Young Writers Society

Europe Before and After the Age of Discovery

Before the Age of Discovery, Europe considered itself the only world power. They had no idea of the other lands that lay around them. The fear and paranoia of what was told that lived in the Atlantic Sea, or the “Green Sea of Gloom” was so horrific that no European wanted to take the chance of sailing in the uncharted waters. Finally the prospect of trade extinguished the fear. After voyages to “New lands” and the “Indies”, many European countries were benefiting from the slaves, spices, and metals that were brought home. Gold and ivory were used to build weapons and accessories for kings. All ate spices and new foods. Everyone prospered from these expeditions. Europe now knew that their other surroundings existed, and were just waiting to be conquered. People who started new civilizations now owned the new lands. It was a good thing for everyone.

Are you going to continue this? It seems like you've got a whole other story to reveal, like this paragraph is just leading up into something else that happens--a negative effect of the exploration, really. It just isn't really fiction this way, because everyone knows this already.

PM me when/if you expand!

Okay, so, what now?

I think you mean this either as a prologue to a longer project (in which case you could move it to the Historical Fiction Novels forum) or an excerpt from a Non-fiction piece (for school, perhaps). Either way, this forum is for fully developed short-stories, and short stories generally have people, characters, plot-lines, etc. Nothing really happens here, although it's well-written! And so I can't give you a critique until I know your intentions for the piece. ^_~ If you'd like it moved to a more appropriate forum, just PM me. It's such an interesting topic, so I do hope you'll continue this.

Happy writing!

~Evi

Hello Aspiring Author!

I can't really add much to what has already been said, but I will give you my bit of opinion.

This paragraph seems like it's the intro into a bigger story, but it isn't a story in itself. I'm not going to list what is in a short story because Evi has already done that, but I will tell you that this is an interesting beginning to what could be a good story. So if you ever add more to this prologue, or if you already have, PM me when you post it! I personally love European Fiction and would be excited to read more of what you write!

-HP

Hey I am going to review your work.

First thing I noticed it is really short for a story...Is there more too it or is this the real thing?

I think you need to add a lot more to it and show the story a little more, because it isn't really easy to find!

Everyone else has pretty much said what I needed to say ^^ But I thought another opinion, might help you to realise what you have to do to this.

I don't think you have thought it through properly, althought the grammar, sentence structure and content is good and fatual, I think it is too factual and not enough story to it!

I agree with homlessporcupine, it does sound like a pararaph of a bi story, and if so, I think you have entered your work into the wrong section.

This is definatly worth continuing because it has something going with it and the concept itself is good

Usually I'm not a fan of historical fiction, but this is something different, so PM me when you know what your going to do with it - I am very interested.

Well done, keep writingxD

This was good. Short, concise, to the point. In one paragraph you explained such an event that shaped a new era in a way. It is factual. But I think that it was written hastily. The technical aspect of it was perfect and all but it is lacking something. But I am confused, is it going to be a story or just an essay?