Young Writers Society

Ever since Jamie was 6 she wished for a happy ending like in those fairy tales that you hear when you're young. Since Jamie's family was rich, and believed in arranged marriages, her parents told her she was to marry Alexander Rome when she was 17. The worst person to be around (concerning her).So much for the "happy ending". She hated this idea so... soon toward the marriage she told all her friends that she was to run away. If they wanted to come they were to meet her in the Mucua park at 12'o'clock midnight on hollows eve. Then when everyone was there she told them the plan. THE PLAN: walk all the way to the train station (about a mile from where they were), and then go from England to NY city. When her parents woke that morning around 6am they ran to Jamie's room in a worry of her to be missing. When they arrived to her room and found nothing they panicked and called the police. The police searched everywhere in England and even gathered a search party but they couldn't find her so they sent out a want message to the United States.



The rest will be in about a week maybe less hope you liked it though and i dont want any tips please and thank you!!!

Good story, I hope you continue writing good topic, I would love to read next one.

Okay, I think this is the makings of a good story, but you need to remember a few things.
First, even a short entry like this needs paragraphs. Remember that the next time you write.
Second, Spell out New York.
Third, and finally, put dialogue in your story and describe their surroundings, clothes, and how they feel. Then we can begin to understand the character and the situation.

Keep writing! PM me when you finish the next one!

the idea sounds like it could be fine, but they way you wrote it was rushed. it seemed like the outline of a story, not an actual story. you need to put in some description, some pacing... some real writing... this isn't a story, it's an idea for one.

I agree, it was rushed. And, don't use abbreviations like NY, spell it out. Use imagery so readers will get drawn in and can see it in their heads.. The idea is awesome, it just isn't written too well. PM me when you update it.

great start, but i think you could add a little more, i agree as well, it was rushed. those are just my thoughts, it's great so far!

Hi
I really like your beginning sentence, and I think if you carried this emotion throughout your writing it would be more interesting. The rest of it sounds more like a newspaper story; you're rushing to get a lot of facts in rather than elaborating on thoughts that the characters have. I'd like to read more of this though; your ideas are very interesting.
Just thought I'd add that Runaway is spelled with only one n