This the beginning of my story for NANORIMO, which I never finished . I thought I post it and see what you all thought.I am looking for critiques on the story itself not on spelling or punctuation errors.
Chapter One
The Doves Arrival
Fifteen year old Catalina Greco rode behind her father through the crowded streets of Milan, Her small horse Harlequin picked his way carefully after her fathers gray stallion Beausephelus. Up one street and down another the father and daughter rode, they were newly arrived in Milan, her father Bartolomeo Greco having obtained a high office in the Mersoli family moved his entire household from the countryside to the heart of the city. Catalina's eyes were as big as saucers as she looked around. Everything was new and exciting to her. The bustle and hustle was something so different to what she was used to. People were everywhere shouting and waving their arms, dirty children ran about sometimes almost underneath the horses. Harlequin dances nervously as he totted along. Catalina looked at her father as he rode a few paces ahead of her. He sat erect and strong in the saddle, back as strait as a arrow. She smiled, proud to be his daughter. He had risen from the son of a blacksmith to the right hand man of Signor Mersoli, all on his own. She urged Harlequin next to Beausephelus. Bartolomeo looked down at his daughter and reaching over patted her head.
“Papa, why are we going to the bird market before going to Signor Leonardo's studio?” her father just that morning had told her he was going to visit his old friend and she as mistress of the house was to accompany him.
“Well Daughter my friend loves birds, I though I would buy him some as a gift. He has always been fascinated by them.” He winked at her. “Who knows maybe you will fascinate him my little bird and he will ask you to be a model for one of his great frescoes.”
As the rode through the crowed streets to the market near the cathedral of Saint Mary Catalina became aware of a noise that sounded like many shrill voiced pipes all playing at once. The noise grew louder and louder until passing through an archway they found themselves in the bird market. There were birds everywhere, the noise of their many calls was overwhelming. Catalina had never seen nor heard so many birds in her life.
“Papa!” She cried “ It seems that all the birds in the world are here. Can any be left in the woods?” Bartolomeo laughed, his deep voice seemed out of place among all those shrieking birds. He stopped at a small stall that by it's painted sign told all who bothered to look that its owner sold doves. He dismounted and followed closely by his daughter entered the stall. There were cages and cages full of doves, all cooing to one another. Catalina thought the stall looked like the dovecote at their house only much bigger. Though she liked doves very much she held her scented handkerchief up to her nose to ward of the smell of bird droppings. The man who owned the stall came forward bowing. He was a man of maybe middle age with just a fringe of gray hair
“Good afternoon Signor and Signorina please look freely.” her father nodded, he went over to look at a cage with four dusky purple doves sitting on their perch and cooing to one enough like four gossiping old ladies. Catalina looked about trailing her fingers along the cages and stopping when one bird or another caught her fancy. The owner came up next to her smiling, he was missing a tooth.
“Come here Signorina.” he beckoned and followed, he held up a cage for her. Inside was a magpie all alone sitting on a small swing. It turned a bright eye to her and ruffled it's black and white plumage chattering all the time. She smiled, the man handed her a few berries. “here don't be fearful he wont harm you Signorina.” she offered the bird a berry it cocked it's head to one side and quick as a wink took the offering. Catalina went to her father who was still looking at the four gossiping dove and tentatively pulled his sleeve.
“Papa may I have that magpie over there please?” he looked sharply up following the girls finger to the impish bird. he walked over and taking the cage looked at the bird who seemed to be quite interested in the dangles the girls bracelet.
“Why?” Bartolomeo asked scrutinizing the bird still harder, Catalina shrugged.
“ I don't know. I just wanted him. He has a witty look in his face.” the man who owned the stall cut in.
“Signor if you buy those doves I was you admiring I will give the magpie free to the Signorina.” Catalina smiled her most winning smile at her father. Her father poked a finger in at the magpie who promptly pecked it. Bartolomeo looked from the bird to the pleading look his daughter was giving him and smiled indulgently. Her knew he shouldn't, that the girls nurse would berate him for it but what father could resist that look.
“Alright then we'll take the magpie.” Catalina ran to him and hugged him tightly.
