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Nano 2023: Snoink's Stuff (aka The Golden Mermaid)



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Sat Nov 18, 2023 5:22 pm
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Carlito says...



WOW WOW WOW. Massive home improvement projects like this never cease to amaze me (let alone when you have SIX little snoinklings running around and you're actively living in the house you're remodeling!!)
& that bay window though <3 <3
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

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I want to beta read your novel!


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Sun Nov 19, 2023 1:43 pm
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Snoink says...



It's... quite a project! XD We were going to work on it last winter but then I got pregnant so we shifted it back so he could help me and only did a handful of minor stuff. But now! It's going to happen. :)

ANYWAY. YESTERDAY.

After looking back at what I wrote for the previous two days (it was a piddly amount... like, 800 words or whatever) I decided to scrap that and start again. Which is a BOLD move, especially so late in the game, but also I think it paid off because I am starting the day with 28936 words. Which is still below word count, but I essentially started the day with 25k since I threw away what I had written before, so TRUST ME. It was a good writing day.

Better yet, I could have written more, but I decided to stop because I had just finished a scene and the next scene is going to be the heist scene where he tries to steal the bird!!!

Anyway! I was totally cracking up yesterday as I wrote because WHAT. It was just hilarious. I am so proud of myself for writing such a ridiculous scene. XD

Here is an excerpt:

Spoiler! :
Tristian smiled. “It was a good performance that you did. Very good, in fact. I enjoyed it quite thoroughly. But don’t you think you’ve played long enough?”

Magnus’s eyes grew wide. “Excuse me?”

Tristian smiled, brought out his flute, and gestured to it. “I think it’s time for me to have my turn.”

“Your turn?” Magnus snapped, narrowing his eyes more and sneering at the flute. “Why, of all the conceited things! Who are you? I don’t think I’ve ever met you before!”

Tristian shrugged. “I am better known elsewhere. Over here, I am a stranger.”

“And what is your name?”

Tristian bowed to him. “You may call me Mister Heeyus.”

“Mister Heeyus?” Magnus said quickly, frowning. Then, when he heard himself sat the name quickly, he grew red in the face. “So you think you can pull a fast one on me?” he cried, holding his flute more firmly. “And you say you’re a flutist?”

Tristian nodded. “Of course.”

“Then I challenge you to a duel… of music!” Magnus cried, holding up his flute triumphantly. “Pick a song. Whatever song you want! My band shall be your accompaniment. Then we shall both play and then let the crowd decide which musician is the best! And the winner shall get this street corner! And the loser will have to leave town. What say you?”

The crowd cheered and Magnus flushed in excitement at the roar of the crowd. He turned to Tristian, beaming from the excitement of the crowd, and Tristian knew at once that Magnus was the type of person who took his energy from the crowd — a quality that his father always warned against. After all, a prince was supposed to be a leader, not simply bow down to the mob’s whims. Still, Tristian decided that it was a trait that probably came in handy for a musician like Magnus.

Tristian glanced down at his flute, decided that he wouldn’t be able to play even the simplest song with his awful flute, and then nodded politely to Magnus. “I will let you decide the song.”

Magnus sneered at him. “Are you sure?”

Tristian nodded and stood up taller, glancing at the crowd that surrounded them with disdain. “I can match whatever song you want to play and play it better than you,” he declared.

“Very well then!” Magnus cried, laughing. He turned to his band enthusiastically, his eyebrows furrowed. “Play ‘A Jig of Hope and Wonder’ now!” he cried, waving his flute like a baton.
Immediately his band started up with the accompaniment. Then, after four measures (Tristian counted) Magnus joined in enthusiastically.

And it was a wonderful song! It had flute riffs that stretched across four octaves. Magnus played the flute wonderfully. His fingers seemed to dance and as Tristian listened, he couldn’t help but feel his chest swell up as he watched Magnus play. It was sheer joy watching Magnus leaping around, swaying with the music, and Tristian couldn’t help but feel proud to instigate such art. As Magnus finished up his song with a rousing staccato ending half the city was surrounding them, watching.

And Magnus knew how good he was. He couldn’t stop grinning at the crowd and blowing kisses to everyone who cheered at him. As he finished, a dozen ladies swooned when he bowed low. Then he turned to Tristian, grinning. “Now it’s your turn!” Magnus cried, gesturing to Tristian. “Let’s see how good of a player you are!”

Tristian stepped forward, gritting his teeth and holding up the reeds to his lips. For a brief minute, he wondered what he would do if the magic didn’t work like the wolf suggested. If the magic didn’t work, the wolf had suggested running. But Tristian couldn’t see a way out. Most likely, if he tried to run away, he would be grabbed by the locals and tarred and feathered. Nor would he ever be allowed to come into the city walls again!

But if it did work…

Tristian gritted his teeth and nodded to the drummer and lute player to begin their accompaniment. Then, he counted to his entrance — four measures, he remembered. When it was time for him to join the song, he blew on the reeds as hard as he could.

SQUAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK!

As soon as he blew on the reeds, he froze. In fact, when Tristian scanned the crowd, he saw wide eyes and open mouths gaping at him. Everyone seemed paralyzed in shock by the sound, so discordant and jarring it was. The lute player and the drums player both dropped their instruments in shock. And Magnus the Magnificent sprang up and pointed an accusatory finger toward Tristian.

“Why, you! Imposter!” Magnus cried. “You fraud! You—“

His eyes grew heavy.

Then, just as if someone had snuffed out a light, he slumped over and started snoring along with the entire city. Tristian blinked and looked around at all the people, slumped over and sleeping. He glanced at the wolf, who began to wag his tail happily.

“See?” the wolf said. “I told you it was a magic flute!”


