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Young Writers Society


A Light Without A Dark Angel



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20 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1325
Reviews: 20
Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:34 pm
zinger1912 says...



It was finally time. The time where they would let a small group of kids go out into the city with escorts of course. Living at an all girls academy in the middle of nowhere where it was always cold and wet was not very exciting. So just going out in the little rinky dink town was fine with Lacy Turner who hated every second at Veranda Miss Academy. Although, things had gotten a little better when Mr. Angels came to be their new science teacher and put Becky Stephens in her place.

“Remember don’t leave the group,” Mr. Angels instructed the group of girls.

The group of girls giggled at the new teacher and ran off down the street.

Snow fell slightly in Mr. Angels’ golden hair that matched his gold eyes, “Lacy are you okay?”

“Fine,” she half whispered. Mr. Angels never left Lacy’s side, but she didn’t mind. Becky wouldn’t mess with her if he was beside her all the time.

She watched Becky strut along in front of her attracting everyone’s attention; she whipped her long, silk, black hair at a tall brown headed boy and giggled. Again Lacy wished she could get away from this place, away from these people. Lacy sighed heavily and followed the girls into a clothing store. She stood by Mr. Angels and watched the others go crazy picking out clothes, laughing, wasting away their parents' money.

Another teacher called Mr. Angels over to speak with him and left Lacy by herself. She was tempted to follow him when Becky walked up and watched Mr. Angels go in adulation.

“So you’re not going to buy anything?” Becky smirked as her followers, Brenda and Gerdith walked up behind her.

Lacy muttered something.

“I’m sorry, you pauper, what was that?” Becky laughed.

“I don’t have any money,” Lacy said miserably.

All of them laughed, “Oh yeah, because your mommy and daddy dumped you at the school’s front door.”

Lacy shrunk down in her large coat as they continued to laugh at her. She felt the tears tug at her eyes, but she willed them away.

“What? Are you going to cry, you spineless wimp?” Becky crowed.

Lacy whipped around and ran out of the store into the snow storm that had formed outside. The tears started gushing out running down her face freezing in the weather. She continued to run down the street until she ran into someone.

“I-I’m s-s-so-o-rry,” she chocked.

“Oh its fine,” a man said grabbing her shoulder.

She started to panic as she looked up at his face; he had black hair that fell to his eyebrows and black eyes with a hint of…green? Odd. He wore a black hoodie, blue jeans, and white Nike sneakers.

The man quickly let go, “Oh I’m sorry for scaring you I was just wondering who could make someone so pretty cry.”

This really didn’t make her feel any better. She got some really strong vibes from this guy and they weren’t good. She sniffled her tears back and brushed her blonde almost white hair out of her face and rubbed at her washed out blue eyes.

“Sorry that kind of sounded pedophile-ish,” he laughed. “But a small girl like you shouldn’t be running around in a town like this.”

Awkwardly, she nodded knowing he was right. It had been stupid of her to run away like she had. She agreed when he asked to walk with him and talk. He turned out to be funny, charming, and understanding when she told him about Becky and her constant ridiculing.

“This teacher? What’s he like?” he asked out of the blue.

She stuttered, “Um…he’s nice? Gold hair, gold eyes.” She didn’t know why she told him what he looked like.

Christopher flashed a wicked smile but it vanished so fast that Lacy thought she might have imagined it. But she was pretty sure the green in his eyes had spread. They had reached the cemetery by now; she hesitated before she followed him in. They walked around it until she couldn’t feel her feet anymore.

“Lacy!”

She stopped in her tracks to see who called her name.

Mr. Angels jogged up to them, “Why did you–” he saw Christopher, “Who-who is this?”

Christopher snorted, “Sorry we were going to head back in a second.”

Mr. Angels tensed, “Yeah, we have to go.”

Lacy followed Mr. Angels glancing back at Christopher, he waved and said, “Catcha later.”

Mr. Angels tensed up again and swirled around, “No you will not.”

Lacy flinched away from him. Christopher only laughed and walked away.

Mr. Angles didn’t say anything on the rest of the way back to school. Lacy walked up to her room in shame but she didn’t have any time to feel guilty because the second her head hit the pillow she was out like a light.

There was scratching at her window. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat up. More scratching. Drawing the curtains, she looked for the source of the scratching what met her scared her so bad she fell back on her back. A small, black flying half human-half bat thing with yellow, glowing eyes stared back at her.

