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The Hero's Decision



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Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:29 am
Ranger51 says...



Ben could hardly interperet the heavily accented voice as it emerged fuzzily from the speakers.

"Hi, this is the captain," said the hijacker in a slurred Arabic accent. "I would like you all to remain seated. There is a bomb on board and are going back to the airport, and to have our demands..." the rest of the words were either said in Arabic or too accented to be understood.

Ben took a deep breath and stroked his daughter's hair gently as she huddled into his side, tears silently falling from her young blue eyes. He still heard the other passengers, some panicking, some in shock and some sobbing into phones, all crowded into the back of the plane by the knife-wielding Arabians who had obviously hijacked the plane. He'd heard of the news already - the World Trade Center in New York hit by hijacking terrorists. He hadn't told Gracie - his daughter was only four. He hadn't wanted to put such a grave thing into such an innocent mind. Now, of course, she was part of it anyways.

Ben heard a voice behind him, screaming at the hijacker vainly.

"Yeah-" he cursed - "right, you son of a -" again, he cursed extensively.

Ben turned around as poor Gracie whimpered. "My daughter's four!" he reprimanded automatically, despite the situation.

"He's got a point, though," said another passenger. "I heard the Twin Towers got hit with planes today," he explained, and several uninformed people gasped in shock. "We could be the next attack. I doubt they're just going to turn around to the airport."

There were several murmurs of agreement.

"I think we should try to take the plane again."

"What?" cried Ben, and he wasn't alone. But at the same time, several other voices were raised in approval.

"We haven't got a chance with them flying the plane into a building, anyways!" continued the man.

"We haven't got a chance going up against those knives, either!" argued another passenger.

"Would you rather take out thousands of lives with you then?" cried the man. "What do you think they'll take out? Washington DC? How many American lives do you think they'll take?"

No one answered. The man didn't sit back down.

"Come on! Are we going to cower here in the back of an airplane while these terrorists destroy whatever they want?"

Ben didn't make eye contact with the man - no one did. Gracie sobbed in his lap, joining in with the weeping that was the only thing that filled the silent cabin.

He knew what the right thing was, to be sure: take back the plane. But the image of the snarling, shouting Arabs stuck in his mind, as well as the most important factor: those knives. They'd stabbed a flight attendant, and it had gone into her so easily... those knives were so sharp. He remembered how they'd glinted...

Just like the way their eyes glinted. So sharp, so dangerous, so hard. Eyes like knives. But they were warm, too - warm with smug dominance as they treated fellow humans like pigs, as if they were something better just because of their stupid religious differences. They believed - the actually believed - that they could never be wrong, that anyone who thought differently was a lesser being, an animal to be slaughtered. They actually thought they were better! This was not just massacring - this was spitting in humanity's face.

Ben took a deep breath. He had to say it. He had a decision, and he had to make it. He gently pushed Gracie from his lap. His brain reeled against the silence and the pressure and the memory of the horrid, glinting knives, and his mind screamed to stop, but he'd already stood, and now everyone was turning, watching, listening...

"No." Ben's throat constricted around the word, but he forced it out, his anger just barely pushing away his fear.

"No," he repeated. "We can't just sit here and do nothing. We can't just let those Arabian pigs think they're high and mighty just because they're willing to murder thousands of innocent people they've never even met before." He paused to gasp in some air; he'd spat the sentence out with one shallow breath. "We can't."

Everyone watched in amazement. Then Ben sat back down.

The man stood again. "All in favor of attacking the cockpit, stand."

Ben rose to his feet; he'd made his decision. Everyone else simply watched in amazement. Then, something astounding happened.

Gracie looked up at her father. And then, slowly, she stood.

"I don't want to let the mean people win," she said in her small voice.

And suddenly, a person rose. Then two people, then three, and soon, nearly everyone was standing boldly, with both tears and determination in their eyes.

The man looked to Gracie. He knelt to meet her young eyes, and whispered to her, "You're a hero, child. You know that, don't you?"

Gracie hung her head in youthful shyness, not even seeing the momentousness of her decision. "Thank you, sir," she murmured automatically in her little girl's voice.

There was a long wait as everyone tried to make final calls to their families, aware that these were probably their last moments alive. Ben tried, but his phone wouldn't connect. He felt a deep mourning for his Marissa - his wife would be so hurt when she heard the news. But there was nothing he could do anymore.

Finally, the man who had spoken stood, his phone still to his cheek. He placed one hand on the handle that would open the door and spoke one last time, both to the passengers and to his wife miles away.

"Let's roll."


Spoiler! :
This was done in honor of Flight 93 on 9/11, in case there are some of you who don't know. I've always found it inspiring, and to me it turned 9/11 into a story of heroes amidst a tragedy. Thanks for reading, and please review.
"We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?"
-Fahrenheit 451
  





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Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:02 am
katngo73 says...



Hello there!
I think this was a pretty good story. I loved it. It shows a guy with a little kid, not wanting to do anything serious... and how Gracie stood up! CLIMAX!!!!! Haha, yes, indeed I loved it. It is a great story and I hope you make many more like these!!


