Young Writers Society

The sun quietly and slowly went to sleep as the sky drew dark. The once green leaves now looked black as their shadows lay sound asleep on the grey cemented sidewalks. The birds you once heard chirping in the day seemed to disappear as darkness fell. This among all Fridays was a strange one, everyone was locked away safely into their stone built houses, atleast everyone but Steve.
Steve was the son of a carpenter and that of a teacher in one of the Elementary schools in Freeport, Grand Bahama. Growing up as an only chhild was a lonesome experience for Steve as he would be deserted to play with himself in school. Always being rejected he grew timid and natorious was one of the titles his name never seemed to hold, but to everyone he was just simply another reject. Usually, Steve would take long frightening walks in the park at night trying to clear his mind and thoughts. This for him was alone time, but to his overly protective parents just a danger on the lurk for their tender chreub.
Strolling casually down the darkstreets Steve thpught about his life, his parents and his brutal day. Horrible memories of children picking on him and pushing him against desks and chairs sent a sudden shiver down his spine with every instant replay. The crackling of a twig brought Steve back to earth for that moment as he listened attentively. Minute footsteps made their way to ward Steve seeming closer and closer with every step.There was no way to escape the supposed fugitives as Steve quickened his steps. Sweat streamed drop by drop down his face as his heart skipped beat after beat like trying to play a drum but missing the times to come in. What do I do?, Steve begun questioning himself What if It's...., but a sharp pain in his shoulder jabbed the thought. Blood flowed down his arm like water flowing down a waterfall, hitting the floor drip by drip. His knees grew weay and started to buckle and by time he realized what was happening he collapsed onto the ground.
"Is he dead?", questioned a dark husky voices.
"Yeah, I think so", rplied the other.
Quickly running off the maskrd strangers left. There he was lying on the floor left to die. Darkness was a constant sight as Steve cautiously looked side to side for a sign of light and a sign of hope. Light glimmered a few blocka ahead and relief penetrated Steve's body as he slowly made an attempt to get up. He slowly made his way to the door, not sure waht to do next he turned the door knob slowly only to find to his suprise the door was opened.
"Help me", Steve managed to lifelessly get out.
" Go away!" thw e woman shouted. " I can't help you!"
"Please ma'am, pleaded Steve. "I need your help! At least make a phone call for me!"
" You heard me ! Get from my house or I'll call the police!"
" Please ma'am, i'm begging you! Please! Just call the ambulance for me," gasped Steve.
Token by his plea the woman questioned, " What's wrong with you?"
" I-I-I've been shot,"stammered Steve.
Wasting no time at all the woman ran towards the phone and did as Steve requested. Five minutes later, Steve was out of the house and onto a stretch bed.
"Thank-You," he shouted as he was placed into the ambulance. At the hospital Steve excellent treatment and was back at home the neaxt day. Being gracious to the woman who saved his life Steve asked for her name and adress and visited her.He and Steve later became close friends and eventually got married. Now in their hearts and minds it will forever linger of how Steve met his wife.

Hey Drecka!

First of all, you'll want to run a spell check on this! There's a couple of errors in here.

Now, for the actual story commentary!

I want a plausible explanation as to why he got shot! It seems odd that he just randomly got shot and people were making sure that he was dead. That sort of behavior, I think, would be more in line of someone who was shot for a reason. So a little bit of explanation might be good here!

Next, his eventual wife. This shows us how he met her, but it doesn't really hint as to why they eventually hooked up, which I thought was a bit of a shame, since I expected to have at least an idea how this came around. However, you didn't really tell us about this. On a similar note, I would love a description of her too. First impressions are lovely, right?

Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts. Poor Steve! It's a good thing that she was there, right?

Hey. I'll review for you today.