I... crack myself up. XD

Anyway, the next scene legitimately can't have the wolf in it, BUT. It's an action scene where an attempted heist takes place, so hopefully it's exciting, haha. I think I am going to reread the passage over in a couple fairy tales to prep myself and then... WRITE! Hopefully it will be epic.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Mon Nov 20, 2023 4:42 pm
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Snoink says...



And... we're back at word count again! 31,744 words, to be exact. Which is kind of stunning because this only means that I have to write 1.7k words today?? I am used to perpetually being behind and having to write 3-4k everyday at this point, haha, so 1.7k sounds like nothing. Hopefully, I won't slack off and take a day off, only to panic later... which is totally what I've been doing. XD

(No, but seriously, I've been writing at least 1-2k words a day on my free days for the past year or so, which means I've been practicing writing large quantities, otherwise I acknowledge that I would be completely screwed, alas.)

Anyway, yesterday was a AHHHHHH writing day because it's a really intense scene. The heist fails MISERABLY. Tristian is imprisoned and a day is set for him to be executed. The next chapter thingy is called "The Hanging" which gets you a taste of how great everything is going, haha.

Anyway, if I finish "The Hanging" (and... possibly another chapter if I decide to split it up since there's a lot to pack in) I will officially finish Part 2!!! So this is my writing goal for today... finish part 2, lol.

An excerpt:

Spoiler! :
He set the golden bird next to him — the bird remained asleep — and then looked over the golden cage in trepidation. The wolf’s warning still rung in his ears. Tristian shouldn’t touch the cage! He knew that. And yet, when he looked at the cage and saw how strong it was and how beautiful it was, he realized that this was the only cage that could fit such a beautiful bird. Still, he was afraid. If he touched the cage, then everyone would wake up.

But what else could he do?

Tristian took a deep breath. “Lord give me strength!” he muttered under his breath. Then, very cautiously, he went to the cage — and touched it.

Nothing happened. The bird remained asleep. The castle was quiet. Everything was still. The only one who saw him touch the cage was the moon, which gleamed down on him.

Tristian sighed in relief. “The wolf was wrong! I could touch the cage.” Then he glanced down at the sleeping bird. “You will not wake up for anything! I can see that. I will put you in the cage that you belong in.”

He opened the cage — how easily the door swung open! — and grabbed the sleeping bird. Then, very gently, he put the bird in and shut the door.

The bird’s eyes flashed open.


(Please note that Tristian is an unreliable narrator in this scene... the wolf told him that if he put the golden bird into the golden cage, that the whole castle will wake up. Not that if he touched the golden cage, the whole castle will wake up! The wolf warns Tristian of this several times before. Tristian simply misremembers.)

One more excerpt because it's so grim and I love it...

Spoiler! :
Several times, the soldiers would come and interrogate him, asking who he was. But Tristian never told them. Honestly, he couldn’t bear to tell them. What would he say? That he was Prince Tristian, the son of King Adrian from the Kingdom of Halcyon? His father wouldn’t be able to bear the grief if he had known that he had lost all three sons! So he stayed quiet.

Not that it mattered. They found out who he was eventually. Once, one of the soldiers came into his prison cell and called out, “Prince Tristian!” Then Tristian, out of habit, raised his head at the salutation, only to get kicked in the face by the soldier’s boot. “King Dimus sends his regards and requests your presence tomorrow at dawn.”

“King Dimus wants to see me?” Tristian asked faintly. His voice trembled and was so harsh that Tristian barely recognized it as his own.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel hopeful. After all, if the king knew who he was and sent his regards to him, then there was a chance that things might be put right again. And so he wiped the blood off his face, held up his head, and looked at the soldier hopefully.

The soldier laughed cruelly. “Yes! He wants to see you! As I said before, he’ll see you tomorrow at dawn! That’s when you’ll get hung!” Then the soldier laughed, kicked Tristian in the stomach, and closed the iron door.

Once more, it was completely dark.


SEE??? DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER. I need to FINISH this scene, darn it!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Tue Nov 21, 2023 2:34 pm
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Snoink says...



BIG NEWS. I didn't totally procrastinate yesterday! xD (I knoooow. Totally Team Hare here in the Tortoise and the Hare race.)

Starting today at... 33,655 words! Though, technically, I wrote probably a hundred or so words just now on my phone before I pulled out the official laptop, but we'll just say that we're starting with that today, just because.

I did NOT finish the scene. Or Part 2, for that matter. At the last moment, King Dimus pulled off an awesome stunt and who was I to stop him from being awesome?

Not the awesome stunt, but King Dimus is terrible and I am amused:

Spoiler! :
When King Dimus saw him, he laughed. “So, the bird got you!” he said, nodding to Tristian’s face. “Good! When I asked my men if the bird had defended herself and had given you any battle scars, they could not answer me. I am pleased to see that she defended herself!”

Tristian flinched and tried to cover the rags that were loosely bandaged over his eye with his hands reflexively until he realized that his hands were bounded together with irons. Then he sighed and drooped down his head, not sure what else he could say. Judging by the king’s triumphant appearance, he could only guess that he looked very wretched indeed.

“Well?” King Dimus demanded. “You are a quiet one! Have you thought of what your last words that you might say would be?”

“I have not,” Tristian admitted quietly.

“Well, you should think of them quickly!” King Dimus said, laughing. “Do you want to profess your innocence? Most men like to say something of the sort as their last words.”

Tristian grimaced. “Why would I do that? We all know that I tried to steal the bird. Why should I lie in my last words?”

King Dimus suddenly laughed. “You might be quiet, but you’re bold! I like that.”


Today, hopefully, we will finish the scene!
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Wed Nov 22, 2023 5:15 pm
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Snoink says...



Starting today with... 37,058 words!!!

Yes, I did a double day yesterday...

Am I currently ahead in word count? YES. But I probably won't get a chance to write too much during the long Thanksgiving weekend (starting now!) so I already feel woefully behind, lol.

