, “How can I get more money?” He had all he wanted, but he wasn’t bright and only thought about the present. This man’s name is Willard, or Will, for short. Each man walked under this tree but had never met or noticed the other, due to preoccupation, until an accident happened that will change each of these men’s life forever. One of these men will get all they desire and more.
On a slow and humid Monday morning, the men meet at the tree, accidentally. As Tom always stopped pondered at the fruit he wished to eat, Will walked on Tom’s dog’s tail and it snapped at Will. As Tom was trying to pull the growling dog away, he tripped Will in his brand new suit into a murky, smelly, grotesque, muddy, and slimy puddle. Tom was angry that Will stepped on his best friend and Will was mad that Tom tripped him (unintentionally) into the puddle and now his perfect new suit is ruined.
“Watch where yer’ going retard! You stepped on my dog!” cried Tom.
“Me?! You get your filthy mutt out of my way and now you owe me a new suit!” yelped Will who just found Tom was incredibly poor.
Each stared into the other’s eyes with intent to throw the other over the bridge. It is at this time an unusual dilemma has happened.
“Since neither of us can agree who’s fault it is, how about a bet.” started Tom.
Each of the angry men found a bet would be perfect to fulfill each other’s wishes. Tom could get fruit for himself and his starving dog. Tom finally had a witty idea to win. Will could rob Tom of all he has and walk away with everything. Will didn’t care what he had to do since he already lost his best suit. The game was on.
Tom started his bet; “How’s about you climb this tree and get two fruit down. You cannot fall or I win. No hiring either.”
Will finished; “And you must get me a new suit of linen and bring me 100 people to this tree so they can see you lose. If I climb this tree and get you two fruit before you can get me a new suit and 100 viewers, I win and I get your dog, all the money you have, and we throw you over the bridge.” Will knew his bet was much more difficult but it was up to Tom.
The poor man thought hard and looked at his dog with sorrow, but proudly said, “I accept. In fact if all goes right, I will only have to say I win and I will be happy.”
Willard was puzzled by this statement but shouted, “Then let the games begin!”
Will tore off his suit and used it as a helping tool to get up the tree. He scrambled several times and threw a fit as Tom was already running to a shop. The nearest shop was about a mile away and Tom was already almost a fourth of the way there as Willard finally figured out how to get up the tree. The poor scum entered the shop but was shooed away by some keepers. He brought out his wallet and told them he wanted a suit. They finally let him in but only let him try one suit on. It was black with fine white stripes that really couldn’t be seen. Tom looked very spiffy and had no other choice but to purchase the suit with all the money he had. By this time, Will was on his third attempt to one fruit but only had 2 more feet to go.
“Almost there, ehhuhuh” Will coughed. He touched one of the fruit as 5 people stood by staring in disbelief as if they are seeing the dancing talking turtle.
“Woo! I got one!” He slid down the tree one foot and yelped, as one foot was cut slightly and caught on a trunk. The fruit dropped into the water under the bridge.
Willard cried, “Nooo! No, No, No!” tears came out and rolled along his red face. Will held his disgusting suit with one hand and grabbed the fruit with his right. He slowly removed it from the tree and held it between his hand and head and slowly got down. He was half done with one fruit down and one to go. Ten people were around him now thinking he needed medication or attention so one called the cops. Tom was already at a park and gathered 65 people.
“Alright now, would anyone like to see a spectacle of dramatic proportion for free? First hundred people get free food on me.” yelled Tom impersonating Will. 65 came out of 80. All were middle class and mostly teenagers or twenty-year olds. The other 15 were parents with children and some were elders that couldn’t recall what Tom had said.
Along the way to the tree 12 people came into the huge crowd from a ball game, 10 came from a restaurant, and 3 came from their homes. Willard was 6 feet from getting to the top of the tree and grabbing another hard fruit when he saw the crowd behind his opponent and was shocked and stooped to see this. Tom looked back and saw his crowd had increased. Tom chuckled and whispered,“ I have won”.
Will shouted, “Ha! I already have the last fruit and you are still not here yet! I will win Hahahaha!- No!” As Will shouted, he dropped the fruit into the water again a swore at the top of his lungs, “@%$****23@!^^&$!” By that time, the police, ambulance and a small fire team came, along with Will and his crowd 10 seconds away from meeting at the tree and beating Will.
Willard, not even thinking of what he was doing, grabbed the fruit with both his hands and yelled “I will win!” Willard plunged to the floor before the crowd’s feet. All panicked and yelled as they had just seen a death of carelessness, except for Tom and his dog. Tom checked to see if Willard had any chance of survival and caught Will’s old suit with his wallet full of money and took it quick.
Finally Tom (with a new linen suit, 100 interested followers and a full wallet and 2 grasps of fruit) whispered into Willard’s ear and said “ I won.”
-"Anonymous"
This story reminded me of a fable. It made me laugh, too.
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