“A harpy,” she breathed.

Suddenly, the window crashed letting in thousands of harpies. They tore at her hair and her clothes, she tried to bat them away but they only bit her hands. Finally, she screamed and ran out of the room. The harpies had apparently attacked the other girls first because the hall was crowded with screaming girls and flying creatures. Someone grabbed Lacy’s hand and pulled her away from the chaos.

Mr. Angels led her out into the bitter cold and started out across campus. Lacy shivered in the cold wind and ran after him in the snow with her bare feet. Halfway there Lacy stumbled and fell in the snow twisting her ankle. Mr. Angels turned around to come get her, but stopped in his tracks. Something blocked the moonlight as Lacy turned over. Christopher hovered about three feet above her wearing a smug grin on his face. He helped Lacy to her feet. Mr. Angels unsheathed a sword that Lacy hadn’t noticed before.

“So much easier than last time,” he laughed.

Mr. Angels growled, his gold eyes glowing, “Get away from her.”

“Tsk. Tsk. You of all people should know that I can’t. It’s destiny,” Christopher laughed again. He jerked her up into the sky so now she was clinging to him for dear life twenty feet above Mr. Angels. Christopher’s massive, black wings beat in the night sky making the temperature drop five degrees.

Mr. Angels jumped in the sky unfurling huge, gold wings aiming his sword at Christopher. Christopher unsheathed his own black sword and swatted Mr. Angels away like he was an annoying bug. He shot farther in to the sky, laughing. Lacy – not being the abusive type – wrapped her legs around his leg and her arms around his torso.

“I don’t like heights,” she muttered, surprising herself.

Christopher just laughed flying higher into the sky until someone knocked him out of the sky. Lacy felt herself falling she screamed, flapping her arms. A giant lion with wings caught her and sat her safely on the ground. Her heart was beating loud and fast when a giant, black griffin hit the ground knocking the breath out of her. The griffin picked the lion up then dropped him. Lacy watched the griffin tear pieces of the lion off while the lion bit feathers off the griffin. Finally, the griffin carried the lion off into the sky then dropped him. There was a sickening crunch, then silence.

Christopher landed in front of her smiling cruelly. She shuffled her feet trying to get away from him but her legs were numb from the cold. He picked her up and hauled her off into the night.

She woke up in a filthy motel room. The green paint was coming off the walls, the carpet was tore up, the nightstand had a leg missing, and the whole place smelled of dead mouse. A fluorescent light was spilling out of the bathroom casting an eerie shadow over everything. Memories of the night before came crashing back to her moving her to the door. She tugged on the door hoping that it was so bad rotted it would just fall apart.

“There is no escaping,” the malevolence voice said.

She turned to see Christopher in the bathroom doorway making everything scarier.

“What are you? What do you want?” the questions just came tumbling out of her.

“A fallen angel and the same thing I want every ten or thirty years,” he said coldly.

“F-f-fallen?” she asked again noticing a small window above the bed.

“You fall when you sin,” he shrugged. “Angel of Envy.”

“Th-that’s why your e-eyes are green,” she said triumphantly.

“You stutter way more than you did the other times,” he disappeared in the bathroom.

“Wh-what?”

No answer. She jumped on the bed opening the window. It was just big enough for her to fit through and they were on the first floor. Preparing herself to climb through the window, a gust of wind whipped her away from the window and into the opposite wall. She felt the warm liquid run down her head and arm.

“You are not going anywhere!” Christopher boomed.

“What is your purpose here?” she cried.

“To kill you,” he yelled solemnly, “and I will keep coming back to kill you until you stop reincarnating!”

She held her head trying to stop the bleeding, “What?”

He smiled kindly, “Every ten or thirty years you show up and mess with me.”

“I just met you,” she retorted.

“In this lifetime, you have but every time you show up you choose Steven over me.”

“Who is Steven?” her vision blurred making her words slur.

“’Mr. Angels’,” he said mockingly.

“He’s…he is my…my teacher,” she protested.

“In five hundred years he has never been to college to get a teaching degree.”

“I don’t understand,” she swayed and fell.

Before her vision went black she saw him smile, a cute, caring smile, “Aziryna or Lacy…I murdered you when you were in heaven when you chose Steven the first time.”

