Young Writers Society

Haha Nice!
This is 4 all the ppl out there who r TOTALLY obsessed with Twilight. Luv the ending !
x

See all those reviews up there?

Bella is a whorish pig. Vampires feel no sympathy.

Thank you Sela, for your services as a writer. I hope we can go to the beach some time and roast Smores over this utter crap Meyer has written.

I would marry you if it weren't illegal. Actually I probably would not. I'm very flattered and all, but I appreciate your friendship more than your relentless advances.

To all those up there, Bella would act like that, such as people like that do. They flood the hallways of high schools everywhere and it makes me wonder if it had recently become a law not to parent your child and teach them morals and not to be so easy.



-Thailijah

Thailijah - I apologize for my relentless advancing. Heaven knows Mr. Guitar Hero/Chinless Wonder will be jealous. ; ) Thank you, for your very generous compliment, Thaiest dear. =DDDDDD

-SELA

P.S.

Bella is a whorish pig. Vampires feel no sympathy.

AAAAAYYYYYY-men!

Wow! This was really great!
I'm a sucker for Twilight, and I honestly loved this!
I guess I should give some constructive criticism, but I never seem to be able to when I really like something, so all I can say is that you did a great job, and I really enjoyed reading. ^^

Haha! I do like it. I was reading it and kind of going "huh? This is just a silly rewrite!" So the ending really took me by surprise, it was fantastic!

As far as writing it self is concerned, you emulate Meyer very well even if you don't mean to, and you catch Bella in a very good light.

And yay! Evil Edward! Never liked that boy.

I'm not sure if you were looking for a ful review on this, I don't generally do fan fiction and it's a bit harder to critique than normal things. However, if you do, give me a shout, okay dear?

Loved it!

-Stel x

Haha. That was good. ^-^
I'm a lover of Twilight and was a little bit afraid to read, but I seriously liked it. The ending worked out really good and I thought it was smart to add the lion and the lamb.
Overall, I don't think I saw anything wrong, but I was really captivated by the story to pay attention. Sorry. It was a bit fast as some others said, but, overall, good job!

OMEE!!!! *fan girl squeal!* This was great. A couple of things though.
1. Edward never calls her "Bells"
2. Edward seemed a bit superficial. (i know, he is usually) But he lost some of the spark he had in the books.
3. Bella's character seemed to change too.
Sorry these are just things i picked up on. On the other hand, This was excellent. Well Done.

I really liked all the twists in it. i also loved the kind of foreshadowing you give when you make Bella continually reassure that nothing is wrong. its as though she knows something is going to happen, but she doesn't want to believe it. Even at the very end, she savors the fact that she is with Edward. it makes it kind of sick and twisted, in a good way.

ha, that was really good. I was expecting something more humerous originating from the word 'parody,' but I still liked it alot.

good use of description, and though you didn't quite capture Stephenie Meyer's writing technique, you made good use of your own. I liked the twist at the end, how he appeared less strong-willed then in the book.
Overall, great job.

Hey, I used to LOVE the twilight series but after reading it like 30 times I realized how anti-climatic Breaking Dawn is and how corny the love scenes and actions scenes were. Bella was a naive idiot in my mind who acted as if Edward was her one and only dependant, can someone say pathetic? Sadly, this isn't very original actually. On fanficton.com I used to remember in my Twilight obsessed days I would find stories JUST LIKE THIS and comment on how jealous and pathetic the authors were. So not very original but it doesn't really matter, it's not like you could legally make money off this anyway so yeah.

I love/pity the first commenter, he just made me laugh yet I pitied that reviewer like how you would laugh at the nerd who was asked to prom by the head cheerleader in school just to find out when going to pick her up, she already left with the Quarterback of the football team.

Ahaha, that was certainly an interesting twist. Maybe you should have added in the detail that his eyes turn black when he's about to feed. Poor Charlie though, he's about to lose his only daughter. But then I don't think Edward would have excused her from a class like that, it would draw too much attention towards him and his family if she was murdered.

Hi TreeHugger12,#
I've read the Twilight Saga and I think that your version was very good, almost as good as the real thing apart the obvious fact that Bella becomes a vampire in the real thing and gets drained in your version, but I love it all the same.
Midnightread

Edward would never do that and spoiler bella does become a vampire

Thanks for not riddling it with unncecessary details. We all know what he looks like after the books and the movies, and if not, there's something called Google, so there ya go. Bella, you nailed her character! Good job...only, with Bella dead, what happens to the rest of the plot?? Lol

If Edward had killed Bella at the beginning of the series like this, then I wouldn't have had to endure the rest of the book! If this is a parody, awesome! If not, it's still cool because Bella no longer bothers everyone.

Keep writing!

--Glim