lol, I had forgotten that I had even written this until today. Anyway, this one comes from David Eggers short stories, 'To the point of breaking, the rope was stretched.' We had been asked to add a twist to the story so I decided to set in it Marmite, the pig's POV for anyone who hasn't read the story before. You should be able to get the general gist of the storyline even if you haven't read the proper story before so I hope you do.
Great, he’s at doing that thing again. You know, that thing that’s human do sometimes. What’s it called? Ah, stupidity, that’s it.
Lately, I haven’t been feeling to well and can you guess what this guy does? He takes me on a walk, of all things. Oink, as if my life wasn’t bad enough already without having to put up with this idiot, along with a severe stomach-ache. I don’t even know where it came from, I mean, I was perfectly fine yesterday when he took me to see that guy covered in white. Of course, he wasn’t exactly white by the time I was finished with him, ‘snort’.
Seriously though, I must have done something really bad in my past life or something as my life is even more shit that the muck I was just rolling around in a moment ago. Born the runt of the litter, mother died after our birth and the cherry on the cake? Being rescued by this guy. I wouldn’t mind it that much, hell; I’d probably even like him for saving me if it weren’t for all his little… habits.
Grrrr, I swear, if he puts one more pink bow in my hair or brushes all of my curly body hair one more time, I swear I’m going bite his arm so hard that it will fall off! I’m a dirty and muck covered pig, not some French poodle who he can play dress up with!
Oh great, now he’s trying to discuss the view. God, I swear this guy has more than one screw lose in his head. Oink, I’ll admit, it probably would be very beautiful view to a creature that could appreciate it, what with how the bright sunlight is bouncing off the water… hey, I wonder how high this cliff is? No! Bad Marmite! Murder is a bad thing to do, despite how annoying that person may be. Besides, I’d probably fall off the cliff myself as well…
Okay, that does it. First, he drags me out to the middle of nowhere to stare at the bloody sun over a cliff, tempts me with a trip to forage for roots and acorns when I’m feeling unwell and then he has the balls to try and stroke me! That’s it, this guy’s going down! It’s time to take a plummet over the cliff for you! Muwhahaha!
… Okay that turned out to be not one of my smartest things I’ve ever done, oink. The good news? I knocked him off the cliff. The bad news? Right now my back is being scraped against the rock of the Cliffside while I’m starring directly down at the 200-foot drop below, oink! That’s some drop.
Wait, what’s he doing now? Oh god! He’s undoing the strap around my collar, oink! I’m going to take the plummet instead of him, oink! Is their no end to this injustice? I swear to you god, you better not ever hope to bump into me, overwise I’ll bite you in the balls!
Oink, this is going to hurt…
Mother…
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