He drew his black sword and walked over to her. Something flashed in her mind; a golden room filled with white curtains Christopher was there but with gold eyes and gold wings. Her heart skipped a beat. She was going to choose him. Not Steven. Steven was nice but he wasn’t funny or charming like Christopher was. They both said they would give up immortality to be with her, a human. It had been long and hard decision but she finally made hers and was happy with it.

[i]Bethany walked up and whispered something in Christopher’s ear, his smile vanished his eyes flashed green. Aziryna sat in front of her mirror brushing her hair when Christopher appeared behind her.


“Christopher, I’m glad you showed up I have something to tell you,” she said happily.

He ran his fingers through her hair smiling, “I already know.”

Confused she got up and said, “You do?”

[i]“Bethany told me,” he said pulling her close
.[/i]

“What? Christopher? What’s wrong with your eyes?” she asked worriedly.

[i]He smiled and kissed her on the forehead, “But I don’t think I can bear it, you being with Steven.”
[/i]

“What are you talking abo–” she started but he drew his sword and stabbed her in the gut.

“So sorry, Aziryna. I will love you forever,” he muttered softly as he laid her down on the floor.[/i]

Lacy snapped her eyes open, “I chose–”

Christopher brought his sword down on her stomach, her body jerked once.

“I will love you always, Aziryna,” he whispered stroking her hair.
Last edited by zinger1912 on Thu Sep 15, 2011 2:31 pm, edited 4 times in total.
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.
If it's alright, then you're all wrong.
But why bounce around to the same damn song?
I know, you know, that I'm not telling the truth.
I know, you know, they just don't have any proof.
Your worst inhibition's gonna psych you out in the end.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 946
Reviews: 53
Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:04 pm
Preachergirl18 says...



I really like the story it is nice and it has emotion. I love it and I started following you. So if you could follow me that would be nice. I love it and keep up the goods. I love it
  





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11 Reviews



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Points: 1162
Reviews: 11
Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:08 pm
emilybwrites says...



this was fantastic keep up the great work! please read my work and follow me!!!
  





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19 Reviews



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Points: 336
Reviews: 19
Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:13 pm
AngieCandy says...



This was awesome! At first, it had kind of a Madeline type feel to it! Unless you don't know who Madeline is... so..then... never..mind....
I felt bad for the little girl! To me, Becky represents not just your character Becky, but any bully. It represents how even the best or sweetest people always have this one person that makes them small.
I didn't understand how when Christopher killed her, what exactly happened? did she pick Christopher? Or did she in fact pick Steven? That confused me. And they are all angels?
Is this just a short story? Or a novel? I think it has great potential to be a book! :)
I would really really like to hear more about this!
Who's Bethany, also?
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! I loved the suspense and the betrayal and the whole feel of
the story.
Keep writing,
Ang!
"Everybody stares, as she goes by
'Cause they can see the
flame that's in her eyes
Watch her when she's lighting up the night
Nobody knows that she's a lonely girl
And it's a lonely world
But she gon' let it burn
, baby,burn,baby"
  





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Points: 11009
Reviews: 413
Wed Aug 17, 2011 12:26 am
Cailey says...



Very good story. It caught my attention and interest. I like how it started out, like Ang said, like Madeline. Then, it turned into a story about Angels and all. I also liked the references to harpies and griffins. All in all, the story line, the idea of this was great. But, I think this could use some more editting. I noticed several mistakes, minor mistakes-but still very distracting and annoying, and I know reading through it would help. Also, there were some places where I know you could have worded better, added more discription or more detail. So, edit, but other than grammar and spelling it was a very good story.
A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. -Kafka

Look: A Link! https://caijobetweenthepages.wordpress.com/
  





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20 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1325
Reviews: 20
Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:57 pm
zinger1912 says...



Sorry, Its suppose to be italics from 'golden room' to 'he muttered softly'. Yes they are all angels and Bethany is another angel who lied to Christopher and told him that Lacy picked Steven - which she didnt she chose Christopher. Sorry that i didnt make that clear :( i was tryin to copy in paste it in a hurry so i didnt get to read it over. But I did find some mistakes. This is why you should always reread! LOl Thanks for all the comments and praise and the help!
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.
If it's alright, then you're all wrong.
But why bounce around to the same damn song?
I know, you know, that I'm not telling the truth.
I know, you know, they just don't have any proof.
Your worst inhibition's gonna psych you out in the end.
  








There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.
— Christopher Darlington Morley