This is my favorite part that I wrote:

Spoiler! :
After several minutes, the wolf swallowed the strip of meat that he had torn off and glanced at Tristian. In between bites, he asked, "Where did you go, by the way? I thought we had a plan, but then you disappeared! After everyone woke up again, I left for the city gates. Then, after several days, I thought you had forgotten me entirely and left to the woods."

Tristian grew red. "When I put the bird in the cage, the bird and the rest of the castle woke up."

The wolf growled. "Let me guess, you put the bird into the wrong cage."

Tristian winced. "I'm sorry."

The wolf tore off a leg and chewed a hoof thoughtfully. "Still, it could be worse," the wolf said. "The king could have caught you and executed you."

Tristian grew redder. "Actually, that is exactly what happened."

The wolf stopped eating at once and stared at Tristian with his head tilted strangely. "You were executed?"

Tristian nodded, then added, "Let me explain."


YES, TRISTIAN, PLEASE EXPLAIN. XD

Anyway, now Tristian is back with the wolf, so hopefully it'll be easy to write. :) Sort of thinking about adding a new scene in the fairytale since Tristian is hungry and the wolf just promised him something to eat... WE SHALL SEE.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Thu Nov 23, 2023 4:36 pm
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Snoink says...



Starting today with 38766 words... apparently, hiding upstairs and nursing the baby is actually good for my word count, lol.

Still going to try to pretend that I am a day behind because I know I am going to lose a day, at least, from visiting and traveling. I can handle being a day behind, but if I am two or more days behind, I don't think I can catch up very easily this late in the game. And I am too close to not try! I want to win Nano, darn it!

The side quest is amusing me... here is an excerpt:

Spoiler! :
The wolf pointed his nose to the door. “Go to the door and knock. When she greets you, remember to tell her that you are the servant and she must talk with me, the master. If you do not do that, surely bad fortune will come upon you.”

Tristian nodded grimly. Then, feeling nervous, he went to the door and knocked.

At once, almost as if she had been waiting at the door for him, the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. When she saw him, her entire face lit up. "My darling!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him. "Why, you look frozen! Come out of the cold at once!" Then, before Tristian could say anything, she pulled him in and kissed him tenderly. "It's been too long, my love!"

It was the first time he had ever been kissed like that, and as soon as their lips touched, Tristian fell deeply and madly in love with her. And part of him wanted to stay in her arms forever, so tempting was her touch. But another part of him was too cold and hungry to fall for her charms. And so he pulled away from her and remembered what the wolf had told him. Trying to gather his wits, he stammered, "You must be mistaken! I am the servant, not the master! My master is over there!"

"Your master?" the woman said, frowning. Then, when she saw the wolf, she scowled at the wolf and pushed Tristian away. "Not you again!"

The wolf only wagged his tail.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Mon Nov 27, 2023 4:52 pm
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Snoink says...



Did I mention that I expected to get behind? XD

41,965. >.>

I... got side-tracked and started working on Swans. Um. Yeah. XD

Since I stated previously that I would count that as words written, I'm just going to add those words, Iol.

I rewrote this scene between Uclepidies and the girls in Book 1.

(Obvs spoilers ahead):

Spoiler! :

Solea blew her nose and leaned on Uclepidies, remembering what Cyrus had said about Theron not being the type to ice fish. Then she thought of her childhood and all of the little moments that she spent with her father, following him around and helping him do what always seemed like an endless amount of chores.

That had been Uclepidies.

Solea closed her eyes. Then, after a moment, she looked up at him and said, “Why didn’t you tell me it was you?”

Uclepidies frowned. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Solea shuddered. “Were you ever going to tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” Uclepidies admitted, frowning more. Then, when Solea turned away from him, he added, “I was afraid to let anyone know, frankly. If you had lived a peaceful life in the mountains where we raised you and nothing special had happened, I would have been happy.”

Solea scowled. “But you must have known that someone would find out eventually.”

Uclepidies shrugged helplessly. “There was a chance that we might have lived in peace. You would have lived out your days with contentment without knowing about the Swans other than Eurodities and Archondid, who loved you as their godchild without knowing you were mine. It would not have been a bad life.”

“It was a foolish dream,” Solea said bitterly.

“Perhaps,” Uclepidies murmured. Then, when Solea grimaced and turned away from him, he added, “The last child born of the original Swans became a Conqueror, and it was through me that she became as powerful as she did. I was afraid that if any of my siblings knew of your existence, they would hate you before they even knew you. As it is, I fear the only reason why most of them tolerate you is because Alainna is the Lady and you were related to her. Aside from Archondid and Eurodities, of course.”

Solea grimaced, thought of what her Black Swan uncles had told her at Alainna’s birthday party, and decided that he was probably right. She sighed and leaned on him again. “Why didn’t you tell Cyrus that you were my father?”

Uclepidies frowned. For a moment, Solea didn’t think that he would say anything at all, so quiet was he. Then, in a strange voice, he said, “Because a long time ago, the Oracle prophesied to the first Conqueror that my child would bring upon the end of the Conquerors. And the first Conqueror has never forgotten this.”

Suddenly Alainna bolted up. “Wait, what? Solea is supposed to bring upon the end of the Conquerors? Solea?”

Uclepidies only nodded.

Alainna stared at Uclepidies. “You mean to say that Solea will cause the death of the Conquerors?”

“Yes,” Uclepidies said grimly. “That’s what it means.”

Solea was too surprised to say anything. She stared at Uclepidies with big eyes. If the Swans had told her about this prophecy before she had met Cyrus, she might have felt proud of her role. After all, didn’t the Conquerors deserve to die? It would have been honorable to bring upon the end of the Conquerors!

