Young Writers Society

This is really good! Very interesting. I have a few suggestions though. At the end of the chapter you kind of just cut off. You should try maybe adding some suspense so the reader will be dieing to read the next chapter you know? Also, there could always be more details. For example,

"The outsiders have agreed to the boundaries, we-" He trailed off as he collapsed to the floor, and did not rise.

I was a bit confused. I was wondering if he really died or not. Since it was Rain's father you could have written in some of the feelings that Rain had. And if he did really die you could make it less rushed by adding other things. It was really great otherwise! You stayed on topic and I really hope there are other parts!

Great job!

I only wonder what the prologue had to do with the first chapter. The only thing that was the same was a cat's name (I'm assuming it was the same cat in both), otherwise they made almost no sense at all!
Try to develop Rain a bit more - is she proud of her father, scared for him? (Did he die?) Describe your cat's surroundings more too, ok?

Keep writing,
Alzora

It's nice to see a fan fiction from the view of Tribe cats, but a few errors in punctuation and grammar lower the quality of the piece.