Young Writers Society

I love the quotes you put in there. It has a great effect.

I like how you put the MC's rationalization in there. It helps the reader understand how the people felt (or at least the author's interpretation of such) and how they thought they were doing right.

I like how the MC had an almost hysterical point of view, as if evil was everywhere. You managed to keep it from being just two-dimensional craziness, as the MC was a well-developed character.

I'm not qualified to say if anything is historically inaccurate, so good work. xD

I agree with StarryWold, the quotes really help give the story dimension. I'm not in any position to say whether or not it is historically accurate, but it seems about right to me. If you want it to be completly accurate, do lots of research about the Witch Trials.

Well done!

The story flows very nicely, and does keep the reader well informed.

Judging by my History class last year, all of it is historically accurate. I like the quote idea, too, since it gives a side of the story other than MC's.

I really do like the story, but it does seem like a lot of narration to me, like a funky twist to a History lesson. Obviously, it tells the story of the Trials, but personallyI'm a fan of more fictional information. But that's probably just me.

Thanks for sharing:)

-Laminated

Hi there, FreshMeat. Interesting username, by the way

First and foremost, your title should be spelled Witches as it the proper plural for 'witch'. The way it is currently spelled is the possessive form.

The Salem Witch Trials is always a fun topic to write about, in a morbid sort of way. However, due to the fact that is an extremely complex subject of many layers, people tend to stray from it often not only because of its disturbing and upsetting qualities but also because it is so nitpick-y in historical accuracy. And so, the novels and stories out there along this topic are usually quite good because they are researched to a fantastic depth. In this case, you have researched some and if more, you have not demonstrated it well enough. These are just basics and I seriously think you should add something on a much more personal level. Additionally, this is Historical fiction? You're allowed some free run of the topic, add in your own personal twist and it can be that much better. This Mary Bradbury - some people don't know a whole lot, let alone anything, about the witch trials - expand on her. She's the narrator and naturally people will be curious. Lend more of her thoughts about the trials into your writing - it would definitely be something interesting to read. At the moment, I'm flipping back between the ideas that Mary Bradbury supports and wholeheartedly believes the whole thing with witches and then I suddenly think she's against it all. You must be clear. Clarity is extremely important when writing historical fiction.

Second off, this seems more of an expository or little more than a descriptive essay to me. There's not a whole lot of creative narrative involved in this. For me, it reads a bit like a huge informational text with a few descriptions and written using the pronoun 'I'. Like I mentioned above, probably including personal inferences from Mary Bradbury, the narrator, would add a little more personality to the piece rather than just being very cemented into place by historical facts. With fiction, remember, you do have the right to run free a bit, within the limitations of the genre of course. Run wild...until the barbed wire stops you!

And third, and last, I'd like to discuss the insertion of the quotes. Sure, it's a really creative idea, but it's not very literary in the professional sense. I like them a little, but not a whole lot since they really break the flow of the story and all of a sudden, I'm reading a short little quote. Maybe one quote at the beginning is enough - a really strong one - but please don't include them throughout the rest of the story. They are nice, but they really ruin the flow and it breaks up ideas that should not necessarily be separated in the first place.

Overall, it's a good start. It's a good topic to be educated about.

If you have any questions about this review, please don't hesitate to shoot me a PM.

Yours,
Lavvie

Greetings Fresh Meat! Typing in your name made me hungry....

Getting back to the point. I am a fan of witches. Not in the "I-believe-that-devils-are-so-powerful" way, but in a curious way. The mystery of the fact calls everyone to solve it. I simply am interested in the supernatural as well, which got me intrigued with your post.

The first thing I would like to say is the technique you used with your over-all story structure. You inserted quotations about witches between every scene. I've read this kind of structure many times already and yet I never get tired of it. In other words, I fell in love with your story not only about its topic but also because of the way you wrote it. It is simply beautiful, I must say. Each line made a mark in the status of witches today.

The story plot is quite impressive too. In my own perspective, its theme was supernatural but you kept the plot subtle and life-like. Take Red Riding Hood for example. It was set on an ye olde era, but it kept the conflicts of the modern time, which is, I think is a very creative way to keep readers reading and knowing. Yours kept the documentary type; you don't try to scare the readers, the reader scare themselves. One word: Astounding.

That's all for now. I look forward into reading more of your works.

Sooner or later,
Al