But now, Solea couldn't help but think of Cyrus. She hadn’t liked it when Cyrus had ordered her to kneel to him. But she hadn’t ever wanted his death! When Archondid had attacked him, she had been upset. And the idea of her leading to his death of Cyrus made her feel sick to her stomach. She felt like a pawn in a divine game that she hadn’t agreed to play.

“Why didn't anyone tell me about this before?” Alainna demanded, narrowing her eyes.

“Why didn't anybody tell you?” Solea cried, turning to Alainna furiously. “Why, that prophecy doesn't deal with you at all!”

“Yes it does,” Alainna said, annoyed. “Remember, I'm the Lady. My part of the prophecy involves me rising up against the last Conqueror along with Diamea and causing the death of the Conquerors. But there are lots of other little prophecies connected with that part, including that prophecy, I suppose.” She turned to Uclepidies. “That's right, isn't it?”

Uclepidies nodded gravely. Then he added, “That’s why Sergius was so insistent on bringing Cyrus to your classroom. If it were just you, my Lady, everyone would have all disagreed. They would have decided that it was too dangerous of an idea to follow. But with Solea there, there was some hope among my siblings that she might prompt the death of the Conquerors while bringing Diamea back to glory. That’s why they all eventually agreed to bring him in as your teacher.”

Alainna frowned. “Does Cyrus know about this particular part of the prophecy?”

“Hopefully not,” Uclepidies said. Then he nodded to Solea. “That’s why I told Cyrus that Theron was your father, not me. I didn’t want him finding out about you, lest he punish you for being my daughter.”

Solea trembled. “But why would Cyrus punish me for that?”

In a gentle voice, Uclepidies said, “I just told you. My child is prophesied to end the Conquerors. Had Cyrus known that you were my child, he might have tried to destroy you first.”

“No, he wouldn’t!” Solea said, her cheeks growing pink. “Why, when there was that whole incident with Clarise and Alainna, Cyrus was set on reporting the incident and doing the right thing, even if it made him homeless. And besides, he was a victim of a senseless crime as well! Didn’t his mother and sister die when they were innocent too? He wouldn't ever hurt me just because of my blood!”

Uclepidies shrugged. “You know him better than I would. Perhaps he wouldn't harm you. Nevertheless, the Oracle’s prophecies are always right. Whatever she says will eventually happen. There is no doubt about that! You will eventually prompt the end of the Conquerors! But how they happen is a mystery. There are many paths that lead to the truth.”

“But I don’t want to cause the end of the Conquerors!” Solea cried. “Can't the Oracle be wrong?”

“The Oracle is the voice of Diamea,” Uclepidies said firmly. “She cannot be wrong.”

“Well, maybe Diamea is wrong!” Solea snapped.

“Solea!” Alainna cried, glaring at her sternly. “You shouldn’t say that about Diamea!”

“Why not?” Solea snapped. Then, when Alainna continued to glare at her, she said, “The prophecy is about me! And I don’t want to kill Cyrus. I never wanted to kill Cyrus! Cyrus knows that. He would trust me not to hurt him.”

Uclepidies sighed. “The prophecy doesn’t say you’ll kill him. That’s what Diamea will do. The prophecy says that you’ll be the one who will cause his death. You can think highly of someone and still accidentally cause them to die. Why, I loved my wife dearly and I still caused her death!”

Solea blushed at the mention of her mother's death. Desperately, she tried to think of something to say to that. But before she could think of anything, Alainna swore and turned to Solea.

“Solea!" Alainna said. “Remember today? Remember how afterward in the carriage you were worried that Cyrus would become homeless in the middle of winter? What if that’s the way you accidentally caused his death?”

Solea turned pale and shrunk back into her seat, horrified.

Uclepidies turned to look at both of them carefully. “Now, if there are no more further questions that you have of me, we will move on to the original topic." Then, he leaned forward and frowned. "Tell me what happened in school today.”


Basically... um... I decided that Solea's role as Uclepidies's daughter needs to be highlighted more. Also, I realized that when Uclepidies reveals Solea's role in the prophecy in the previous draft, Alainna doesn't really seem to care. Which is ridiculous because Alainna is actually pretty smart and would not let that slide. Also, in the version before, Alainna seemed kind of stupid about the prophecy, which is ridiculous because she and Cyrus are arguing about it in their letters, so I made her smarter in this version. It should be Solea who isn't very well-read regarding the prophecies, not Alainna.

Also started writing the new chapter!

...I should probably work on the last chapter in Book 4, because I have readers who would probably be annoyed that I am not writing it, but still working on the Swan story.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Tue Nov 28, 2023 5:11 pm
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Snoink says...



AHHHHHHH. IT'S TIME TO PANIC IT'S TIME TO PANIC AHHHHHH.

Right now, it's at 44,710 words, but like. Everything is a mess. At this point, I'm just blindly writing whatever words come to me. Yesterday, I wrote:

- A scene from Book 1
- A scene from The Golden Mermaid
- A scene from Book 4

SO WE ARE A LITTLE SCATTERED RIGHT NOW. BUT WORDS ARE BEING WRITTEN.

Anywho, I figured out why I got stuck in Book 4 so badly in October. It was starting to look like a dumb fanfic, and I was like, "Whyyyyyy?" But last night I realized that my MC was just kind of... doing nothing. And so now I have him doing stuff and WHAT DO YOU KNOW. The words are coming more quickly!

*shocked pikachu face*

Anyway, I am going to see if I can finish the last chapter... again, my initial goal was to see if I could finish the last chapter, so this is actually not a last-minute thing to grab word count, haha. (Though also, it totally is.)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Tue Nov 28, 2023 5:40 pm
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Snoink says...



OH. I forgot... an excerpt!

From Book 1... Sergius is getting the girls to act out the wedding of the Lady and Diamea. XD

Spoiler! :
All the girls stared at Sergius in disbelief. “You want us to act out the Lady’s wedding?” Solea finally asked after a moment of shocked silence. "Including having us sing all the songs?"

