Young Writers Society

I love the rewrite, Merry! You included so much more stuff and the pace was perfect!

Bravo to you!

“It also says that you will move in with your relatives The Ashworths and you will be taking Maria with you. You will have the carriage ride to Bath and from then on you will be on your own for the week.”

Comma after "relatives" and after "Ashworths"

“That is it Sophia. You may leave now.”

Comma after "it"

In the back of the house, there were acres of land filled vegetable gardens, animal farms and forests that secured the privacy of the home.

Missing the word "with". Slip it in between "filled" and "vegetable"

The household itself was two story with several rooms and servants.

"stories" instead of "story"

Other than that, I have no other complaints.

On to Chapter Two>>>>>

oh wow.

i seems kind of cruel that she has to guess who her suitors are and that she has to move out of her house, the one she grew up in.

i will definitely not wait until tomorrow to read the other chapter. i am off to read the others right now.

good luck on continue the writing.

Awsome twist!
I love mystery things like this.
I do think it's kind of mean but hey, it keeps her guessing, year?
Very well written and descriptions are great. You showed what she will miss and why. Nice!
Well, I'm off!

Simply marvelous! You put alot more detail into how the setting looked, making it seem making it as if you were really there, looking at the graden! Well done.