“But you must promise me that you will not let him run wild like you did that young deer I let you have last summer. I don't want to find it nesting in my hats.”
Her father having paid for the birds the two made their way back to their horses. He gave the birds to the groom, and once again they mounted continuing on their way. In thirty minutes they reached a part of the city that was slightly quieter than the marketplace. The streets were now lined with houses for the most part. Her father looked from one side of the street to the other talking incoherently to himself. Suddenly he turned his horse into a gateway and as Catalina followed him they entered a small courtyard. A dark stone house glowered down at them and Catalina wondered why her fathers friend who was an artist would live in such a dull place. Her father swung of his horse and coming to her side he lifted her off her pony. Then cage in hand he moved towards the large oak door. It was opened from within by an diminutive old woman with a face like a dried apple. She greeted them and asked for his name then she ushered them into the house and through several dark low ceilinged passages to the garden. The old woman led them down the gardens main path a ways and then through banks of brightly colored flowers. The smell was intoxicating. They walked into a long arbor weaved with some vining plant Catalina had never seen. At the end in a expanse of grass bereft of flowers she saw a four men seated around a horse that was tethered to a stake in the ground. They all had paper and drawing materials, and were wholly absorbed in their work. The old woman stepped forward.
“Signor Leonardo.” she called “Signor Bartolomeo Greco and his daughter Signorina Catalina to see you.” The eldest of the four looked up and Catalina at once noticed he had a large black smudge of charcoal on his nose. his hair was long and white and he had a full bushy beard. his eyes were the dancing blue of a young boys. He smiled, she saw the deep lines etched in his face. He warmly embraced her father birdcage and all with a laugh
“Bartolomeo! My dear friend how are you?” his voice was strong with only a slight hoarseness. He shook Bartolomeo's hand almost violently and embraced him a second time. Then his eyes went to Catalina, she curtsied. He stared for a moment then he smiled again. “She looks just like her mother Bartolomeo.” he took her hand and kissed it, his whiskers tickling her hand “Greetings little one.” she curtsied again and smiled shyly.
“Thank you Signor Leonardo. My father has told me much about you.” the old man raised an eyebrow and she thought she saw an old spark of mischief flare up.
“Surprising.” he rubbed his chin with one hand a nudged her father with the other. “For he has told me very little about you Signorina Catalina.” then changing subjects like a ship changes tacts, suddenly and with no warning. He slapped her father on the back with a force that surprised both Catalina and her father. “Well Bartolomeo, when did you arrive in Milan? Do you have a house here?” her father nodded and rubbed the back of his head like he always did when answering questions.
“Yes Leonardo I do have a house in the north part of town. I wanted to be away from the smell of the lower quarter.”
“The square that our house is in has a fountain with lions on them!” Catalina interrupted. “Our house has a courtyard and a walled garden just like yours though our garden is not so pretty. I have never seen such flowers as your Signor.” Bartolomeo gave her a look which silenced any further outbursts.
“As you can see Leonardo my daughter is quite taken by the city.” Leonardo winked at her.
“Can't say I blame you daughter. I quite agree with her Milan can be a wonderful place if you top to look.” Catalina touched her fathers elbow, Bartolomeo cleared his throat.
“Leonardo as my daughter has reminded me. I had a question for you, would you join us tonight for a small dinner party. I thought it would be nice to have at least one person at my table who I know won't slander my name to everyone the next day.” Leonardo laughed, a good strong laugh that did ones ears good.
“ Of course I will come! I will defend your name to the very pope himself if need be. Besides if my memory serves me well you always keep a very good table my friend. Good food and more importantly the promise of seeing such a beautiful young maiden again? How could I say no?” he pinched Catalina's cheek much the same way her grandfather did.
“But may I asked one thing of your generosity my old friend?”Leonardo bowed slightly and motioned behind him.
“May I bring my three apprentices with me? I promise that if you say so I will forbid them from eating anything.” he flapped his hands at the three men, they laid down their papers and came over. Leonardo introduce them one by one starting with the eldest.