“Of course,” Sergius said, annoyed. “Otherwise, why would I have moved away all the desks?”

“But you can’t do that without Cyrus!” Clarise cried. “You’re not even supposed to take charge!”

“Your teacher is sick,” Sergius said impatiently. “When I visited him this morning, he specifically gave me these notes and gave me his blessing to teach this particular class. You have no need to fear. As I said before, I am not going to deviate at all from the lesson plan that your teacher gave me.”

“But—” Clarise said, her face growing pink.

Sergius cleared his throat loudly and began to sort through papers. “Alainna, you get to act as the Lady, of course. Here are the lyrics to your songs.” Sergius gave her some handwritten notes, then thrust a candle in her hand. “And here’s a candle. We’ll light it in a minute once I snuff out all the lights.”

Alainna blinked at the candle. “Why do I have a candle?”

Sergius looked irritated. "I just told you, the whole wedding starts with the bride holding up a lantern and finding the groom in darkness."

Alainna grew pink. "But, didn't you say that was just a metaphor? Besides, a candle is not a lantern!"

“Pretend that it's your lantern,” Sergius said impatiently. Then, when Alainna scowled at him, he added. "The candle isn't the important part. The lyrics are. Stop worrying about the candle and look at the notes!"

Alainna peered at the notes, frazzled. “Why, I can barely read the words! His handwriting is atrocious. And there's no music set to it. And I’m supposed to sing it today?”

Sergius shrugged. “Do your best. Just sing whatever tune you want. You're the Lady. You get to choose!”

Alainna scowled. “Who am I supposed to sing to anyway?”

“Diamea, of course,” Sergius replied.

Alainna glared at Sergius. “Are you going to act as Diamea in this pretend wedding?”

“Me?” Sergius snorted. “Hardly! That honor goes to your sister.”

Solea blinked. “I get to be Diamea?”

The very thought seemed to be blasphemy. Still, before Solea could argue, he gestured her forward and said, “Here’s the lyrics to your songs.”

Solea took the lyrics to the songs, blushing. “Why do I have to be Diamea?”

“Because his lyrics are almost as complicated as the Lady’s songs, and you're the best reader of the group,” Sergius said, annoyed. “Besides, you’ll have to memorize the songs now because you’ll be blindfolded in a minute.”

Solea stared at him in disbelief. “You must be joking!”

“I’m not joking,” Sergius insisted, tapping on the notes. “This was all part of Cyrus’s lesson plan. He wanted you to act as Diamea. There's a note written in that says that explicitly. I’m only following his instructions.”

“But how am I supposed to memorize all of these songs in a minute before being blindfolded?” Solea said, holding up several sheets of Diamea’s lyrics in Cyrus’s tiny handwriting.

Sergius shrugged. “Apparently, Cyrus seemed to think that all of you would know all the songs by heart.”

“Well, I don’t know any of these songs!” Solea snapped.

“Then do your best to memorize them in the time that you have.” Then Sergius looked around. “Who wants to be the Conqueror?”

Nobody raised their hands.

“It’s only for pretend,” Sergius said, irritated. “All you have to do is try to prevent Alainna from marrying Solea.”

“This is stupid,” Clarise snapped.

“Very well, you can be the Conqueror,” Sergius said, handing her a shawl. “Try not to hurt them too much.”

Clarise threw the shawl on the floor and stomped her foot. “I am not doing this!”

“Let’s hope the real Conqueror is as nice as you,” Sergius said, grinning wickedly. “I would love it if the Conqueror decided that giving up was a valid option!”
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

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Tue Nov 28, 2023 5:55 pm
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Snoink says...



OH WAIT. I misread things. For some reason, I thought I was like... two days off, but apparently I started today behind only about 500 words or so, so I probably shouldn't panic ~yet.~

THE BABY KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT. MY BRAIN IS NOT FUNCTIONING TODAY. XD
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Wed Nov 29, 2023 3:50 pm
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Snoink says...



I am having stress dreams about Nano WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING.

Anyway.

I ended on 46,682. Mid-sentence, mind you, because I was so grumpy to be writing at midnight. So we're doing great here. XD *sarcasm*

Again, I worked on all three projects... so three excerpts.

From The Golden Mermaid:

I realized that I blocked myself and wasn't having fun, so I decided to make the troublesome scene a "dream sequence" which will be deleted at a later time (by later, I mean December 1) and started the new scene, which amuses me a lot more.

Spoiler! :
“Where are you taking me?” Tristian asked dubiously when the wolf raced toward a city’s walls

“To get you food, of course,” the wolf replied. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Tristian glanced at the city walls and frowned. “I told you, I don’t have any money. If we go inside, I won’t be able to buy anything or even stop at a place. Unless you have a friend there who is willing to take me in, I don’t see how I can get any food.”

As soon as the words popped out, he hesitated and frowned, thinking about how strange the wolf seemed to be. He wondered if the wolf might have some

But the wolf only wagged his tail. “Who needs friends? I have a better idea!”

“A better idea?” Tristian said, frowning.

The wolf nodded and then said, “We’ll steal the food!”


...if you're like, "Wait, there's a sentence there that just hangs why...?"

BECAUSE IT'S NANO. HA. THAT'S WHY.

Book 1:

I... realized that I was fixing an even larger problem than I imagined when I started writing the new chapter.

(Book 1 spoilers ahead.)

Spoiler! :
In the story, there's like... a week or two between the very awkward conversation between Cyrus and Solea and the gift giving exercise of doom. But like. That last conversation in the scene before this new chapter was so awkward that there's no real internal thought about the whole thing from Solea, which is odd. Because that's where Solea starts to sour on Cyrus and that's why she reacts as strongly as she does in the gift giving exercise.


