Young Writers Society

Hi there! Congratulations on starting your first story
I always love reading about spies

First off, the first few paragraphs are supposed to capture the reader's attention. To me, you simply described every character trait of Lea's, leaving nothing to be discovered by the reader. This is way too much information to be handed out. Also, the sentence structure is a bit choppy, and lacks beauty. Try adding some interesting words or descriptions.

Lea Shadow grew up within the walls of the castle. Born the daughter of a Lady's maid, she would be the maid and companion of Princess Miranda Van Allen. They were the best friends, played all day, told each of the secrets, but Lea would fail to mention one. She was smarter than most men, could complete impossible tasks, could lie to someone and they would never suspect it, and she had the skills that most men did have. The King and Queen eventually appointed her bodyguard of the princess and spy of their county. She received small assignments until she had finished her training. Soon she would have a life changing experience.

They were the best of friends, played all day, told each of the secrets, but Lea would fail to mention one.

She grabbed her clothes that she would be changing into right before the start of her mission.

Here's a good place to add more description. What kind of clothes did she usually wear? What did her spy outfit look like? And while you're at it, maybe you could describe Lea, too. Hair color, eyes.

It fell a couple feet above the ground. She had known that there were no murder holes where she was escaping so no guards would happen by She descended down the rope and was on 2 feet of land before the moat.

It sounds like there were a few typos in this part. Always spell out numbers- two feet.

After running around and fighting better than they could Lea had they tied up and she was questioning them.

I'd like to see you try to write in a fight scene here. How does she fight? I want to know.

The main critique I have for you is to add description. This is so fast paced! Slow it down a bit, and describe everything you can see in your head. I want to know more of what this world is like.
Hope I helped, let me know if you have any questions!
~blacksheep

Sounds like a good outline, if nothing else. There is some tense confusion (she presently leaps into the tree in a past tense story) and some of the words don't quite fit into the writing style. Otherwise, for a story written at six it's pretty good.