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Munity Aboard.



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Gender: Male
Points: 1035
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Thu Nov 24, 2011 12:01 pm
Podge says...



The first moment I saw her upon The WindWalker I felt like I'd fallen off the magnificent floating ship, and was drifting upon the winds. She was a breathtaking sight, her hair flowing like the waves far below us, even from this high we could hear them crashing onto the rocky shores of Petersbrough.

One-eye pulled me out of my transfixed state and gave a hearty laugh as he slapped me on the back. "I wouldn't keep my on her for long, my friend. That's the captain's daughter, and from what I've seen, she breaks more hearts than the captain breaks bones." I turned to One-eye, I had been on this ship merely a few hours and already he knows me from inside out. Though I know nothing of his personal life, he certainly leaves an impression of a jolly old soul, with his black trimmed beard and his classic pirate eye-patch. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a parrot for company! It does seem I know as little as the crew do about him though, apart from he's been a part of this crew as long as anyone can remember. No-one even knows his own name! He just insists on everyone calling him one-eye, and gives us a pat on the back and tells us to be on our way now. "A ship is never fit to sail without a worthy crew!" He would always say in a voice that seemed to put even the winds in a good mood.

He was truly fit to be the captain of this ship, though he never seemed to object to the Captain's rash decisions. He just set his mind to his next objective, never questioning the Captain's hidden reasons. If you compare the two folks, One-eye and Captain, you'd see complete opposites. Captain was a thin, good-looking man who would be any girls fantasy, though if it was known to them of his red-hot temper and had a scowl that never seemed to leave his face. They'd drop him like a log. Although when the Captain does come out, which he rarely does from what I've seen. Their is a downright look of respect from every member of the crew. The Captain must have done some commendable acts for the crew to look right through his violent demeanour.

After a long day setting off from Petersbrough I hed down into the cabin to hear a loud shout coming through the nearest door. "I tell you, he's mad!" I turned the handle to the door, it opened, to my surprise and there standing before me were the crew. Everyone turned to me, and through the crowd I could see One-eye, he ushered me in. "Come, sit down Gareth, we have many things to discuss." There was a few objections from the crew, but before I could hear their reasoning, One-eye completely out of character, shouted: "He has much a right to listen to this than any of us!" The remnants of the shout could still be heard a few seconds after he had stopped, the crew were silent and I was bewildered what has put such a jolly guy in such a bad mood.

I sat down on a straight, wooden chair and discussion was starting up again, soon it had advanced from murmurs in little groups to a lengthy discussion at the table. I was starting to get an idea of what the crew was so angry about, the Captain. He had become obsessed with finding a weapon, whoever wields this weapon shall control the seas and the winds and it will bring every skyship to its knees. "This is a weapon of the gods, no mortal should be allowed to have that much power." The voice was sweet and gentle, even with the harsh tone of her voice, she stepped out from the shadows, it was the Captain's daughter, Lucy. "There is only one thing that will assure that he never wields that weapon. munity." I was shocked that she could even think to condemn her father to such a fate. Once again the crew grew out of silence and one by one they agreed. In what seemed like minutes it was my turn, though I'm not sure what to do. I whisper "Aye..." A crowd of cheers erupt from the crew and I know I've done the right thing for them, but what of my guilty conscience?
Penguins are Flipping Brilliant.
  





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Thu Nov 24, 2011 4:03 pm
davidechoe13 says...



i don't know if you have another meaning for this but i think it is MUTINY if that's what you mean i could be wrong but you know. I thought this was very interesting if you felt up to it you could make this a splendid novel. it was good, the ending sped up just a little too quick but that was it really. THIS WAS REALLY GOOD!!
"see yuh matey"
Think of the vastness of a story, What happens when the main character is not around?
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 571
Reviews: 29
Thu Nov 24, 2011 4:25 pm
Benrobertringrose says...



Hello,

A very solid start, I can certainly see this blossoming into a very good novel. You’ve created an interesting likeable character in one-eye, I look forward to developing more of a connection with him and your main character. Good work!

Ben
  








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