First of all, there is a lot of editing that needs to be done here. There were a lot of tiny typos that popped up all over the place. As Snoink said, spell check will easily fix this and there is no work involved.
I'll point out a few mistakes. Corrections in red.
---->>>

Drecka wrote:The sun quietly and slowly went to sleep as the sky drew dark. The once green leaves now looked black as their shadows lay sound asleep on the grey cemented sidewalks. The birds you once heard chirping in the day seemed to disappear as darkness fell. This among all Fridays was a strange one, everyone was locked away safely into their stone built houses, atleast everyone but Steve.
Steve was the son of a carpenter and that of a teacher in one of the Elementary schools in Freeport, Grand Bahama. Growing up as an only chhildChild. See-easy enough mistakes? was a lonesome experience for Steve as he would be deserted to play with himself in school. Always being rejected he grew timid and natoriousI'm not positive about this but Im pretty sure this is not how you spell this word. Look it up or run spell check on it was one of the titles his name never seemed to hold, but to everyone he was just simply another reject. Usually, Steve would take long frightening walks in the park at night trying to clear his mind and thoughts. This for him was alone time, but to his overly protective parents just a danger on the lurk for their tender chreub.Do you mean cherub?
Strolling casually down the darkstreets Steve thpught Thought, this should be.about his life, his parents and his brutal day. Horrible memories of children picking on him and pushing him against desks and chairs sent a sudden shiver down his spine with every instant replay. The crackling of a twig brought Steve back to earth for that moment as he listened attentively. Minute footsteps made their way to wardTo and ward is one word. Toward. Steve seeming closer and closer with every step.There was no way to escape the supposed fugitives as Steve quickened his steps. Sweat streamed drop by drop down his face as his heart skipped beat after beat like trying to play a drum but missing the times to come in. What do I do?, No comma here, and you just changed to first person here.Steve begun questioning himself What if It's...., but a sharp pain in his shoulder jabbed the thought. Blood flowed down his arm like water flowing down a waterfall, hitting the floor drip by drip. His knees grew weay and started to buckle and by time he realized what was happening he collapsed onto the ground.
"Is he dead?", questioned a dark husky voices.
"Yeah, I think so", rplied the other.
Quickly running off the maskrdMasked? strangers left. There he was lying on the floor left to die. Darkness was a constant sight as Steve cautiously looked side to side for a sign of light and a sign of hope. Light glimmered a few blockaA few blocks. ahead and relief penetrated Steve's body as he slowly made an attempt to get up. He slowly made his way to the door, not sure waht to do next he turned the door knob slowlyYou use slowly far too much. Be careful for over using words. only to find to his suprise the door was opened.
"Help me", Steve managed to lifelessly get out. To get out lifelessly sounds better.
" Go away!" thw eThe woman. woman shouted. " I can't help you!"
"Please ma'am, pleaded Steve. "I need your help! At least make a phone call for me!"
" You heard me ! Get from my house or I'll call the police!"
" Please ma'am, i'm begging you! Please! Just call the ambulance for me," gasped Steve.
TokenToken? This doesn't make sense at all. by his plea the woman questioned, " What's wrong with you?"
" I-I-I've been shot,"stammered Steve.
Wasting no time at all the woman ran towards the phone and did as Steve requested. Five minutes later, Steve was out of the house and onto a stretch bed.
"Thank-You," he shouted as he was placed into the ambulance. At the hospital Steve excellent treatment and was back at home the neaxt Next day.day. Being gracious to the woman who saved his life Steve asked for her name and adress and visited her.He Shouldn't this be she?and Steve later became close friends and eventually got married. Now in their hearts and minds it will forever linger of how Steve met his wife.

Overall this needs a lot of work. A quick spell check should do the trick. Always be careful of minor typos that loook awful reading through.

Your plot wasn't too bad but was terribly rushed. We didn't grasp the story much and somethings just didn't maek any sense at all. Like the way he got out of hospital the day after being shot. That doesn't happen. Being shot is very serious, he would have had to lost a lot of blood.
We also didn't get any inlook to how steve actually met his wife. We don't know her at all and am I right in saying that getting to know her was the whole point of the story?

Just a couple of things. I would keep writing this and look over it well.

Keep trying. Good luck
Kaka xx

Thanks i really appreciated your opinion.... i will try:)

It feels rushed and a bit more contrived than most contrived love stories. As someone mentioned, it's not explained why Steve got shot, and there's not much chemistry between the Steve and his wife. In some ways it seems like a dream, since nothing is explained. Keep it up and try to flesh it out some more with a bit more characterization. Perhaps detail the future wife a bit more and give her a name. Maybe extend the scene at her house to the moments after she calls the ambulance and before the ambulance gets there.
And yes, you have a bunch of spelling errors. They've been beaten to death already, so make sure to proofread before you submit.
Otherwise, it has promise, if you can work on it.