Anyway. I still have to tweak the scene some, but here's the rough draft of her internal thoughts:

Spoiler! :
Solea didn’t want to go to the next language class. In fact, she was tempted to never show her face in Cyrus’s language class again.
It had been an inappropriate conversation. The more Solea played over the entire conversation in her head, the more acutely embarrassed by it she became. Cyrus had practically asked for her hand in marriage before the Swans had put an end to the conversation. The thought that Solea would let the conversation go that far humiliated Solea.

And the fact that Archondid witnessed such an embarrassing situation mortified her even more. After all, what if Archonidid told her parents about what had happened? The mere thought mortified her. More than anything, she wanted to go to Archondid and beg him not to say anything. Except Archondid was staying with Cyrus and helping him out. So if she met up with Archondid, she would have to meet up with Cyrus.

And Solea didn’t want to see Cyrus. Not after Cyrus’s reaction to the conversation. If Cyrus had stood up to the Swans and fought for a chance with her, she would have felt better. After all, she might have still made a fool out of herself, but at least Cyrus would have shown that he loved her and was willing to fight for her. That would have made Solea happy.

But Cyrus didn’t stand up for her. Instead, at the slightest hint of conflict, Cyrus had given Solea up, as if she were nothing.

Cyrus’s reaction humiliated Solea, just as much as it depressed her. From everything that Solea had seen, Cyrus was one of the few men that she knew who wasn’t intimidated by the Swans and seemed to be able to work with them mutually without any problem at all. If Cyrus would give up Solea so quickly after the Swans objected to the match, she feared that there would be no one else who would ever want to marry her.

Which meant that she would be stuck serving Alainna forever.

And so, Solea was tempted not only to skip the class entirely, but also to never go to another language class in her life. Frantically, she tried to think of ways to avoid the class that didn’t involve her running away to the woods and living off the land — though, the more she thought of that possibility, the more she liked the idea better.

It took every bit of courage for her to show up the next day in the classroom. And it took every bit of strength for her to open the classroom door. But when she did, she stepped back, surprised.

Everything had been rearranged.


I... think this is okay? Hopefully this provides enough internal thoughts that the story makes more sense now???

Book 4:

Okay, so like... nobody's read this far yet so I don't want to give out an excerpt quite yet. But I do want to share just one out-of-context sentence that I wrote today from Book 4 that would make sense to literally no one but me:

“But who will repay the blood?”


And like. When I started writing Book 3, I was a bit worried because Book 1 and 2 are obviously connected. Book 4 was also connected to Books 1 and 2, though obviously Books 1 and 2 are more companions with each other since the sisters are telling their story. But... Book 3? That was a different type of book altogether and when I finished it, I was worried that Book 3 would be so... different that when I started Book 4, Book 3 would seem unnecessary and weird and I wouldn't be able to tie it back together again.

BUT. I am writing the ending of Book 4 and everything is tying nicely together and even Book 3 is important... very important, in fact.

All of this makes me happy.

MIND YOU.

I am still very grumpy about nano. But the end is in sight and I am on schedule. So.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Thu Nov 30, 2023 3:10 pm
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Snoink says...



Word count is currently at 49,184 words.

Less than a thousand.

*flails*

Yesterday, I had entirely too much fun writing. Matthew kept asking me why I was smiling in such a mischievous manner and. Well. I had too much fun.

I only really worked on Book 1 yesterday, so a RIDICULOUSLY long excerpt from that!

Spoiler! :
“Well, we have another opening for a Conqueror,” Sergius said cheerfully after the door slammed shut. “Jarista? Would you like to fill the role instead?”

Jarista’s eyes grew wide. “Me?”

Sergius nodded and smirked. “It'll give you something interesting to tell the family.”

Jarista frowned.

“It really isn't a bad role,” Sergius said impatiently. “Cyrus wanted to play the role initially, though we talked him out of it since we knew that your parents would be angry if he so much as breathed on any of you. Still, Cyrus thought it was the funniest role. In his village, they call that role the Old Woman. Typically, it was given to the oldest woman in the village. They would give her a long cane and she would wander about and whack anyone within reach. She tries to keep the bride from meeting up with the groom. And, because the groom is blindfolded, that makes it even more amusing.”

Jarista frowned more and glanced at Solea uncertainly. “So how would I play my role?”

“Simple,” Sergius said. “You’re the Conqueror. You are the only one, besides the groom, who can touch the Lady. Your goal is to keep them apart. Furthermore, if you touch someone on the shoulder, that means that you’ve possessed them and they have to do whatever you say, so as long as they don’t touch the Lady. And you want to possess everyone that you can because if you don’t, they’ll try to protect Diamea.” Then, when Jarista stared at him blankly, Sergius waved his hands dismissively. “You’ll pick it up quickly, I’m sure. This is not a complicated game.”

Jarista cringed and looked at Solea and Alainna desperately. “Does that mean you want me to whack Alainna and Solea with a stick?”

“Just poke them a little,” Sergius said impatiently. “Just for dramatic effect. It’s just a game, after all.”

Suddenly Solea paled. The idea of getting whacked with a stick while blindfolded did not sound appealing at all. “Can’t we just skip the Conqueror part of the wedding?” she asked nervously.

Sergius glared at her. “No.”

“But—” Solea began.

“That is one of the only things about the wedding ceremony that will actually happen in real life,” Sergius said, annoyed. “All the prophecies are clear on that! In order for Diamea to go to glory, the Lady must meet the Conqueror first. There is no question about it. We are not removing the Conqueror from this exercise!”

“But what if Jarista pokes me in the eye and I go blind?” Solea asked, blurting out the first thing that came to her mind. “What then?”

“She won’t poke you in the eye,” Sergius said, annoyed. “You’ll be blindfolded with a thick rag. Your eyes will be protected.”

