Young Writers Society

This story was written by my little brother, Armando. He wanted me to publish it to the world and here it is... Enjoy it!



Right now I am in a boat to Hawaii, my award for solving an incredible case. Do you want to hear it?

Everything started in the supermarket, when I saw an employee that hided a tomato sauce on his pocket. Walking all nervous, he went directly to the department store and I rapidly suspected of him.

Then, I started to investigate harder. I went to my home-office, I sat on my “thinking chair” and I thought... “Why someone would steal a tomato sauce? I mean they only cost 25 cents,”. Later, I investigated on the Internet, and I Googled: “Things I can do with a tomato sauce.” I learn a lot of things, people use tomato sauces to prepare food, but then I read that in 1944 was the main character of an explosion at McDonald's. “How?,” That's a good question, they put dynamite in the can instead of tomato sauce.

Everybody knows that the criminal always go back to the crime scene, so I went back to the supermarket, and walked really close to the department store. Then, I wanted to go in and two men didn't even let me and kicked me out.
“That was very polite, thank you gentlemen,” I screamed being sarcastically.

Later, I saw the “can stealer” again, he was wearing a green shirt. I thought the green shirt people were accomplices. So I followed the “can stealer” to the grocery store and I watched him greeting another green shirt man. Then I got a little distracted because I remembered I needed a leash for my dog.
“No dog leashes? But they always have dog leashes here,” I said to myself. “That is really suspicious too,” So I sat at the sidewalk and I asked myself “Why are there no dog leashes? And Why are the supermarket employees so close to the grocery store employees? I think they're in this together,”
After that I thought “If they want to explode something, they need someone to rescue them from their own evil plan... DOGS! That means they need leashes, lots and lots of leashes.”

To burst up the hole supermarket they have to have a reason. “Before going to far I have to see what is in the tomato sauce,” and I decided to buy all tomato sauces. I spent $340.25, then I opened them all and I didn't found anything. So I thought the tomato sauces with dynamite where at the department store.
Being totally honest with you I didn't care about spending so much money, anyway I was not paying for it, my boss was.

Later, I thought that the only way to get in the department store was to wear a green shirt, so I went to the mall and bought one. After putting on my brand new shirt, I went back to investigation scene. On the back of the building I saw a yellow ribbon that said “Do not trespass” and then I notice something was shining on the floor... it was gold!
So I walked back to my home-office and sat on my “thinking chair”... again.
“They want to explode the supermarket because under it there's gold. Okay, that part is clear, but why are they so close to the grocery store employees?” I rapidly remembered that when I was a kid I was following the river and it passed right behind the grocery store and the “Dog's school”, that were managed by the same man. “Maybe they are training their “heroes” there,” I said to myself. “That's it! They're trading leashes and dog training for gold!”

I discovered it all, I only had to have evidence to prove it. So without thinking it I ran to the supermarket and go into the department store. Guess what? Nobody stopped me. You know why? They didn't saw me. Anyway, I saw some files in a desk, it was a contract.

“I will trade leashes and dog training for gold.” or something like that... it was signed by, Carlos Jupedrán and Pedro Picapiedra. So I took those documents to the police office and they took care of everything.

When I told my boss, he said...
“I'm really proud of you, Manpuddin!” but then I replied...

“Thank you. In fact you own me the money I spend in the investigation.”

“Good, how much did you spend?” He asked.

“Well, I spend $10 on a green shirt,..”

“Hmmm...”

“And for all the tomato sauces I bought, I spend $340.25,”

“What?? You're fired!” He screamed.

“Okay... You can keep the 25 cents,”

For some reason he didn't like that idea, but he had to pay me the $340.25 dollars and $3,000 for solving the case. Now I'm looking for another big adventure on my way to Hawaii.

Aww, tell Armando that this was definitely a very sweet story. I won’t be too critical with this or anything but you have to remember that “explode” isn’t really the word he was looking for. “blow up” would have been better.
More than anything, I love how he added humor to it, especially at the end.

But I think he does have a really cute idea here and he did I nice job of putting it all onto the page.

*thumbs up*

And tell him to keep writing. After all, writing is a learning experience.

Awesome! How old is he?

Haha, I actually rather enjoyed this. Tell your brother to keep writing.

Nate wrote:Haha, I actually rather enjoyed this. Tell your brother to keep writing.

hahaha Thank you, Nate! I'll tell him... *Sol's little brother is jumping all around the house*

Omygosh this is adorable! I actually really quite enjoyed this! Besides a few grammatical and spelling errors this was done quite well. Your brother really does need to keep writing!