GREAT JOB AND KEEP WRITING!!!!!


~Kat
“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes.”-The Fourth Doctor
"Who I was, what I did, that's not who I am." - Castiel
"Friends protect you." - John Watson
  





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Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:07 am
RKORyder says...



Wow.....This.....this is amazing. I read alot fo stories based on the 9/11 attack and this is the first I've read about with the character on one of the planes. Great job. Keep up the amazing work. :D
  





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Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:12 am
confetti says...



I agree with you. The story of Flight 93, while a great tragedy, is an inspiring tale. It's always what tugs in the back of my mind when I think of 9/11. I'm glad you decided to write something about it. The people on that flight deserve to be known as heroes.
"Hi, this is the captain," said the hijacker in a slurred Arabic accent. "I would like you all to remain seated. There is a bomb on board and are going back to the airport, and to have our demands..." the rest of the words were either said in Arabic or too accented to be understood.

I wasn't fond of this part. I'm not going to pretend that I'm an expert of plane hijacking, but why would the man bother to say these things? I know it sets a scene for your story, but it seems a bit unrealistic.
Ben took a deep breath and stroked his daughter's hair gently as she huddled into his side, tears silently falling from her young blue eyes.

I feel like your story would have more effect if the daughter was more oblivious as to what was going on. Maybe she asks her father and he lies to her to keep her calm?
They'd stabbed a flight attendant, and it had gone into her so easily...

Another reason why the terrorists wouldn't pretend to be the captain. People saw what happened, people know what's going on (for the most part).
But they were warm, too -

I think what you described has more of a cold feel to it. Warm is the look loved ones give each other, not a terroristic smugness.
They believed - they actually believed - that they could never be wrong,

"Thank you, sir," she murmured automatically in her little girl's a small voice.



Where I think your story lacks most is in the dialogue. It's not off by much, but it seemed like the people were speaking oddly. I think we a little revised dialogue, your story would be so much more breathtaking. What I did love about it was how the little girl stood. The courage from the passengers in this story is undeniable.
I have one last comment - the ending. I didn't care for it much.
"Let's roll."

It seems like something a bank robbing would say, you know? Not just a bank robber, obviously. What I'm trying to get at here is that it seems so slangy. I would have loved to see it ending with something along the lines of:
I took a deep, shaky breath and made my way towards the cockpit.

I'm sure you could come up with something better, but I hope you can see what I mean.

Anyways, for the more part, this was well-written. I'm glad that with all the 9/11 stories on here, someone decided to make one about Flight 93.
"So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads."
— Dr. Seuss
  





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Sun Sep 11, 2011 2:13 pm
Kaedee says...



Hi Ranger!

Overall, this was pretty well-written and touching. Adding the little girl into the story was great. Her actually being present, sitting next to her father made me really think about how hard the choice to attack the cockpit would have been for the man and all the other parents or just any person in that airplane, really.

I still think that you can make this piece a little bit more emotional/dramatic. This can be done in simple ways. For example, the alternative ending confetti wrote makes the ending more intense.
confetti wrote:I took a deep, shaky breath and made my way towards the cockpit.
Also, maybe you can add in more thoughts of the man thinking about his family, his daughter, etc.

Thank you for writing this-

Kae
Perfect things in life aren't things.
Spoiler! :
*_______*
  





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Sun Sep 11, 2011 11:35 pm
Sannah says...



This was pretty epic... My favorite part was when the little girl stood. :) That was beautiful.

I agree that the dialogue didn't seem as realistic as it could be. Just think if you were the father and you had gone through the things he has been through. What would you say and think? Imagine yourself as the character as they speak. That's what works for me anyway... I also agree that it would improve your story if you described his wife and maybe some memories he had with his family. I also think it was odd how the Arabic people announced they were taking over the plane. They stabbed a flight attendant and they feel the need to announce their motive? It's already clear.

That would be a good alternate opening too... You could have a paragraph or two showing how he is a normal person, everything all peaceful and boom! There's a knife through a flight attendant. It's your preference though; it's already good the way it is. :)

I like this a lot. I was shivering through the whole thing. And I loved how you described the men's eyes like knifes... That was absolutely amazing. Pure genius. I'm glad you wrote this. 9/11 needs to be remembered. I was too young to remember it and but it still upsets me. Just thinking that all the lives that were ruined and all the families that were shattered makes me shiver. Anyway, good job!
"Raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth." My Chemical Romance
"I will never cease to fly if held down and I will always reach too high." Vanessa Carlton
"And rest assured, cause' dreams don't turn to dust." Owl City
  





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Mon Sep 12, 2011 1:30 am
Ranger51 says...



Hey guys, just a disclaimer, 'cause I've gotten a lot of comments about it: the first and last quotes were actually taken from the voice recording of the last 30 minutes of the flight. I didn't make those up. The hijacker really did make the announcement (I think it was to try to calm the passengers) and the guy really did say "let's roll" before they stormed the cockpit.
"We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?"
-Fahrenheit 451
  








A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
— Unknown