“But what if she pokes my eye?” Alainna demanded. “I don’t have a blindfold! And didn’t you say the Conqueror is going to attack me?”

“The Conqueror will attack you, but nobody else can touch you,” Sergius said impatiently. “Solea is more likely to be slightly battered at the end of this game, not you. Still, I doubt Jarista is stupid enough to actually blind the Lady. Besides, even if something terrible happened and you somehow went blind, I’m a White Swan! As long as you still have your eyes, I can heal your blindness in a moment. Again, there is nothing to be concerned about!”

“All right,” Alainna grumbled, glaring at Jarista. “As long as Jarista knows that she shouldn't mess with me.”

“But what about me!” Solea cried.

Jarista frowned at the shawl and stick that Sergius impatiently offered to her. “I suppose I don’t have a choice to be anything else?”

“Not unless someone else volunteers,” Sergius said cheerfully. “And, since no one else seems to be volunteering to whack Alainna with a stick, I suppose the task must go to you.”

Jarista sighed in resignation and took the shawl and stick without protest. Then she turned to Solea and tried to smile reassuringly. “Don't worry, Solea. I won't hurt you.”

Solea smiled uncertainly back. But before she could say anything to Jarista, Sergius stepped in between them and sneered. “Look, the Conqueror is forming an alliance with Diamea! How precious!”

Both Jarista and Solea paled.

Sergius turned to the rest of the classroom and glared at everyone. “Very well! Enough talk. The main roles have been filled! Everyone else is simply a wedding participant. Your job is to protect Diamea. But! If the Conqueror taps you on the shoulder, you are possessed and have to do whatever the Conqueror says. You are allowed to touch the groom. You are not allowed to touch the bride! Also, only the Lady and Diamea are allowed to sing. The game ends when the Lady embraces Diamea. Do you understand?”

The girls murmured an uncertain assent.

“Now, let's start this wedding!” Sergius snapped his fingers and cried, “Wind! I order you to snuff the lights out!”


***


As soon as Sergius said those words, there seemed to be a whirlwind in the room and all the lights snuffed out. The room, which was windowless, turned terrifyingly black in an instant.

There was only one light in the entire room. The jar of water in Alainna’s hand glowed with a strange light that seemed to swell in size when it became dark.

“I blessed some water and stuck it in the jar,” Sergius said lazily when the girls gathered around the light uncertainly. “It’ll work as the Lady’s lantern.” Then he gestured to Solea. “Solea, come here! You need to be blindfolded.”

Before Solea could protest, she felt Sergius grab her shoulders and slip a blindfold over her eyes. Once more, the room became dark.

“You didn’t give me any time to look at Diamea’s lyrics!” Solea cried, trying to pry the blindfold off her eyes.

“Too late,” Sergius said. “Just try your best.” Then he yelled to Jarista. “Don’t be afraid to poke her with that stick of yours. Like this!”

Then, before Solea could react, she felt someone poke her belly. She squealed and fell to the floor.

“What do I do?” Alainna cried.

“You’re supposed to sing the Lady’s songs,” Sergius said impatiently. “So sing them!”

Solea heard a shuffle of papers. Then, in a shaky voice, Alainna read in a monotone:

My soul longs for my lord
To come back into my arms
May he come back from the deep
And rescue me from harm

“You’re supposed to sing the lyrics!” Sergius said. “Not speak!”

“I’m chanting,” Alainna snapped. “Not speaking! And don’t you dare tell me that I can’t chant! You told me just now that I was allowed to choose the tune since I’m the Lady. And I chose to chant them!”

Sergius groaned. “Fine! Just try to chant in more of a melodic way.”

Alainna continued to speak in the same flat monotone.

For it has been so long
And I am so broken —
May I regain my voice
To sing once again!

“I said, you’re supposed to sing the lyrics,” Sergius snapped. “Not speak them!”

“I told you, I’m chanting them!” Alainna shot back.

“No, you aren’t!” Sergius said. “You’re not even trying! It’s clear to everyone here that you’re just reading the notes in front of you and not trying to give them any special lilt or melody at all.”

Solea heard a dozen papers fall on the floor and guessed that Alainna threw her papers down in frustration. “Well, maybe if you didn’t give me a lyric sheet with such tiny handwriting, I would be able to sing this song!”

Sergius sighed in exasperation. “All I want is for you to sing!”

“The lyrics don’t even indicate that the Lady is supposed to sing,” Alainna cried. “I’m supposed to regain my voice so I can sing once again! Which indicates that these verses aren’t even supposed to be sung. Therefore, I am right!”

“The lyrics are always sung,” Sergius insisted. “It’s tradition!”

“Then why am I singing about regaining my voice?” Alainna demanded. “This whole tradition doesn’t even make sense!”

Sergius groaned. “Well, Diamea? The Lady has lost her song! Will you sing back to her? Or will you let the Conqueror overtake you both?”

It took a moment for Solea to realize that Sergius was speaking to her. She felt her face grow hot. “How am I supposed to sing Diamea’s part when I can’t read the lyrics?”

“Jarista, poke her with the stick,” Sergius ordered. “Otherwise, I’ll take away your stick and poke her myself!”

Solea heard a shuffle of soft feet come toward her. Then she felt a light tap on her shoulder.

“You're supposed to be a Conqueror!” Sergius snapped. “Why, even a woodpecker taps a tree harder than you touched her. And you haven’t possessed a single person yet!”

“I don't want to hurt her!” Jarista insisted. “And I don’t want to possess anyone either!”

“Here!” Sergius snapped. “I'll be the Conqueror then!” A moment later, Solea felt someone swat her on the back of the head. She swore and scrambled up, trying to lurch away from where she thought Sergius might be.

Sergius laughed. “There! That's more like a traditional wedding!” Solea heard someone scramble about. For a terrible moment, Solea was afraid that she would feel Sergius swat her again. But instead, several girls shrieked while Sergius cried, “You’re possessed! And you’re possessed! And you’re possessed! All of you are possessed! Now go find Solea and pull her away from Alainna!”