“Signor Greco this is Antonio Burorteli,” the aforementioned young man bowed. He was of maybe six and twenty with golden curls and a almost delicate face.” Leonardo grinned. “when he first came here we were all convinced he was a maid in disguise. He was too fair to be a man.” Antonio blushed ad coughed nervously. “and this,” Leonardo clapped one of the men on his back. “this is Francesco Melzi, and he-”
“Excuse me but are you related to Count Melzi?” Bartolomeo interrupted. Francesco who looked to be two and twenty showed a smile more belonging to an imp than a man.
“Yes Signor the count is my father.” Bartolomeo nodded, Leonardo cleared his throat.
“As I was saying Francesco is the devil in my studio.” Francesco grinned even wider. “And this.”Leonardo said pointing to the tallest of the three. “This is Giovanni. My youngest pupil.” Giovanni bowed and looked right at Catalina with a look she could not read but the men all seemed to. Leonardo slapped Giovanni on the back of the head. “Stop that, behave yourself! Forgive him signorina Catalina.” he faced his three apprentices. “ Now you naughty little monkeys go back and finish your sketches.” he waved his arms and the three young men scattered.
“Well if you keep a leash on the young one you are all welcome.” Bartolomeo said
“As I said it is only a small party and you will all be a welcome addition.” Leonardo bowed.
“I thank you my friend, I do not like to leave them alone with each other.” he leaned in closer “ They will be at each others throats in five minutes if you don't watch them.”
As Her father and Leonardo continued to talk of trivial matter,at least to Catalina's mind she walked over to where the three apprentices sat around the horse. She loved horses and this was a fine animal. Clean limbed, his main lay in luxurious chestnut waves on his neck. His proud head was held high with a haughty air. Catalina looked at Leonardo's half finished sketch lying on his chair. There were many sketches on the page all focusing on some part of the horse. His legs, his eye and his shoulders. She then walked around behind Antonio. He stiffened slightly but kept drawing. His was of the horse, but it lacked the life of even Leonardo's half done sketches. The horse on his paper stood there looking sensible. There was nothing wrong with his execution of it but it was just dull,
She moved to Giovanni. his looked like something she would do herself. Is was the shadow of the horse. It was of horse shape, but nothing more yet it had the energy of life that Antonio's lacked. He looked back over his shoulder at her and a lazy smile spread its way over his handsome face.
“Hello Signorina, I couldn't help but hear that you have but recently taken up residence is this beautiful city. Are you enjoying it so far?” his voice was strong and deep. Catalina felt a blush rise onto her cheeks in spite of herself, he just kept watching her. She finally stammered out that she did indeed like the city so far.
“But I haven't really seen much of it. We have been settling into our house.”
“I see.” was all he said but she sensed he had meant something more. Just then there was a contemptuous snort form Francesco. They both looked over at him. He was still sketching away but had a smirk on his face.
“My, my, my.” he said the smirk now a decidedly wicked grin. “What will lady Isabella's daughter say.” Giovanni blushed to the roots of his hair and hastily returned to his drawing.
Catalina walked over and looked over Francesco's shoulder. His drawing was not of the horse but of the peach tree next to the horse. The sketch had almost a movement to it so delicate were his lines. She tapped him lightly on the shoulder.
“Why did you not draw the horse?” he reached under his peach tree sketch and produced another one. Of a horse.
“ I finished.” he handed it to her. She looked at the animal outlined on the page. Though it stood still its main was gently lifted by a wind and it had one foot raised as if ready to paw the ground, but the it had no hooves. She bit her lip wondering how to phrase her next question. Francesco seemed to read her thoughts and answered.
“ I can't draw feet. Furred, feathered, human, they all escape me.” Catalina nodded.
“I have that problem with faces.” his black eyes danced.
“You draw signorina?” she shrugged
“Only a little. I'm terrible at it, it looks like chicken scratch.”
“Well we all start somewhere Signorina. The first time I attempted to draw a horse I finished with something that looked more like a duck with four legs.” Catalina laughed she looked at the peach tree sketch.
“I wish I could draw like that. It seemed almost real. Like you could reach in and pick one of the peaches.” He handed the sketch to her.
“Here, take it if you like it.” she curtsied “ start with things that are not alive and learn their shapes. You have to train your hand to do what your mind wants of it.”
“thank you Signor.”
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