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A Soldiers dying Letter



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8 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1096
Reviews: 8
Sun Jun 12, 2011 11:31 pm
airforcegirl says...



May 17, 1945
Iwo Jima

We have been at battle for two days shy of a month. 100,000 of us went into this, brave as we are, and already approximately 25,000 are dead or MIA (missing in action). All of our superior Officers say the war is almost over, but is this really true? I don't believe it. For what i know i will be long dead by the time the war is over. I'm one of the lucky ones who survived this long. I have been on this island fighting for the whole month. I joined the marines because of my family history. I went through a 6 weeks of Boot Camp then i was shipped off here on a carrier. I went in and i was immediately shot at, a lot of the men i knew got shot instantly i took cover and actually used some tactics my grandfathers, dad, and uncles, and brothers taught me. Somehow, my family is really lucky and they are all able to come back from war. I spent the previous month fighting, not even going back to camp, since i knew it was too dangerous. I spent the past 2 nights in this same spot because its actually fairly safe. We fought here just 2 days ago , the fighting took out a lot of us and then the Japs just left the spot. I stayed here not daring to go on,Too tired. The next day , late at night, there was a small fire fight only 20-30 of each side and since I was here I helped out. I was shot in the leg and I immediately hid my gun and played dead.It stopped after another hour and i have been laying here since. I'm guessing its been about 18 hours or so, but i have no way of being for sure. By this time I have probably already been reported either MIA or KIA (killed in action).I'm actually bleeding to death, I took the bullet out but it only made things worse, i put on a tourniquet, but that is barely helping. At 17 years of age, barely lived, and I'm dying. In the midst of battle too. Everyone and everything is bloody, either it be their own, a comrades, or an enemy's. I can here the battles around me, the gun shots, the screams, the bombs. There are bodies all around me, dead, for all i know. I'm almost sick of it, i love my country I would do anything for it, even die. Well that's pretty much almost accomplished,But after all this and having no family there's nothing much to live for. I don't even want to live, I don't have a chance of getting back to camp. My mom died soon after i was born, my grandparents are all gone now, My uncles never married, No Aunts, No distant family. All my uncles and brothers actually died in the battles here. My dad died in the war just a couple months before i signed up. I dropped out of high school and forged my "aunts" signature and went in. That's all there is too it. I know I'm going soon. I'm going to sleep until i do. Oh, and just for the record, I'm a girl.

Sorry for any bad grammar, I revised a couple of times though!
Air force!
  





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Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:28 am
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LittleLionWomen says...



really good. I loved it! great job! Also, don't apologise for bad grammar, everyone had bad grammar it's like apologising for breathing. lol! just don't sweat what people think, this site is to help you not point fingers at your faults.
Helpful tip: Capitalize your I's when they are alone.
"Think Sideways" -Edward De Bono
  





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Mon Jun 13, 2011 6:01 am
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IcyFlame says...



I liked the sense you were trying to convey here although I was having a hard time working out who she was writing to. The person does not seem to know her very well as she tells them every single thing about herself. I assume this has been done for the purpose of enlightening the reader but it makes it seem less real.
Aside from a few grammer issues (like lack of paragraphs and forgetting to capilise your 'I's the piece was overall quite accurate - although short.
Keep writing!
  





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8 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1096
Reviews: 8
Tue Jun 14, 2011 7:21 pm
airforcegirl says...



IcyFlame wrote:I liked the sense you were trying to convey here although I was having a hard time working out who she was writing to. The person does not seem to know her very well as she tells them every single thing about herself. I assume this has been done for the purpose of enlightening the reader but it makes it seem less real.


well this is a dying letter, sort of like a diary entry, so basically she is just writing to get her life out there hoping someone will find it, so she will be remembered shes not really writing to anyone in particular.
Air force!
  








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