Solea swore again and tried to back away from where she thought Sergius was. “When can we end this?”

Sergius laughed. “We can end this exercise when you find the Lady, of course! But that means you have to stop giving away your position and listen for the Lady's songs!”

Solea heard a swish and then yelped as she felt Sergius swat the back of her head again. She tried to run away from him towards where she thought might be the door.

“Not so fast!” Sergius cried. “Go on, Kyrie and Jarista! Grab Solea’s shoulders and spin her around five times!”

A moment later, Solea felt someone grab her shoulders. “Sorry!” Kyrie said, giggling as Solea tried to push them away. “The Conqueror made us do it!” A moment later, they spun her around so fast that Solea felt sick. By the time they stopped, Solea staggered about, unsure of where anything was.

The whole class giggled.

“Alainna! Where are you!” Solea cried.

“Here!” Alainna said.

“Where?” Solea said, stepping hesitantly where she thought Alainna might be.

Sergius laughed, then yelled, “My girls! Answer Solea as if you were Alainna!”

Instantly, the girls began to giggle. Then, all at once they began to yell. The room was soon full of everyone yelling, telling Solea that they were here and commanding Solea to come there. With the noise, Solea couldn’t distinguish any of the voices – or hear Alainna’s voice.

“Alainna!” Solea cried. “Where are you? I can’t hear you!”

Sergius laughed again. “It’s the Lady's songs that have power,” he yelled. “Nobody but the Lady and Diamea are allowed to sing. So, if you want to stop this fun exercise and find each other, you better start singing!”

Desperately, Alainna began to sing:

Diamea, my sweet little dear!
I know you're near!
Get over here!

It wasn’t loud — Solea could barely hear Alainna over the chorus of girls yelling. But at least she finally knew where Alainna was. Solea scrambled over to her sister and tried to grab her, but when she did, Alainna shrieked and pushed her off.

“Alainna!” Solea yelled. “That was me!”

“What?” Alainna cried. “I thought you were the Conqueror!”

Sergius laughed more. “My girls, pull Diamea away from the Lady! Don’t let the Lady win! Then make a chain to keep them apart” Then, to Solea, he said, “You’re going to have to sing too, Diamea, if you want to find your sweet Lady!”

Solea only swore. “Keep singing!” she yelled to Alainna. “That way, I can find you!”

Alainna began to belt out every nursery rhyme that she could at the top of her lungs while Solea struggled to get closer to Alainna. But when Solea tried to walk toward Alainna, she kept running into a chain of girls who had made a ring around Alainna and they kept pushing her back.

Solea was starting to think that perhaps she would never find Alainna when finally Alainna yelled, “Not today, Conquerors!” Then someone tackled Solea to the floor and took off her blindfold.

It was Alainna, holding the jar of light.


I... XD

I originally wrote the Lady's bridal song for Book 4, and in that particular book, the poem is used in a completely different way. So to see it used here like this is hysterical.

Also, I don't like Sergius as a person, but I love writing his character. He is such an insufferable jerk, and yet... XD

Hopefully, this scene will come across as hilarious when you're reading the book, but like... if you ever reread this book, hopefully it'll make an even deeper impact. Like, you'll notice all the times that I wink at you and say, "Look! Look!" and you'll be like, "I see! I see!"
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Fri Dec 01, 2023 7:04 am
Spearmint says...



omg it is hilarious XDD awesome job this nano, Snoink!! :D :D :D :elephant:
mint, she/her


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Sat Dec 02, 2023 12:33 am
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Snoink says...



Yayyyyyy! I'm glad you like it! :D

Okay, so I need the shiny Nano reflections badge, so...

I wrote 50k words!!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!

Because I've been writing so consistently throughout the year, I think the word count wasn't completely overwhelming, though like... I think I would rather do about half that count with better writing. XD

THE GOLDEN MERMAID

I wrote about half of the planned book. It... is definitely a rough draft, lol. Still! It had such fun moments! (I LOVE THE WOLF.) I think where I ended it, I hit a rough part and I wasn't sure where to go and... well... it needs work, lol. STILL. I want to finish this project! Maybe after I finish the Swan stuff. :D

SWAN STUFF

I said in the beginning that I would split my attention with the Swan stuff, since I... well... clearly, I am just scattered, haha.

I expected to write more of Book 4. Anyway, I did write a little bit of Book 4, but not much. I think I got myself stuck so I might have to rewrite a couple of scenes to get back on track and rearrange/combine some of the characters' entrances.

The last chapter, alas, has a lot of characters in it and suffers from the same problem as the first chapter. How to plan the various character entrances??? The first chapter of book 4 still bugs me by how big it is because it is really... big.

I also wrote about half of a new chapter for Book 1 that I didn't actually set out to write, BUT. When I was struggling with the last chapter, it just occurred to me that I could explain some of the wedding stuff easier in Book 1. Which also means I have to tweak some of the previous weddings (like, the wedding in Book 2), but oh well. Anyway, the new scene explaining weddings is really hilarious and I love it. The story gets rather dark after that chapter (like, there's some brief happy moments like the giant snowball fight which is sweet, but YEAH.) I'll have to tweak things for the other chapters behind it (Alainna would probably ask Uclepidies the prophesied wedding is really like this, haha) but I have to tweak it anyway since I intend on putting more of Uclepidies's backstory with the Conqueror, so I can do it then.

OVERALL

I think the main take away is that I realized some of the scenes that were giving me trouble need to be rewritten entirely and, once they're rewritten, they flow easier and it's just... easier overall.

Anyway. I have PLANS for these stories. :)

(I barely know how to string sentences along anymore, so forgive me for the rambling. XD)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  








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